The Jezebel Spirit and the Single Woman in the Church

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**this page deals exclusively about incorrectly identifying who in the church has the Jezebel spirit. The spirit is demonic, so an error here could lead to much distress, and lack of success in stopping it. There are other pages on this site that discusses the Jezebel further.


In the Bible, Ahab was a wicked, but passive, king over Israel. He had an aggressive, hateful, hot tempered, controlling, witch of a wife named Jezebel, who was more  wicked than he was.

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Jezebel, as queen, derived her power and authority from her relationship with her husband, the king. If she had not been married to the king, she would have had very little authority, or influence.

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If she had been a single woman, or a widow, she would have had no authority whatsoever. In a male dominated culture, the woman derives her strength and influence from how important her husband, or father, is.

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Little has changed in 4000 years. Even now in the secular world, women cannot succeed very well, unless they have the support of husband and family, or they are single, and have no obligations, like conflicting child care issues.

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But in the process somewhere, they have the support of men who control everything, or the support of women, who originally had to have the support of men.

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Modern churches allow women to minister to some extent, but there are restrictions which are in practice, but maybe not in writing.

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Many churches do not see women as ministry material, because they consider women to be in a submissive, and supportive, role to men only. It is the husband who is the minister, and the wife just supports him.

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In some cases, we see women ministers, who have the support of their husbands, and therefore support of the church.

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Sometimes, we may see elderly women as ministers, who have been widowed, who had a successful marriage, before their husband passed away.

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Usually, women’s roles are confined to cleaning the church, child care during services, the choir, musician, or office work.

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What you will rarely, or never, see is a divorced woman, or a single mother with children, being allowed to minister in any fashion, especially in a leadership role.

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They are not considered ministry material, but instead, are considered in need of being ministered to themselves.

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They are spiritually deficient, and incomplete. They are not qualified. They are many times portrayed as women who have failed spiritually, or who are on the prowl for other women’s husbands.

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Most churches are designed to accept intact families, young people, and the elderly.

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Divorced women are outcasts, and many times stereotyped as sinful women, unable to keep a man, despite any evidence to that effect.

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At best, they are treated as pathetic creatures, not leaders. They are women of lesser value than the married women.

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They are usually shunned by married women, or ignored, and not invited to any gathering of a more personal nature.

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They are held responsible for their failed marriage, even if it was the ex-husband who was at fault.

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Married women are considered more pure.

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A divorced man will be accepted more quickly than a divorced woman, even if he was the one to commit adultery, and ruin the marriage. He is somehow forgiven. He can even remarry, and go into ministry.

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But the victimized wife basically becomes a fallen woman.

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The pastor will avoid her too, and not talk to her, unless his wife or another “more respectable” woman is present.

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Divorced women are to be prayed for; they are not to minister.

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This is not to assert that all divorces are due to the man, but to just describe treatment of the woman who was not at fault in her failed marriage.

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Divorced women are lepers.

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They are seen as women who sex drives must be unsatisfied, and therefore out of control. (When did a wedding ring guarantee that people behave themselves?)

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It never occurs to the church that such woman may actually be leading a very pure, and holy life. The stereotype is that married women are pure, and divorced women are not, or not likely.

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This happens to be very traumatic and demeaning for the decent woman who may either have leadership ability, wonderful thoughts to share, or who is just someone who would like some friendship.

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If her children are small, or still with her, then she is nothing, and may not get much kind treatment, unless it is Christmas time, and people want to be “charitable.”

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Maybe she can redeem herself if she remarries, or becomes successful in the secular world.

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If she remarries, then maybe her sex drives are more under control, and then maybe she can be treated as respectable. She is now more pure.

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This would add status to her position in the church if she pays tithes, but it will not change the opinion of the married women about her as a person, as long as she is single.

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If she gives large offerings, it might be seen as trying to gain the pastor’s affection or attention, and be viewed secretly with resentment.

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There is a lot of personal testimony to back this statement up.
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Somehow, sex and holiness are linked in a twisted way. Sex in marriage does not make one holy.

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And someone who is not married, is not necessarily leading an unholy life.
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Someone who is married can be a very nasty person. The same is true for the unmarried.

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People should not be stereotyped, and should be considered on their individual merits or limitations.

In this current church social structure, therefore, divorced women do not do well, and have no opportunity to contribute their talents, authority, or influence over what goes on the in the typical church. If they are welcomed there at all, they are just “there.”

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Their money offerings are always welcome. In the church, as with any social group, there can be administrative problems.

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One complaint some churches have is that there is a tendency for some individuals to want to control the pastor.

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In recent times, it has been popular to coin the term, “the Jezebel spirit.”

The Jezebel is usually thought to be a woman who is out to destroy the church with rebellion.

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The divorced woman is seen as a rebellious Jezebel, who has refused to submit, or cannot submit, to a man, which is why no man “wants her.”

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It is disregarded that she may have been betrayed, mistreated, or abandoned, victimized and abused, by her ex-husband.

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She is seen as one who would rebel against male authority.

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It may not be relevant to anyone that the reason that men don’t want her now, is because they do not want her 4 kids, or because she has lived too many years raising her own children by herself, and now she is old, and tired.

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She just does not look that good anymore.

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A life, without the support of others, has worn her down. If she gets old enough, or ugly enough, then the church might accept her back, because she will not be a sexual threat anymore.

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But will she still be a “rebellious woman.” and a threat to the pastor?

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This assignment to the powerless individual as a scapegoat is unfair.

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Usually, the accuser is actually the Jezebel, but is too “holy” to be suspected.

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We must recall that Jezebel had gotten her authority as queen, from her husband the king, who passively let her do whatever she wanted.

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Jezebel was a rebellious witch against God, yet she was properly married.

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How can one reconcile the role of Jezebel spirit in the church, and the powerless, and many times despised, divorced woman.

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This woman is shunned.

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How could an outcast influence anyone in the church?

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While it might be true that the divorced, both men and women, may not act properly, and could be rebellious, it also has to be admitted that these people usually do not even attend church.

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If they do, they do not have the ability to overturn the pastor’s authority, or hold a position of influence. And who is to legitimately claim that married people cannot be equally rebellious?

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People need to get past the misconception that marriage guarantees holiness, and that the unmarried are automatically sinful.

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Holiness is closeness to God, and walking in obedience to His ways, with a loving heart. Holiness is available to all people who devote themselves to God in depth and sincerity.

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The church must not pick out the powerless and make them scapegoats for problems they feel they are having in the church.

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Their marriage status should not be important.

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Each person’s commitment and faithfulness to God should be viewed fairly.

It is wrong to put artificial labels on people anyhow.

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It is worse to use God’s Holy Word to justify unfair accusations.

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The divorce rate in modern society is somewhere around 50% of couples.

Many people will become lost, and leave church, if they are not loved, and accepted, in the church as equals.

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Most divorced people do not even attend church. People need to be more kind.

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If the church does not treat them properly, these people will seek provision and support elsewhere.

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Usually, they look to the government, and any political party which will offer them financial and social benefits, even if it compromises their morals.

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There is no support or acceptance in the church for these emotional outcasts. They are not secure.

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Even though both political parties in America support civil rights and aid to the poor, the outcasts are looking for more: acceptance and security.

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They then look to their political party or the government as their God and provider, and feel compelled to turn their back on moral issues like abortion, homosexuality, pornography, and all the anti-Christian, anti-American, and godless legislation that many current politicians represent, just to gain acceptance and financial help.

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So they vote for whomever may give them favor.

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They are also prey to secular thinking, and false religious theories and doctrines.

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The outcasts react, and look for a solution to their rejection by the church. The church should not have pushed them in this direction.

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God will hold all believers responsible for the plight of these “fallen angels.”
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***the point : the Jezebel Spirit is real….She can be single or married…….but be careful, and responsible, about identifying who has this spirit. It would be very destructive if an accusing finger was pointed at the wrong person. An innocent person would be hurt, and alienated, and the guilty party would still be free.

Click here to see how to identify and remove the Jezebel spirit.
Click here to see how to deal with the Jezebel spirit in the workplace.

Click here to see how the Jezebel spirit creates a carnal Christianity in the church.

Click here to see how to real about the root causes of Jezebel.

Click here to see how to real about the sneaky charming Jezebel.

Click here to see how to heal a fallen Jezebel.


115 Responses to “The Jezebel Spirit and the Single Woman in the Church”

  1. I am a single, divorced woman of 10 years and am in my late 30′s. My former Pastor’s wife and many of the members of that congregation took it upon themselves to tell me just what you are describing here…. not pointing a finger to a “Jezebel” spirit but to the fact that I am depraved or incomplete because I do not have a husband. Paul and Jesus did not spouses. Neither did Mary or Martha and Jesus came to them first after His Resurrection. I was amazed at how these women took it upon themselves to pray for me to have a husband, and did not take the time to hear from God on the matter. God’s plan for me in my life is to remain single just as Paul talks about in Corinthians Chapter 7!!! If, they had spent time in their prayer closet, in intimacy with God, rather than worrying about my “incompleteness” they would have known that God has not purposed it in His heart form my life ,during this season of my life. How pretnetious is that?
    You made some very good points in your post and I appreciate you addressing this. Paul said he had learned to “be content in whatever state he was in” I am content in the place that God ahs me right now. I am content in His care, content in His mercy, content to be a daughter of the King!!

    May God continue to bless you! Thank you for your post

    • Hey Leslie, I am Leslie too! I have been saying these words for almost a decade myself. The author of this post has walked in my shoes and somehow has been reading my mind. If someone would have told me that people would treat me in this fashion after I became divorced, I surely would not have believed them. I had grown up in the church and I myself would never treat someone like this. But, they did. And through the years, I have told my friends who were doing through a divorce, to expect this.
      Thankfull I kept my faith in Jesus and learned to just rely on Him alone. He was rejected. He was lied about. He gave to get nothing in return but pain. He was blameless, but condemed instead. Not that I can compare myself to His holiness or sacrifice, but He walked in my shoes and understands my sorrow and pain.
      And I suffered deeply due to the treatment I received from the church, which was exactially as the post above describes. I am thankful for the lesson to lean on Jesus and depend on Him alone.

      Leslie

      • hi leslie B

        Well, my name is not Leslie. :) It is Marianne. I am the one who wrote this.

        Just stick to your values and principles. When God comes for his bride, you will be part of the elect.

        • Thank you Marianne for this post!
          Yes , there are Jezebel women in the Church as they are found outside the Church and they are propped up by the big titles and high positions / connections of their Ahab husbands. Jezebels are married women who use their bad characters to wreck havoc in the Church of Jesus Christ .1 Kings 21:25.
          These Jezebels wiIl, eventually, destroy their own lives and the lives and ministries of their husbands like Jezebel did.1 King 21:23.
          Take a good look at these Jezebels and you would find that they have achieved NOTHING on their own personal merits.
          As your post says , it is true Jezebels wear their husbands’ ranks and they hide their inadequacies behind their husbands’ anointing and positions in the society and in the Church. Jezebels do not possess the anointing of the Holy Spirit and so they are very manipulative as all witches are.! Many of these Jezebels preach, teach, speak in tongues and even prophesy ( Lord have mercy!).
          Some of them have even written books( lol!) ; “books” which would not have sold more than 20 copies , but for the Jezebels’ connections and their Ahabs’ positions in the Church!.
          Take away their Ahabs or take away his exalted office and position; an d watch these Jezebels fall down into nothingness with a loud band !
          Jezebels and all insecure women who depend on their husbands, know this fact and that explains why they see every single and attracti ve woman as a threat to their marriages!
          If you were an old , wrinkled and shabbily-dressed single / divorced woman , they would not be hostile and nasty to you.
          Would the Church change her policies and attitudes towards single and divorced woman?
          No hope for that . As long as there are Jezebels and Ahabs in the Church, single women would have to take all the bad attitudes in their stride, ignore them or leave the Church.
          God will require of the blood of every single woman who have been hounded out of the Church, from the hands of these Jezebels and their Ahabs!

      • Leslie , I have experienced some of these shameful attitudes in the church because I am divorced ,36y/o with two children.
        I love the Lord Jesus, I am working for Him and I want to be used by Him for the rest of my life .His grace is sufficient for me,
        I have no intentions of reconciling with my ex or marrying any man ; because I believe “Once is enough!”.
        According to some people in the Church , that is my crime !
        One of these Jezebels even had the audacity to ask me in church , one day, ” Where is your husband ? What is your mission here?!”
        She said it with a sweet smile in a friendly way , but I got her mind frame and I replied her, with a sweet smile too, “What is YOUR mission here? Is it to build for God or to build a CULT of husband-worshippers , inside this church ?!”
        On another occassion , they called for a Women’s Prayer meeting. During which one of the women leaders made an altar call that all the single and divorced women and single mothers should come out , kneel at the altar so that all the married women would stretch their hands towards them and pray for “their fallen sisters”, to be delivered from the shame and reproach of being single!
        The caller went further to say all single women should kneel at the altar and ” confess their sins and ask God for forgiveness of their sin of rebellion against male authority and God’s authority!”.
        It fills my heart with great joy and my mouth with laughter whenever I remember the look on the faces of those pride-filled married women in that prayer meeting ; as they watched hundreds of single women , stand up and walked ; not towards the altar for absurd prayers; but towards the front door !
        Most of the single and divorced women who walked out that day , never returned to the church.

    • Before I read all this here,I was thinking that SOMETHING, must be wrong with me and that God was against me for being a divorcee , even through no fault of mine. It is so comforting and assuring in my faith in the Lord Jesus to read here that I am not alone in my bewilderment at the way people in the church have treated me and there is nothing wrong with me!
      But EVERY fault and shame lies in the very bad attitude of the Church towards single women.
      Just as single women feel the pain , so does the Holy Spirit.
      God will surely judge and cleanse His Church from this sin and unrighteousness.
      Everybody who knows my story knows that I went through a traumatic marriage experience for 6 years due to my ex’s attitude and I went through an acrimonious divorce case.
      But even the hurt , trauma and rejection I suffered from my marriage and divorce case pale into insignificance when compared with what I have got from “church people!”, especially from church women!
      I have spent many years in different churches , and one after the other, as a divorced woman, my bitter experience in Church has been the same.
      Divorced men fare better in church because, as usual , men get away with murder, even in the Church!
      My ex husband has been attending church with his live in-partner , openly, and no one condemns them.
      The unjust preaching in the Church is that: ” every wise woman builds her home!”, but nobody in church condemns the unwise ex husband who did not give the wise woman any peace or support ; neither did her allow her any space to do any home-building!

      My experience in church has been very bitter, exactly as this blog has set out and especially the very strange bit that the tithes and offerings of divorced and single women are not regarded as “unclean , unsubmissive and rebellious ” but we are regarded as such by every church
      I think instead of the hypocritical facade of smiling faces and lip service paid to “love and fellowship”; churches, should put up large banners at their gates showing ” SINGLE AND DIVORCED WOMEN , KEEP OFF!!
      Church people, especially married women, become very hostile once they hear that you are single or divorced and worst still , if they hear you say you have no intentions, EVER, of reconciling with your ex.
      hey would immediately conclude you are “dangerous to all marriages” , you are in church to seduce and hunt for a husband, any husband , including their own “precious” husbands!
      Word would pass round the church grape vine that : “Beware, a Jezebel and seducer of men, seeking whom to devour , is on the prowl!”
      Some people in church, would even point at you and say, “there she goes; one of them has joined the church again!”
      In Church, I have suffered terrible snobbery, gossip, ridicule, false accusations of “trying to seduce men in the church, especially seducing ALL the church leaders, ”
      Even when I saw none of the men in the church as worth snatching!
      I have been accused of seeking attention and recognition and seeking to attract men by dressing fashionably and by excelling in my assignments in the church and because I give financially and generously !
      There have been cases where I started doing assignments in church , and soon after , without any explanation to me , I was stopped and shoved aside. As if I was being told, ” You do not qualify! Go and get married , first!”
      I found out that each time that happened, some people , especially married women had gone to complain that the church must not allow divorced and single women to hold church offices!
      People I complained to , over the years have been advising me to dump the Church , but I refused to listen ,
      But , fourteen months ago, I made up my mind, AT LAST; to stop going to any church and to fellowship on line and on cable TV; and to serve the Lord with my gifts, my talents and my money OUTSIDE the Church.
      Since then, I have been having a glorious ,fulfilling Christian life.
      Thank God that we are blessed by so many Christian TV channels and we can be a blessing to thousands of people outside the Church.
      If not for these avenues of fellowship and service to the Lord , where would divorced and single women like me find the comfort in the Word of God , and be enjoying peaceful fellowship and service without all the meanness and nastiness which goes on in churches?

      • well. Grace, you are safe here……!

        • Thanks Marianne. Yes , I am safe and happy now.
          Thank God for His grace and His love showered upon us all.
          It takes God’s grace for any woman to possess the guts and the ability to escape from the horrors of an abusive husband and then remain as a divorced single woman / mother , in today’s Church .
          Many married women wish they could opt out of the mess in their marriages ; but they cannot do so when they see how divorced women are treated by the society and by the Church.
          So these women have remained, suffering in silence , in their unpleasant , sad marriages; just because they don’t have the guts and the empowerment to leave their lousy husbands.

    • I understand so well, what it is like for women to not welcome me at church. I have even had men flirt with me in front of their wife, then later treat me like it is my fault. This hurts, I would never flirt with or, go after someone’s husband. How dare they even think that!

      • dear pure

        you will find that being in church does not make a man holy, just like sitting in a garage does not make you a car.

        stay out of churches that treat you like that.

  2. Hi Leslie,

    I understand your viewpoint. I have been divorced since 1984, and I have been through the same thing. Married women just assume divorced women have “unmet sexual desires” which would be a threat in a church, so they want to marry you off, so they feel secure around their own husbands, who might be attracted to you. That is fleshly thinking.

    In other ways, the married women are not that happy in their marriages, and they are actually jealous of you, because you are still single and attractive. So to destroy that, they want you to me married, and unhappy, like them.

    Life, and people, are strange. In the same way, we are to drive defensively with our cars, do the same in church.

    blessings
    marianne

  3. Hi Leslie,

    I understand your viewpoint. I have been divorced since 1984, and I have been through the same thing. Married women just assume divorced women have “unmet sexual desires” which would be a threat in a church, so they want to marry you off, so they feel secure around their own husbands, who might be attracted to you. That is fleshly thinking.

    In other ways, the married women are not that happy in their marriages, and they are actually jealous of you, because you are still single and attractive. So to destroy that, they want you to me married, and unhappy, like them.

    Life, and people, are strange. In the same way we are to drive defensively with our cars, do the same in church.

    blessings
    marianne

  4. Thank you, Thank you and Thank you once again. I’m a member of a Christian Church here in Ontario California. I’ve been a member since Oct 2003. I have serious issues with men however my Divine Holy Spirit is leading my steps towards healing. On the 14 of January 2009, I attended Bible Study where our Pastor was speaking on the topic of “Getting your heart right”. He stated that there were a lot of strife and unforgivness amongst the saints in the church and requested for all whom felt as though they fell in this category to come down for prayer. Soon after this took place; he close his eyes and waited for the Holy Spirit to revealed more unwanted spirits. True enough he stated “JEZBEL Spirit. We have a Jezbel Spirit in this church so please come down to get prayer”. No one moved. I became very uncomfortable and turned to the man that was sitting behind me and asked “does this include manipulation without having sex”? He stated yes!!! The Pastor was still requesting women to the altar come to the altar and then he stated” I bet no one comes forth”. By this time I proceeded to the front of the church and just stood there. The pastor then looked at me and then looked back at the congregation and said “every woman in this church come down to the altar. He bind the Jazel spirit in every last one of us and then we all proceeded back to are seats. I was so angry when I got home due to I felt as though I really didn’t have a Jezbel spirit. I immediately went to my computer and type in “meaning of Jezbel “. This is when I located your website. I studied and reviewed the information posted and came to grips that I do indeed have this ugly oppressed spirit dwelling within me. I have taught my daughter that you don’t need a man for nothing but three things which I know in my heart was wrong. However I never in a million years would have thought Jezbel. At the age of 40 years of age, I’m still getting healing from the lost of my parents. My father was very abusive since I was born and when I turned 17 years of age my dad shot my mother. Once in the back and twice in the chest. Then he shot himself leaving my brother and me. I do understand how this spirit could have enter, I just want rid of it NOW. Yes I have been praying the prayer that is posted in your website for healing and I thank God for locating you all. However do you suggest any other kind of assistance I should seek? I still have issues with men in relationship. Still healing from PAIN……

    KIM
    Ontario Ca

    • Dear Kim,
      As I can see you´re a very strong woman. Even with all this situation suffered by you, you´ve remained seeking for God. I believe God is going to work hard in you and through you! All the blessings of God upon you in Jesus Name.

  5. I’m single, never-married and I am 40 y/o. While I do plan on getting married eventually, I’ve also experienced the subtle judgement from others in the church. I also happen to be attractive and I get tired of married women acting like I’m a threat or a potential husband-snatcher. Actually, I don’t date much, don’t hang out in clubs or bars, and I try my best to live a Godly life. If I wore anything that was even remotely flattering, I was counselled to tone it down. Believe me, I don’t dress trashy at all. I couldn’t even have a friendly, platonic converstation in church with the married men without the wives feeling threatened. It is very lonely when people treat you like this. I would love to have more friends in church but the married women treat you like a threat. At my age, it’s not always easy to find alot of single people in the church. Also, some of the meanest, nastiest women I know are married.

    • hi stacey

      You are absolutely right. Most church jezebels are married women who resent the unmarried, and pick on them. They also dominate their wimpy husbands, and try to have their own way in the church.

      To top it off, many of them think they are anointed prophetesses of God…and babble off whatever they hear in the gossip (oops “prayer”) discussions.

      Do not let them get you down. Their hate is
      their sin, not yours.

      Continue to lead a pure life, and God will bless you.

  6. Yes, I am divorced..Ive been alone, raising my child, for many years, I’ve been treated like an outcast and leper, more than I’ve been treated like a Child of God. I don’t want anyone’s husband, I would like, however, genuine caring Christian fellowship. Something that seems to be lacking at church’s for the single/divorced woman. They do want your money, like this article says. The last church I was a member of, had women’s meetings in another state. I could not go, they had no childcare, I had no way to get there. It was more like a tight knit, exclusive social club than a woman’s bible study. I never got to go.
    Yes, I get tired of being treated like a leper. THat is why I just stay home now. Maybe I should have just stayed with my abusive, adulterous husband, who also committed bigomy against me, I would have much more respect from the so called Christian community. I have Jesus though, that is all who matters.

    • dear LiberatedEagle,

      I have been through your situation for about 30 years now. I completely understand. I have found most Jezebels in the church are married women, because they need a man to gain status and be successful.

      They then point the finger at the single women, to divert attention away from their own witchcraft. An unmarried jezebel would not last long, without latching on to a man. This is where the married Jezebels get suspicious.

      Since they already know the man is important, they immediately assume that other women are doing the same thing they are, and they condemn the other woman.

      Stay away from churches, unless they have a high percent of divorced, and NOT remarried people.

      Divorce and remarriage is adultery, unless for fornication, as Jesus said. many of the Jezebels in power in the church have also been married more than once. Yet they are given power by the Ahab pastor.

      Keep your money. Your child needs it more than they do.

      • The last home fellowship I tried, one of the women (married) treated me pretty badly. The one before that, the leader’s wife played alot of games…I’m just tired of it. Tired of the games, the lies, the games the lies and the games. Would Jesus approve? no, not at all.

  7. Believe it or not, i’ve had some problems with trying to fellowship online. All the problems are mainly with married women or the spiritual leaders they control. lol.

    • LiberatedEagle

      I cannot speak for every website but my own. If you follow the comments, you may find someone like minded to be a friend to. Just let me know, and I can guess somewhat if it might be a good friendship match.

  8. Im a young single women 26 no children Im very attractive as well but humble…My thing is i have always felt like i was a threat in the church alot of the other women that attend are either Married or in a relationship…and here i am this pretty little single thing I cant even walk in the church without ALL the married or single men staring at me…I cant help that!! Then the wives get jealous..The bible does say that a single women is better off staying single because we dont have all the extra baggage that comes with having a husband and family and we have more time to do gods work. And contrary to belief i honestly think single women are in general happier than married women Yeah they may have the man but we have the freedom.

    • hi nubian

      If you are attractive, the married women are most likely jealous of you. Marriage can bring many problems, and bring a woman down. Many women wish secretly that they could be free, but the social advantages seem to outweigh the oppression they feel.

      For you, I would just be careful to dress modestly, and keep your attention on Jesus. But if they are mean to you, then leave them. You owe them nothing, and do not need them.

  9. very interesting

  10. I am trying to fit in to a church we have been visiting. I’ve noticed alot of shunning by married women already. I don’t want anyone’s husband (someone did that to me)….I had one woman come and sit by me one time and give me an extremely dirty look…and some other things. I noticed she does alot in the church. She has never had a conversation with me. Maybe I should have stayed iwth my ex and I could say “oh, he lives with his other wife” maybe they would treat me better? I dunno.

    • dear Hanna,

      The woman who came and sat by you was a Jezebel. She was looking you over, to see what she could say about you to others. I would go elsewhere.

      church option:
      Either find a huge church, where you get lost in the crowd, and Jezebels have no time for you, or a tiny church, where people seem friendly. But if you encounter Jezebels, you may as well leave, especially if they have you marked.

      private option:
      Find other ways to fellowship. Find christian TV for inspiration. This way, if you see something wrong, you can just change the channel, and not get hurt. Read the bible for yourself, and teach yourself, instead of depending upon a pastor to present ideas. Private time with God. Teach your children what you learn. It is quite a journey. You will find eventually you have outgrown the church environment.

  11. What do you mean, she has me marked? what does that mean, exactly? Isn’t the Lord stronger than that, though? Can’t God deal with them somehow? Prayer changes things.

    • Hi Hanna

      I just meant that she observed you, saw you were a nice person, and identified you as a potential victim. The dirty look she gave you let you know she did not like you. Jezebels do not like nice, sweet people. They get jealous and attack.

      Yes, the Lord can handle her kind. You can pray for her, but it is wise to avoid her. She is trouble.

  12. Oh ok, the look I got seemed more like hate…lol. Yes, I will try to avoid her, no problem doing that.

  13. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I don’t know what churches you women may be going to, but get out and get real! Seek God and find the place that God wants you at. Don’t suffer yourself to be abused, unless of course you know beyond the doubt that’s where God wants you.

    Let’s not forget, the Jezebel spirit is there before one is married. So, if there’s a woman that is married that has a Jezebel spirit, it was there before she got married. How do you think Jezebel got her husband? By using that spirit of manipulation and control, and lets not forget, her beauty (maybe I’ll get back to the beauty part later.). As a matter of fact, it seeks out men like Ahab. Please, it operates and uses anyone who has a desire for control and authority with a lack of submission.
    My experience is this, I’ve seen it in many forms and have had times when I needed to do a checkmate within myself.
    As a wife and Pastor, married to a wonderful Apostle husband, boy we’ve had our share of Jezebel.
    To be honest, I’ve seen it mostly in single and divorced women. (Experienced it with men too.) I’ve seen it tear up marriages but most of those marriages were Ahab men. Most of the women have this desire and need for attention (married women to) and are attracted to authority. Although, they maybe attracted to it, they find it hard to submit to it once married that authoritive person. But that’s the simple, baby stuff. The Spirit of Jezebel is bigger and disguises herself much more carefully than one would think. I’ve see it operate in some of the most seemingly humble, holy, and quite personalities.
    To go around pointing out that a person has a Jezebel spirit without consulting and seeking God, is very dangerous and can do more harm than good. A lot of the time, what has been singled out as Jezebel, is just a person whom has suffered hurt, and abuse in some way, that just needs healing, a lot of it.
    To say it’s better to stay online is wrong, we should not forsake the assembly of the brethren, there’s something very important about physical contact with people that can not be gotten online. Remember, there is no perfect church. Everyone is not going to receive you in a welcoming manner. But, if you are uncomfortable, leave and find the place for you. Even if you have to drive miles to get there, find the place God wants for you. Once found stay there plug in and submit to your leaders. If you have to go through the ridiculousness of immature Christians, then do it. In due season, God will raise you up. God forbid anyone judge according to appearance, everyone has a story, and needs to be delivered from something.
    ……On the other hand, just because some married women may be jealous of your youthful beauty, don’t let that hinder you and don’t mistake jealousy as jezebel. There are a lot of jealous married women in church. They need healing and love, just like the divorced single woman, or the one that’s never been married. A lot of married women are suffering from very unkind, uncaring, unmanly husbands. A lot of them suffer from the disease of lack of self worth and no confidence of who they are in Christ.
    Now here, I am married and suffer from some of the same treatment some of you women have mentioned, and yes I’m a Pastor, but I don’t wear my title on my jacket. So I’ve had my share of experiences among groups of women, and have been unrightly judged in unkindly manners(LOL).
    I sometimes would ask myself, is it the way I dressed, is it because I’m not dressed like I got stuck some where in the ’80s, or maybe it was because I wore some make up? Who knows and who cares?
    Yes, it may hurt a little, but dust yourself off, maybe they just lost their blessing; of having what could have been one of the very best friends they could have ever had.
    Blessing to you all and stay encouraged in Christ, for He knows all our sufferings, and suffered before us.

    • hi Vanessa

      You ended up on the “single jezebel” page. I acknowledge on the introductory page that jezebels can either be married or unmarried.

      Since most divorced women do not attend church, because of the way they are viewed, there are not too many divorced women who are jezebels in the church. However, this does not mean they are not outside the church, doing damage.

      There are also male jezebels, who really can cause trouble.

      The idea is to not judge people by their marital status. Each individual has the potential for holiness, and this should not be stifled.

      I think church can offer social and spiritual benefits to others, as long as people are fairly treated. My personal experience is that churches will immediately label (innocent) middle aged single/divorced women as jezebels, and so, for the most part, church may not be the place for them. The ones that did the name calling were the married women whose husbands were elders in the church.

    • Vanessa, I enjoyed your response. I have been single for almost 40 years and it seems like more and more people in the church don’t know what to make of my staying single. I was reminded again as I read your post that it doesn’t matter what they think!
      And that they are struggling with their own insecurities when they distance themselves from me or judge me or project some misunderstandings about the “Jezebel spirit” on me simply because I am a single woman who finds stregth in the Lord instead of a man.
      I feel very much like I’m living outside the box the church would carve for me and I will trust that it is exactly where God can continue his work in me.
      It’s easy to take that hurt in when you feel rejected and start feeling like God is the one cutting me out of the church when it is really just people not to different from me. After confronting the situation, I’m looking for a new church but not very optimistic anymore that I’ll find a place where I’ll feel accepted. I go with an attitude of worship towards God, but no longer excpect any connection with his people in this context. I do volunteer work and travel a lot, and just made up my mind to look for the church outside the box (institutionalized church). And I am finding it.

      • hi cindy

        Just a word of support from me. I have also been single for 40 years.

        You have a place, and an appointment, in God’s kingdom, just like everyone else.

  14. Well I have been hearing about Jezebel spirit alot and a church sister was praying for me and asked God to rebuke the Jezebel spirit from my life so I came on here today. Cause I am still not sure about this Jezebel spirit.

    I am a single woman I carry myself ok. I speak loud and may sound like I am quarrelling I want to control it and its difficult. is this Jezebel spirit.

    • HI Sim

      Being loud does not make you a jezebel. A Jezebel is a very selfish, dishonest, cruel woman who controls other people. She is a witch. For someone to pray that over you is really an insult, if it is not true. Continue to read on this site about jezebel.

  15. My wife read the book Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit.
    Now we are in a separation heading for a divorce!
    We’ve been married 25 years. After reading this book she became very secluded
    and had violent outburst! She somehow won both of our kids over on her side against me. The night I had to leave the house my wife and both kids were unleashing a violent out burst on me. It was very un-nerving and scarey!
    Felt like I was in the Devil’s House! My wife now has taken me to court on spitful issues that the judge only dis-missed! She is now spreading untruth all over town about me. I’ve never hit or abused my wife or children!! I’ve been faithful to my wife our whole marriage! Now I am in total shock over this serious of events!
    I’ve lost 30 pounds and constantly think about this separation 24/7.
    Note: I was a evangelist early in the marriage but had to quit due to my wife not surporting me. She made it a pure hell to come home at times. Is this jezebel Spirit in my marriage and Wife? Please give me your opition!! Thank you!

    • Dear Mike,

      There is a responsibility for anyone who is discussing this spirit to make sure the reader understands it is wrong and they need to repent. Otherwise, the discussion only makes the spirit manifest. I think John Paul Jackson is a New Age dreamer, and is not the best source of information. But, that is history now.

      What happened is instead of the book making the spirit repulsive to her, it made the spirit attractive to her instead.

      It sounds like some of the text hit a nerve in her somewhere, and she felt neglected and in need of attention. Thus, her behavior changed to compensate for a hidden sense of in jury.

      I cannot say more because I have not read the book.

      You have to stand up to her. get a support group and counter the false claims she is making. You have to be aggressive (in a positive way) with this spirit. You have to take control.

      Try to get the children away from her, if you can.

      You can write back if you want.

      I am putting you on my prayer list.

  16. Hi Marianne,
    I just wanted to point out that what you describe as the reaction to divorced women in the church is also the way women are treated if they are in a bad marriage. It seems that it is entirly up to the wife if a marriage works or not, regardless of what the husband does or does not do. This is a large reason why divorced women do not go to church (or find a new church) – because of the lack of support they received before their broken marriage failed.

    I have a friend who went to her pastor over a year ago because her husband was engaging in several un-christian behaviors that were destroying their marriage. As of today the pastor still has not talked to the husband (he said that he would), and the husband is STILL a vital part of the churches “worship” team. The wife, who is a Bible college graduate and devoted to Christ, has been pushed out of every ministry at the church. This is only one example of this exact behavior that I have witnessed in this Pentecostal church. It seems that the Jezebel Spirit manifests itself in men as well – even ‘men of God’. I know that Christ is weeping over this, just as these women are. I wonder if this would be classified as “spiritual abuse”?

    • hi Shelly

      Definitely….this is spiritual abuse, and the pastor, and the husband have no right to be even in the church, until they repent. This is not righteous leadership.

      The pastor is unfit for service, to allow ungodly people to be leaders in the church.

      He is forgetting that the church belongs to Christ, not him, and he is to abide by standards of holiness and righteousness, not the “good old boys network.”

      The wife needs to get away from that environment.

  17. Hello Sisters and Brothers!!! I just wanted to say thank you for this blog!!! I am first off Saved,Sanctified,and filled with the Holy Ghost!!!! I must say; that JESUS is still the only one and true king in my life!! I have never been married and considered nice looking by both Christians and Non-Christians! I truly believe in tithing and giving offerings because of my love for my GOD! I have been known to give donations to certain boards and all of that! TRUST ME; I have always done these things in secret; because it is a blessing to give and especially when I have gone without myself! Even though these things were done in secret only my wonderful Pastor and a couple of other leaders knew. But now some of the people are even treating me worse than they had in the beginning! My Pastor is truly a prophet of GOD and his wife is a blessing! My problem has been getting rejected even though I am called nice. One of my friends who used to go to our church left because she said; she didn’t like the way that I was being treated! This is an older woman by the way. She even told me that “I know you are saved,because you are sticking it out”! I had to remind her that it’s not about me,but it is about JESUS! The servant is not greater than his LORD. I have tried to reach out and make friends with people @ church but to no avail! I am not talking about being ‘too common’ hanging out @ their houses or anything just maybe go out and eat dinner after church my treat even!!! It’s true, married women usually view ‘single’ women as trying to obtain their man! I don’t want anyone’s husband. In fact; the majority of men in our church are married! We might have about 2-3 single men and that’s it! They are really not my type and we haven’t connceted despite having good conversations. I really feel like I am supposed to be in another area sometime this year if the LORD says the same. This time, I am going to stick with a big church where no one tries to snoop into your business! Lo-Siento about the long post,but I have been crying the last few days needing to make some decisions! GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND STAY ENCOURAGED!!!

    • hi Miss.Love

      Do not feel alone. I have been through the same thing. It is called jealousy and suspicion.

      Somehow, the word gets out about what you have donated, and others resent you, thinking you are trying to “buy” or influence the pastor, or you are out to get him romantically.

      Then the gossip starts, on “who do you think you are, anyhow?” And the reasons you gave from your heart get twisted into bad motives.

      Just prevail. Stay, if you feel led, but be ready to move on.

      Remember, Jesus is your real pastor, not a man, so the church does not really matter.

      • I have only joined one church in over 40 years as a Christian. I seemed secure in this church as a divorced woman though I didn’t bother trying to fit into the women’s group. I tithed and gave offerings faithfully. I communicated with several pastors via email and always asked their advice with decisions. I consider this now a mistake. But ‘all hell broke loose’ shortly after receiving my inheritance. I gave 20% and was devastated at the spiritual attack that ensued. Isolation was done through direct comments said to me from the pulpit, evil eye stares from various members of the leadership and through comments made online watching LIVE services. After 5+ years I still find that I cannot attend any church for very long. I feel the stigma of being divorced (and inferior) even more than during the 1990s. I still give over 10% of my income to God’s work but mostly to non-local outreaches.

  18. Hello Marianne,I’ve visited this forum before, and i took your advice..But i want to comment on what The pastors wife Vanessa said, and i quote..”Everyone is not going to recieve you in a welcoming manner”..We’ll if thats the case why do you think so many single women like myself dont attend church…Im so fed up with going to these evangelical churchs with a great state of mind im always willing and wanting to hear the word of god..But its like as soon as you walk in ALL EYES ARE ON ME..What did i do???These women have NO idea who i am..I even found out my pastors wife ran a background check on me!! Whats the point of that!! In all of her sermons shes allways talking about women in the church and how you need to follow such and such rules to be there…Its just sickening to me..They really need to relax they do everything in their power to lure you into their church and once you get settled in the scrutinize,castrate, and judge you.like your nothing UNTIL your forced to leave….Relax old women I DONT WANT YOUR HUSBAND!

    • dear Nubian

      Do not feel alone. Most single women do not attend church now for the same reasons. Jealous Jezebel women think you are out to get their worthless, wimpy husbands.

      Jesus is your pastor. He will be faithful. You can learn directly from Him.

  19. Hi, my name is Manda. I can certainly understand everyone’s difficulties with this as I too have had the same scenarios happen with me.

    Since I left my abusive husband the counsellor (who isn’t a certified counsellor) at the church I previously attended said I had a Jezebel spirit because I chose to leave my ex-husband and not stay in a volatile situation. My spirit was already crushed due to the years of abuse by my ex-husband and now my spirit was crushed even more. After three years now of being single with my children and becoming very strong spiritually I am attending a small church, serving the Lord and helping in ministry. Yet I still see the same problem starting to surface with others at the church. Many want to pray for reconciliation of me and my ex-husband….how terrible it is that I am alone. Marriage counselling has been suggested numerous times and I’ve been questioned on why I won’t go. I am looked at like I am half a person with nothing to offer. That somehow I must have done something wrong to cause all this, more than likely rebellion of some sort. Then when they find out that I have a strong street ministry with youth that I’ve been involved with for three years I then feel a very strong, jealous spirit. I mean how could God possibly bless this rebellious woman who destroyed and refuses to be with her ex-husband.

    I really pray people would seek God FIRST before they open their mouths condemning another person. They don’t realize the damage they can cause if allowed to continue to do so.

    Blessings to all who have overcame this type of behaviour from others.

  20. Oh yes, I forgot to say…I am contented where I am at with the Lord in my single life serving Him and I am going to continue to do so no matter what these people say. As far as I’m concerned my personal life is none of their business and they are just busy bodies who help themselves to gossip and untruths. I’m not in highschool anymore. Are we not suppose to be mature adults lending each other a helping hand?

    • hi Manda

      The people at your churches are ignorant and do not understand the criteria for a jezebel. You are also encountering the traditional condemnation of a single divorced woman. Status in church is based on sex. You really have to be married to have “power” and acceptance in the church.

      Do not depend on church for approval or support that much. That social structure is set up for intact families, and young people.

      Single parents have it harder in this structure, and there is less support for them.

      Churches who are jealous of someone honoring God with their service are not really worth the allegiance given to them. Consider a change to a more positive environment.

      You are doing a wonderful job, and I encourage you to keep at it. You do have a real pastor named Jesus, so you have the best there is for support. Find other single parents to fellowship with, and this will help you and your kids.

  21. Manda;
    I was married for 12 years, divorced for 14 and remarried to my ex for 6 yrs now. Divorce is more accepted now than it was in the 80′s and 90′s. My husband went up and accepted the Lord at an alter call in 1976 at Calvary Chapel, but he’s never walked with the Lord. I can really relate to what you are sharing. I felt very ostracized and judged back then. I’m glad James Dobson, came out with his book “Tough Love”. Reconcilliation is not for everyone and if you are happy where you are at stay there. Pleasing the Lord is more important. Paul says that.

    I’m at a small church of 176 people and there are a lot of broken homes. I feel very accepted. Some of the Godlist people in the church are in the their second marriages. I don’t understand why things happen the way they do. I started going to a Christian singles fellowship but it wasn’t meant to be. I really believe if God wants you to be with someone he will bring them into your life. I wanted my family to be together, but there is a price that is to be paid when you make that choice. Sometimes I question if it was the right one, except I use everything that happens in my life as a witness of Jesus Christ and circumstances brought me an my ex-husband back together. . Find fellowship where you are accepted just as you are.

  22. Naked buttocks LOL

  23. Well, I have been involved with the church I attend in some way for a few months, and I am experiencing exactly the same thing. I am divorced and easily the most attractive person there. The interesting thing is that with the activity I am involved in, ALL the single people that were involved (male and female) have now left, except for me – perhaps because I am older, and frankly because I enjoy the activity and just don’t care. To be honest I feel that God knows me anyway and operates through me even without my needing to go to church – I am highly creative and feel that I wouldn’t be so creative if God didn’t love me. I have had some open bitchiness and ostracism from other married women but I effectively say (in more polite terms) “ki$$ my a$$” – since there is no-one there that I would remotely want to go out with in any case. Actually, I react by provoking them even more, wearing really flattering/attractive stuff and just being myself. I am not baptized or confirmed and do not receive Communion, but I do count myself a better Christian in principle than some of these fakers. I do have to say I have found a lot of churchgoers to be the least openhearted and most concerned with hierarchy and appearances of all the social groups I mix with. Now that I have acknowledged that I feel much better about the whole situation. So I don’t sweat it, I just cruise through – and there are plenty of other social groups I mix with, so although I contribute to church a lot, it is not the only activity in my life and I would certainly not rely on it for social connections. I do whatever activities I do for it because I want to, I don’t really care about receiving anything back and I almost don’t care whether I do receive anything or not, I do the activities I do because it fulfils me to do so. In a way, this is quite selfish, but I actually think it is a lot less selfish than some of these snobs you mention. Love, Kathi.

    • hi Kathi

      I am glad you are adapting, but since you will never be accepted by the married women, there will always be some trouble and rejection in future activities. Gossip too. Do not provoke them, or this will justify their opinion of you. Your attire should be modest and ladylike. best wishes.

  24. Wow! I felt both angry and both relieved with your article. I do not have any of these self-esteem issues of the divorced woman. I feel complete in my singleness with God. But, that explains why I am being treated this way in the church. Why my children and I are outcasts. Even among my family. But they are complete hypocrites because in my culture over 70% of the households are headed by single women. We make up most of the congregation in the church. So, are all of these households Jezebels? I doubt it. Yes, there are many single woman in my culture and community and very few married women. For the married woman to feel she is more holier or more pure before God is blasphemous. Holy and purity only comes through Jesus. Wow! I feel just great and if a church is going to seek to displace me spirituality than that will not be a church to me at all. Also, if this is the way churches are then I know they do not operate with God’s spirit.

  25. whatdoesitmatter , you are not alone. The proof is from the comments of the single and divorced women here , which are just a tiny fraction, a pin- head sample , of the experiences of single and divorced women who have been treated as lepers by the Church , especially by MARRIED WOMEN , with the support of their husbands and the church hierarchy who disrespect and despise single and divorced women in the Church.
    Divorced and single men fare much better in the church and in the society.
    Yes, I know because who feels it knows it .
    My experience of cruelty and ostracism inside the Church towards single and divorced women like me, has been, to say the least T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E !
    I came into the Church as a very beautiful childless divorcee over 10 years ago , and in the first church I attended, immediately , I started to sense hostility from women in the church and disrespect and ridicule from the men !
    I dress decently and my behaviour is impeccable, but that stopped nothing! There were ridiculously mean attitudes from people in the church towards me and other singles that should be unheared of , any where in the world ! Every church I worshipped in , I met with the same hostile attitudes.
    The common practice in Church , which is supposed to be a place to find love and fellowship , is that married women, pointedly, shun non-married women and look down their noses at them!
    I noticed that married men in the church would answer the greetings of divorced and single women only when their wives were not within ear-shot and when nobody was looking at them!
    Also , married women would glare at you if you dared chat with their husbands , even if you were chatting about church matters !
    At first , I thought I must have done something wrong to deserve such treatment in church of all places, so I sounded the opinions of other singles , divorced and even widowed women ( poor widows!), and they had the same horror experiences in the church as mine!
    So, I stopped greeting both married men AND their wives.
    If and when married men smiled and greeted me in church, I would response , only if their wives were there!
    Married couples did not invite me to any of their parties or homes and I did not invite them to mine either. I cut off all contacts with married couples.
    God has bestowed me with all the five ministerial gifts , but any attempts by me to manifest them by contributing to church work , were swiftly stifled and I was shoved aside and replaced by not-so-anointed married women ; just because they wore their husbands’ rank in church!
    Since the past one year, I have stopped going to church because there is no point being in an atmosphere where I and my anointing are rejected and despised , but where my tithes and offerings are welcome.
    Now, I find joy, fellowship and fulfilment in serving God through on line and TV fellowships and doing charity work in my community and abroad .
    I give my tithes and offerings to any of these that I am led to give them to . Since I took these decisions I am happy and having a wonderful time with my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ , who loves and appreciates me.

    • hi Grace.

      I was reading your testimony, and you have my empathy.

      same experience for me.

      Divorced women are blamed for failed marriages, even if it was the man who was to blame.

      they are considered “hot to trot” and their flesh is considered “unsatified” and on the prowl for a man….they are also considered as not being willing to submit to a man.

      so it is a power and sex issue.

      women who have a man to have sex with are considered pure and under control

      women who do not have a man are considered losers, hopeless, and in lust all the time.

      sick, isn’t it?

      http://hbcdelivers.s439.sureserver.com/the-curse-of-jezebel

      Children reared in this kind of atmosphere will grow up with the same desires to manipulate the lives of those around them. Divorced women many times have strong Jezebel spirits. The same spirit is obviously at work in the lives of many who are not divorced but whose marriages are filled with strife and whose children are full of rebellion.

      People seem to forget that Jezebel in the bible was a married woman, not a divorced one.

      • People who think that single / divorced women are desperate and they come to hunt for men in the Church ; choose to forget that single / divorced women have CHOICES, when it comes to “hunting for men!”. Single/ divorced women do not have to limit their “hunt” ( if any), to men in any church , only!
        In any society, outside the Church, there are lots of single or divorced men who are eligible , very decent and eager to be loved who would love to meet very attractive , “hunting” single and divorced women!
        How can the Church preach the “unequal yoke with unbelievers” to a single woman who has been a victim of bigotry inside the Church?
        Nowadays, there is little difference in the moral values of men in the church and those who do not attend church.
        As for wimpy married men who pretend to be deaf and dumb because they dare not respond to a single woman’s greetings, or be seen talking to a single woman when their wives are present , but they would become very jovially and chatty with single women when their wives are not present ; such men are not worth greeting or talking to.
        If such wimpy men greet me or talk to me in their wives’ ABSENCE, whatever their position in the Church, I would return their insult by refusing to answer them and walk away from them !

  26. After my divorce from an abusive and adulterous man I was excited to return to the church I grew up in. With my little daughter in tow I was certain that my life was about to get better and that my old friends would be welcoming. While I did notice a tad of judgement and questions about my marriage at first, it seemed things were going well and I began to settle back into church life.

    Then I was ask to join the Ensemble which was a hand picked singing group I had participated in my youth. I was placed in my old first soprano role again and began attending practice faithfully. But someone wasn’t happy. The very woman that had been my best friend growing up became jealous. It didn’t take her long to destroy me and my place in the church. And it didn’t take a few more long to join in on the escape-goating.

    Once again I found myself in an abusive situation. This time within the mist of Gods followers. In my confusion I blamed God and stopped going to church. Over the next ten years I remarried badly and became divorced again with another child, search through other belief systems and got into some metaphysical paths, got involved with the party crowd, was almost killed in a car wreck and many more things that all stemmed from my bad decisions and also the churches shunning of me. All the while I was being told what a sinner I was by church goers.

    Looking back now I see why I strayed. I was young. I had been through a hellish ordeal being beaten and used by both husbands, I was poor and I was hurt. And when I came to the church to change my life for the better I was shunned and pushed away like trash. So I turned into trash for a while.

    Now my heart is right with my Lord and the church can’t claim they helped in that. All it would have taken was the women in the church accepting me back. I was a good person who never wanted to hurt a soul. But because of one woman felling threatened and my already fragile state I turned to the dark side for help and support.

    The most important thing I have learned from this is that when you deal with Gods people you will be disappointed from time to time. Evil lurks within the church as with anywhere else. When you try to improve yourself even church people can be vehicles for pain, judgement and shunning. When you deal with God you go straight to the top. Always go straight to the top and don’t waste you time trying to prove yourself to God followers. After all, whether they admit it or not, their just trying to prove them shelves too.

    • and one wonders why there is a “falling away” in the church…..

      many from sin

      the rest get pushed out.

      god bless you, and keep you strong in the knowledge that you are chosen by him, no matter what anyone else thinks.

  27. Sadly, bigotry against divorced and single women exists in many churches.
    It is like racism. People in the church know the discrimination against single women exists in the Church ; but deny its existence on their own turf.
    Such bigotry is widespread in churches ; many Christians and Church leaders are unrepentant about it because they think they are doing God a service by ostracising divorced women.
    When told that divorced and single women were complaining about the way the church treated them, a pastor was heard saying that, ” Well, if they are unhappy about it, good!. They should go and reconcile with their ex-husbands or go and get married . ASAP!” “Two are better than one!”
    Which is like saying , a woman’s acceptance , or non -acceptance in the Church of Jesus Christ is tied to her marital status!
    No sir PASTOR , it is not , should not be so and never will be tied to her marital status.
    Yes , the Bible says “two are better than one” , but the Bible did not say “one is not good”.
    A single or divorced woman has the right to choose to remain single , rather than get hitched to just any husband.
    Of what use and value is anyone’s disregard or disrespect to a woman who has decided to remain single ? No value and no use , whatsoever.
    If she decides to get married , it should be because she DESIRES and NEEDS marriage in her life and not to please anybody or because she wants the “acceptance and respect” of anyone inside or outside the Church!

    • hi natalie

      Actually the bible says that a single woman’s heart is to the Lord, while a married woman’s heart is to please her husband, so the single woman is closer to God. That is why married women are jealous of the single women.

      paul also recommended the single life, he said it had less trouble in it.

  28. If the Church refuses to recognize single or divorced women in their own right , then single women have choices; they would find acceptance and fellowship elsewhere; as thousands of them are doing already and enjoying it.
    I have realised that for a happy and fulfilled life, the divorced or matured single woman must ,first of all , know who and what is not important to her.
    She must learn to shun the company of those who reject and disrespect her.
    Happy is that single woman who has risen to that level where her life and her decisions are not dependent on the respect or acceptance of anybody .
    After all, our Salvation is centred not on any man or woman’s opinions about us ; but our Salvation and Eternity originate from and is centred on Jesus Christ , who loves and accepts us, just as we are. “It is finished!”
    With or without a husband , a believing woman is COMPLETE in Him.

    • the path of holiness is more open to single people who focus on God than married people whose lives are focused on their jobs, careers and family….all they have to do is walk in it.

  29. I found this blog by searching for the topic of Jezebel spirit. I must say I was surprised to read notes from other women who have experienced what I have in the church.. I am a divorced woman, who left a marriage that was emotionally abusive , as it was headed towards physical abuse and adultery had taken place. Until the time comes when God graces me with a Godly man to marry, I will be single. I have two children. I left a mega church because once I was no longer married, my children and I became invisible in the church. I even suggested to one of hte associate pastors that the church outgh to have an outreach ministry for single moms and he looked at me like I spoke blasphemy! They are only interested in intact families, young singles and eldery couples. The were very few single mom led families in that church and those of us that were there were treated like ghosts. I visited other spirit filled churches and felt the same things..unwelcome or just pity. I am not bad because I chose to leave a man who cheated and threatened physical violence to me and my kids. Now I have a very srong call to do mininstry. God is wanting me to step out and share his love with others. I have been doing personal ministry online but am being called to minister in public, speaking about God. I wonder how well I am going to be received with this big “D

    • (sorry, fingers slipped)
      this big “D” for divorce on my forehead! I do know that God knows what he is doing. I pray that the people I am called to serve, accept me and allow me to share my love of God with them, regardless of my current status

    • hi Karla

      Welcome to the club. The churches are rejecting godly people now, especially women, who do not fit their social agenda.

      It would be one thing to say they have nothing for you, but it is another thing to treat you like you have something spiritually wrong with you. All the while, married men are fooling around in the church and holding positions of respect. Do not worry. God sees everything.

      the bible says the woman who is single belongs to the Lord, but the married woman first belongs to her husband, who she has to focus on pleasing.

      you are now free to go deeper with God….he will heal your wounds.

  30. Wow, should I list the Scriptures about God specifically setting apart the orphan and widow, which would mean a fatherless child and woman without a husband. This sounds exactly like the churches in Bristol,CT. I can’t wait for the Real Jesus to come back and get away from these fakes. They are jealous and do not follow the Scriptures and we are better Christians because we know it. More importantly,God knows it, and He is our rewarder and acknowledgment from Him. Whatever, the people feel and shun, is what God has chastised in themselves for their own wrongs.
    I know JESUS LOVes me and hates the hypocrites!!! He says it will be better for them to put a millstone around their necks and be thrown into the river…for it.

  31. Plus, Jesus says in the end times the hearts of many will grow cold, and even those who are lukewarm, He will spit out. It’s because they are jealous that I am homeschooling my son, and gave up everything and now they have to look at their fake lives of getting their nails done or letting Johnny get the guest house when he’s 18, and never really sacrificing to live their lives for CHRIST. We were homeless and I wasted money on a hotel and not one of 5 churches had any place for me to even pay for one child and me………wow, no room at the inn!!! really?????
    Come, Lord Jesus,PLEASE!!!! I hate all the fake hypocrisy, and they act like they don’t want their kids to be friends with my son….oooooogh because we are real Christians. How, do I stay involved to help train my son to be a goldy man in a fake church world, when the world is at least exactly how they are suppose to be, but Christians…the church, not so much. I am training him to not be like that, yet, he will not have any peers who are.

    • dear missy

      Your situation is a heart breaking one, and familiar to me. I went through the same thing, except with 2 children.

      At the time, there was even less available to me.

      Now, there may be some hope, if you can locate others on a social networking site, or find activities in town that might bring you and others together that have similar interests. You might be able to connect with other single parents and have the kids get together.

      If not, just hang in there, and explain to your son what is right, so as he grows, he will meet and select out the best companions for himself.

      I really think Jesus is coming soon, so be encouraged.

  32. That’s why people call the church a cult…they only let themselves in!!! Except, the Church, JESUS, HE came for those who sincerely seek Him, and Need Him, and want to serve Him1<

  33. Of course, not all Christian churches are against unmarried women (be they widowed, divorced or never married). Sure, man Protestant churches might look down their noses, both the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches tend to be churches with longstanding traditions that positively recognize the spiritual gifts of unmarried women (albeit no woman, married or otherwise, is allowed to be a priest.) The early Church is rife with stories of unmarried and formerly married women who became monastics, and some even became saints. Almost too many to print here, but I’d recommend to any single, divorced or widowed women to consider either of those churches for their church home.

  34. Sabrina, yes, God Bless you sister!! You are correct. When I was in the Episcopal church, there was wonderful fellowship, opportunities, and the best priest, this side of Protestants!! Although, many organized religions these days, especially why we have left the Episcopal church, because of heartbreaking, are using nonbiblical practices, which, God had therefore, called us away from.

  35. I experienced a Jezabel like spirit in the Anglican Church in Canada (Episcopal church in the States) It was deep – vicious betraly – lies- back stabbing – We broke bread with them and they lifted their heel against us!

  36. I don’t know if this has anything to do with with this subject but, I was with a man for 7 years and we weren’t married or anything, he was my first, we broke up 9 months ago, because I decided to be closer to the Lord Jesus, and ever since then I know God has delivered, showed, loved me the right way, the love I have always looked for, now my question is, My ex was a believer but didn’t have the same desire as me, now, I have this lust problem, and I still find myself wanting re-unite with him and get some council from my church, is this a dangerous move, but I remember reading the word of god, I cant remember exactly where, but it talks about bride-price, when a man commits adultery with a virgin he has to pay the bride price. I don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to just back with him, I want to help him know God.

    • dear Ornella

      If you want to stay closer to the Lord, you need to read His Word, especially about relationships before and after marriage.

      While you seem unaware of this, I need to tell you, so you do not repeat past mistakes.

      Living with someone you are not married to is a sin. Your boyfriend was not a believer, if he lived in sin with you. It sounds like he had a spirit of lust, and he transferred it to you.

      You can overcome this …just give your heart to Jesus, and rely on him to help you. Find pure things to think about. Learn the bible and listen to beautiful worship music, to help strengthen your spirit. Avoid lust situations, like talk, porn, TV, movies, music…etc.

      Your boyfriend is not interested in paying a bride price. He got you for free for 7 years. Try to focus on your future with Jesus and forget him.

      Make friends at church and find new relationships that will help you.

      • Thank you so much, I knew that deep down I didn’t need him, because I’ve grown since the broke through Christ, I feel like Ive disappointed Christ now, because I text my Ex last night, just messaging about normal stuff, and now I feel like ive given him a foot hold into thinking I still want him, when deep down I know I dont.
        I’m crying right now because I should of waited for God and listen tot the Holy spirit. I know we were just texting, but this is the first time in 9 months, and I feel like I failed God, I want to get over him, but now he can see im talking to him, he thinks that I am going to give him more of me, but I don’t want to and to give the Lord everything of me.
        Maybe I should just change my number all together, so he doesn’t message me, because I know any day he will. but thank you, you have opened my eyes, I am a very vulnerable when it comes to “romance, relationship” stuff like this, and even in my dream the enemy always use this against me.I am thankful to the Lord that he has used you to speak to me like this. I was doing so well, I don’t know what happened, I don’t want to beat myself up for it because I don’t want to give the enemy an a advantage to get to me, but hopefully I will move on from this relationship of my ex, for once and for all.
        Thank you so much darling and may Yah Bless you.

        • Ornella

          Changing your number would be a good idea.

          There are still good men out there who would love you and respect you, and treat you the way Jesus would.

          Give yourself time to heal, then look around for someone better.

          • Hello Marianne.
            I wanted to thank you for your concern over my break-up. Even though this blog was about the Jezebel spirit I read it again and now I understand it better than I had first read it. And thank you so much for the advice you had given me in back in July. It has helped my walk a lot, ive grown alot since then so thank your for taking up your time to reply to all, may the grace of God be with you sister.

  37. I am so happy to say that as a single woman (never married, and I am now 50), I found a church where NONE of this goes on! I am loved and accepted as is, praise the Lord! The Pastor’s wife told me I am an amazing woman…and according to what I am reading here that is unusaul. So, I am super duper thankful for my church, Cascade Chapel in Burlington, Washington!!! There are a few of us single gals, and we are like one big family and so supportive of each other (it’s a small congregation at this point).

    I have seen divorced women end up in horrible second marriages because they are so eager to remarry. Is this what they want? I am waiting on God as to my Boaz or I will remain single if he doesn’t come into my life. But I will not jump into marriage because of over zealous married people who want me to be happy (or is it miserable, I sometimes wonder) as they are. Someone thinks I am under a generational curse because I’m single!!! How absurd! Paul said it’s better to “remain” single as he did…so how can it be a curse?

    Don’t you just want to scream sometimes??? I am not single because I hate men or refuse to be under the authority of one. I am under the authroity of my Pastor, who is a man…and I am under Jesus’ authority, and He is a man (or was on earth). I am under the authority of the man who is owns the prayer site I pray on. I just haven’t heard God tell me any of the men who were interested in me were right for me to marry. I am walking in obedience to God, plain and simple.

    I wonder how many get married just because it’s “the Christian thing to do”? I was raised in the idea that I would be a stay-at-home Mom and homemaker….but now 50 and single, I am not that. We need to get the word out that we are not out of God’s will, and we are not out to steal your husband, and we are not rebellious. At least I never had anyone act as if I wanted to steal their husband. But sometimes I just want to shout: “I’m single, and it’s OK!” I have never been in a sexual relationship, and I believe sex is for marriage only, just as the Bible says…so I am no way looking for a man to secude!!! I wish people would just leave singles alone as far as “When are you going to get married?” and the like…. They ARE NOT helping!!!

    Anyway…God bless all of you for the comments and the eye opening article. I never realized the plight of the single divorced woman to be so difficult. I haven’t seen it much in the churches I have attended, for which I am greatful.

    Enough said…. I get pretty passionate on the subject of singleness.

  38. Having read all the comments here, I have to say that we are told in Scripture not to forsake the assembling of ourselves with other believers…in order to stir each other up to love and good works. That is Bible. So, keep on looking, gals. Do not give up. God led me to the most beautiful, Spirit filled church….

    We had fellowship at the home of a married couple the other night, and the wife encouraged me to come as did most everyone in the congregation. Marrieds and singles, alike, were there and we had so much fun and good fellowship.

    This is a church where the Pastor is secure in his calling and doesn’t allow people to tell him otherwise (such as Jezebel spirits murmuring in his ear). He does not feel threathened or his wife by stuff like this… These are just the most warm, loving accepting people (pastor and others). I hope you all find the same! It was the most awesome blessing to find this church…first one I ventured into when God led me to search for a new church.

    The Presence Of The Lord is the number one thing stressed in this church, and maybe because they desire God’s Presence, above all, they don’t have time for this pettiness. I connected with them because of their passion to be in the Lord’s Presence, because of their desire to seek Him and do as He asks above all.

    The problem in the body of Christ is that people commit idolatry — they make a person (their mate) and marriage their idol. People think they can’t be happy if they are single. So many will say things like “This guy is treating me really bad…but pray I can marry him.” People don’t care if they are miserable; they just want to be married. Someone even told me she would rather be miserable with a man than happy without one! IDOLATRY!

    We are to have no other gods before Him, but marriage is a god in the church. Marriage is people’s fist love, not Jesus. If I tell someone she can divorce because he is unfaithful, I am treated as though I sinned in saying it. They don’t dare utter it or hear it, for then it negates thier “standing” for their marriage. Some are with guys who have had numerous affairs but can’t accept that God might be releasing them from this marriage. Jesus permits divorce in this case, but no-one wants to believe it. I just can’t understand why marriage is peoples god and alter.

    Paul said it’s better to remain single. Do people not read their Bible? I am a happy, fulfilled single…not becuase of anything I “do,” but because I love Jesus and I am secure in His love for me. Jesus is my husband, my all, my everything!!! He is THE BEST!!! Why would I ever expect a human could fulfill me the way Jesus can? Yet, this is what people are expecting from marriage. And, I tell many a single, “Not so! Jesus is supposed to be ‘all that’ to you…not this person you so desperately want.”
    The old saying, “I realized I was happy. But then I was married amd it was too late,” comes to mind.

    People, seek the Lord; get filled with the Spirit; find the love, peace and joy He floods into our lives…Spend time in His Presence on a daily basis. Read His Word. SEEK HIM! The way He satisfies and fulfills me is beyond anything a marriage could ever hope to bring into my life! We are to keep Jesus as our first love; no earthly relationship should replace Him. He is to be on the throne…not a person. I love the Lord SO MUCH, I can’t even begin to explain. Most of us singles are so busy focusing on the Lord (Who else do we have?), we don’t have time to foucs on a man, let alone someone’s husband…at least that’s my personal experience. I go to church to SEEK GOD, not a mate. If I am going for any other reason than to meet with God, then why go? Then, that other agenda is my god and GOD is not my god. And I don’t want any other gods before Him!!! I just want to encourage people to get passionate for the Lord; fall in love with Him all over again and as never before!!! Let him be the center and love of your life, not a marriage partner or prospective marriage partner.

    You have to be confident in Jesus Christ that you are called to be single, and you have to stand your ground that no pushy person is going to talk you into getting married just because they think you should be married. IGNORE this kind of talk! Women are miserable in marriages because they didn’t await God’s choice for them or accept that they were called to be single…and men, too. Be encouarged, singles, God has great plans for you. You can be single minded unto Him, and He will open doors of opportunity for you to minister for him. If Jezeble spirits are pushing you out, don’t dispair. You were not meant to be there ministering there. God has a place for you.

    As you walk as close as possible to Jesus and get more and more intimate with Him, He will be Who you minister wherever you go. This is our goal: to get so close to Him He is just flowing out of our lives to all around us. We are not called to “do” ministry. We are called to be ministers…ministers of Jesus to everyone we come into contact with. I certainly have not gotten that close, but I keep on with constnatly trying to get more intimate, so one day this will be the testimony others have of me — that Jesus is just evident coming out of my life everywhere.

    My Pastor says Jesus is borrowing our bodies…and we are to ask Him “Where’s the body going today?” I pray I can get there! I am still often telling Him my plans for the day rather than waiting on Him to tell me His. I am supposed to see what the Father is doing and do only that…just as Jesus did (why He prayed all night before going out to minister).

    So, if Jesus isn’t telling me to get married, this body is not going to be joined in marriage. That simple.

    As to being in an unequal yoke, yes God meant it. So what if that unsaved man might be nice? (My complaint is some unsaved men are nicer than “Christian” men.) The Word is plain that my husband is to love me as Christ loved the church, and how can he is he is not in love with Jesus and learning how Jesus loves the church? This area is a matter of trust. Do things my way or God’s way? Trust God to bring me a Godly mate or take things into my own hands and disobey just so I can be married? No, we prove our love for Him through obeying Him (if you love me keep my commands). So, no unequal yokes, please, friends.

    Well, I do get wordy, and sorry for that….

    I long have wanted to minister to singles, and here is another outlet to do that. Thanks for the opportunity. Someitmes, this stuff just poors out of me in my passion to express to singles that being single is OK and gives us the greatest opportunity, ever, to be close the Lord in life changing ways. And to say, above all: Please do not rush into marriage and mess up your life. Stay single and be happy with Jesus until He brings that quality, Godly person He has chosen for you!

    • hi JeriRose

      Good comment. Yes, the singles are just as holy in their calling as the married ones are.

      May God bless you in your life and pursuits, and I hope He opens a door for you to minister to singles.

  39. Dear Brethern,

    Receive much greetings in the Lord. We are happy to inform you that through internet we have come to know you and your Church which were so much interested about . After some days, we came together as a the church members and decided to contact you so that we can affiliate with you in spreading the word, and we wish you to come to Kenya to have meetings on matters related to the word of God so that we understand fully. Send us teaching materials if possible. We know God is able for you to extend.

    We are from Kenya in Western Kenya in Kisii region Gucha district. Our group is known as Kenya Christian Group Church which was started 3 years ago. We work among the widows and orphans who do not know what the future hold for them. We have 4 Christian groups within the region. We also keep 18 orphans and needy children at our Center who needs your prayers.

    For this time we do not have much to say but we pray the Lord to open the doors for you to come to Kenya to see us.

    We await your response soon as the Lord allows

    Pastor Zachariah

  40. What about this? I am a single 44 year old woman – never married and have no children. I have been treated and told some of the same things a divorced woman has heard. I’ve been told that I dont know how to keep a house because I dont have a husband and children. Can you imagine how dirty my home is and will probably remain that way unless the Lord sorries for me and He Himself gets tired of hearing it too? I am told I can work late at the office becAuse I dont haVe a family to go home to. Even worse one female cousin told me that all I can breed is DOGS. Why? I have dogs instead of children because I have chosen not to sleep around and get pregnant. The teasing goes on. Any way, guess who has been standing by my side all 44 years – none but my Father. The One who knows how to keep me. He doesnt see me as unworthy or ugly. I am free to be who I am in front of Him. I get dressed up and look pretty if I feel to and when I dont dress up Father God doesnt fall off His Throne.

    • christine,

      sweetheart you are the bride of Christ , not man, and they cannot stand that.

      do let them ruffle you.

      the bible even says that a single woman is focused on the Lord, but the married woman seeks to please her husband.

      you took the higher path.

      they took the common path

      keep on loving the Lord, and let them eat their hearts out.

  41. i also experienced ostracism by so called woman minister. i went to spanish church. this church says the woman not to wear pants. well, i do. a visiting woman minister started shredding me for wearing pants in front of about 7 people in service. she called me sinner and said that she asked a group of boys if they like woman in pants-she said that they said it made a woman look too sexy? i was hurt-permanantely to where i dont go to any church. the pastor followed me outside, because i left crying. he consolled me, but he still allows that so called minister to teach.these two are not married, but live together as husb-wife. im talking about the pastor and his minister who is female, the woman minister dislikes me so much that she is also gossiping about my business to everyone who will listen. i know she is jelous of me-that i have a home and she doesnt,amongst other things. i am trying get over my humiliation, this happened almost 2 years ago. i am a child of God and i know that He does not judge me or look down on me. i am a child of God no matter what. thank you for your story and letting me share my horrifying experience with a so called minister.

    • dear Sharon

      What a hypocrite they are. They are committing fornication and they are more concerned with your pants than repenting of the sin they are in.

      Just brush their dust off your feet and keep walking.

      You have learned how much satan has invaded the churches. It is a horrible shame, to have this bad witness known also to unbelievers, who look and point the finger at how sinful the christians are.

      God has something much, much, much better for you.

      Look forward, not back. Keep going. Your spiritual destiny is one of goodness and blessings. You are wiser now.

  42. I have become more and more alarmed at the growing popularity of dealing with the jezebel spirit. It is not that I do not think there are evil spirits at work but rather there are but we have free will to choose our actions and none of us each day, I believe, do not sin or do something outside of the perfect will of God thus allowing evil influence. Jesus said to one of his disciples get ye behind me Satan after all. I think we all, especially me, have to understand in reality we ALL sin and fall short of the Glory of God and it is the same grace and blood of Jesus that covers someone who commits adultery as to someone who tells a white lie.

    I am not advocating sin but rather trying to show that as believers we can be hypocritical in our dealing with people and often I have noted, but again am open to correction, some people seem more favoured than others in the church even after behaving in the same manner. Often this is because they come from a ‘better family’. I really feel we should look, and this is where I agree with a lot of what is said above, at just why people end up open to attack by the Jezebel spirit which would have become affective at some point and why when it attacks a woman we see that woman as evil and controlling but as soon as it is deemed to be attacking a male leader we see the leader as being under attack and needing defending and support.

    SIsters and brothers we really need to look at our heart. If Jezebel comes in on the back of fear we have to ask ourselves as a body of believers what have we done or not done to protect the woman ( I know it is not always a lady) affected and so what responsibility do we have as a body of believers for the person’s demise? If perfect love casts out fear why do we not take some responsibility for a brother or sister not duly loved from being left open to such attack? We are an army after all?

    We must be careful because each of us because of sin can move in the same area as another. Correction of another is to bring them relief and deliverance because they are in torment and not just to prevent the leadership from being attacked although obviously this is important but the individual is no less important.

    In the world leaders are put at the top and followers underneath. It is not so in the Kingdom. It is with love we must deal with people and if for some reason we do not have the power of the Holy Spirit to bring deliverance to someone then let us not add more to their burden by blaming them. Some people I believe need deliverance which the church of God just is not moving in. I am not blaming anyone, or maybe I am a little as I feel angry about a certain matter in my own circle of believers, what I am saying is we are a team. We are an army. If one is hurting we all are hurting. This name and shame way of dealing is alien to me. Jesus gets along side and loves and sometimes a person needs much more loving than others and doesn’t get it. When they then ask for it, maybe they realise their need, and don’t get it from the ‘church’ they are then labled as demanding. Maybe even they have become angry. I was in a situation like this where I was very angry and God is and has dealt with me over this but it did not make my request wrong and me anymore in need than another it was just maybe others had their needs met?

    We kid ourselves if any of us think we can see clearly on matters and in that grace we need to walk. I have been attacked and been personally influenced in my behaviour by the Jezebel Spirit, I can see that, however we move on and as we are obedient we are delivered.I see others trapped in that behaviour but because others are more comfortable with the way they move in control it is allowed.

    We are here to serve Jesus Christ and Him alone. We love Jesus we serve God and we welcome the Holy Spirit moving through us and comforting us. Pick up thy bed and walk means just that. If there is something in your life that is hindering you then Jesus can free you and then you just need to stand up and walk on. Healing from any form of behviour , thought process, presumption of being right etc sometimes takes years. No one is perfect. Let us love each other as Jesus loved us. He washed his disciples feet. He was whipped til flesh hung off, He was beat black and blue, and He took every sin ….every sin….for us.

    Jesus died to set us free. If a brother or sister is caught in any form of wrong doing then we need to lovingly get alongside. For me I was pondering all thing. That is why I was lead here..Wanted to look into it without going round gossiping and also cos I am no good at confrontation but what comes out for me is if we were all more focussed on worshipping our Jesus daily together in reality. If we were pro-actively caring for those less able or less loved. If we touched the lives of the disabled more regularly and spent time with those who are mentally ill showing unconditional love we would give less of a platform for these spirits because they would be largely driven out. Exposed by love as we all walk on learning how we should live and encouraging each other in it.

    There is a culture of blame which is a great concern and I would just invite people,especially me to examine my own heart, to spend more time learning about and worshipping Jesus so TOGETHER we can make a stand against the enemy.

    FATHER SON AND HOLY SPIRIT WE CONFESS WE ARE NOT PERFECT AND WE LAY OUR LIVES DOWN AFRESH TO YOU. YOUR KINGDOM COME AND YOUR WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN…

    your sister, getting there, Emma

  43. This article helped me to understand the strange behavior from the members of my church. My husband divorced me after 14 years of marriage. While I was in the hospital recuperating fromt he birth of my daughter I got a phone call. I thought it was my brother who likes to play jokes. Quickly I recognize the voice it was my Pastor. He asked me how I was doing and asked me how I felt. Because its a rare occasion to speak with him or set up a couseling session because my husband divorced me while I was seven months. I took the time to share with him the events of my failed marriage and my ordeal at the hospital. Suddenly I heard another voice on the line. His wife butted in and cut the conversation short. I was mortified because I had called her when I was admitted in the hospital three days earlier and asked for her to pray for me and my baby. I thought that the cold shoulder routine was over now that I really needed spiritual guidance because I was now divorced. Later we were evicted from our rented home and I had to move in with my mother who was disabled. My mother constantly fought with my step daughter who would never leave me because we were so close. One day I was at worked and my mother started a fight with her while she was taking her little sister (my new daughter) to daycare on the way to school. My mother snatch my baby from her and pushed her out the house and yelled for her to get out. This is my blood and you are not related to me. My mom was jealous of our relationship because she felt that now that she was ill that I should take care of her to pay her back for having me. She thought that with my step daughter always in the picture I would never take care of her. My mothers pace maker when off and she was rushed to the hospital. She told the whole family that my stepdaughter attacked her and made her have a heart attack. When I refused to take my mothers side she called me from her hospital bed and told me to take my stuff and my bay and get out. To go into a shelter.
    I called the Pastor. I got no replys back. When I attended a womens workshop that Saturday the Pastor and his wife had prayer for each women in the meeting. When it was my turn for prayer the Pastor with his wife told me to forgive my mother and God will heal my baby from the condition she had which was Excema and severe allergies. (Okay I receive that but we are about to be homeless.) I was so hurt that the tears would not stop. My tears were not of forgiveness they were of pain because no one understood the plight I was in.
    Because my daughter was ill a lot and I had to take most of my five week worth of vacation days to take her to the doctor. The job that I held for twenty years was about to be over. The pressure of keeping everything together was hard. I left my job took my retirement and we started ovr in another part of the city. I visited the church once and a while but I can tell that they are just playing a role.
    In short no one from my church cared. Even my long time married girlfriend who I had known for over twenty five years.
    No one called me and when the care call folks called to pray after I shared with them my situation they quickly hung up and never called back.
    I would go on facebook and see the different parties and activities that some of the members were having but my daughters and I were never invited. I finally left three years ago. Sometimes I may see the posts of the church members on facebook and when I try to spark a conversation its never any response although I see the responses they make to each other everyday.

    • alicia

      the pastor is a bad one and so is your mom.

      Sometimes in life, we get bad people in our lives, and we just have to learn to do things without them, and replace them with better people.

      it is sad when it is our family or church, but the devil is everywhere influencing people.

      You cannot control their behavior. they are repsonsible for the bad things they do, not you. You just take care of yourself, and do good things.

      Look for better church and companions. the body of true believers is your real family. we are out here. so do not give up hope.

      also, do not look back to those who do not care. look forward, and find good people who do care.

  44. i can relate to pastor and wife giving you cold shoulder. Your story is horrible and I pray that God be with you and your children. The bible says that the elders of the church are supposed to help when sickness happen. Bible also says to stay away from people who are jeolous and are selfish. The church I went to berated me so i never been back. I was humiliated by pastor concubine for wearing pants,saying i am a sinner and i was to wear a scarf over my head which i never did. She wants me to not succeed and has gossiped of me to people and it got back to me. This person does not belong at pulpit and she herself will be judged as it says in Romans.

  45. Ok…so I read all of the comments and went through an emotional roller coaster of…”that is soo true” ….”so now I have an excuse to not got to church…yahoo!”…”but, my Lord God rescued me from a horrible situation, shouldn’t I honor Him by being around His people…no matter the treatment!”
    Hmmm! Many comments talked about loving the Lord with all their hearts…great!
    I agree with how uncomfortable people can make us feel. I do choose to stay home from church some weekends because I feel too weak …I am tired of being strong in my convictions. So, I stay home and get strong again …then the urgency to worship with God’s people always returns.
    I am learning to put a gentle voice to my concerns. When I am strong, I can even blow off comments…even joke about it.
    I am constantly asking my Lord God what I should do. There times that He says to stay away….times He says to go. Both are good! Times of growing and gaining wisdom.
    Life has turned “left” for many of us. Empathy can only come through experience. If I can encourage someone else on the weekends that I do attend church…fantastic! If I can be a light to unchurched people on the weekends that I am also unchurched…amazing!

    • hi Jamie

      the Lord Jesus told the samaritan woman at the well, that someday people would not worship in a particular location, but in spirit and in truth. this is because we are now the temple of the holy spirit.

      we are also o fellowship with each other. to encourage each other.

      so you can stay home and fellowship or go to church and do it.

      just pick a godly church…..one that avoids error and there is no greed in it if you want to attend one.

  46. I guessed you must be in the USA, because let’s face it: American churches are full of cr*p!

    • jonathan

      do you have anything enlightening or intellectual to say, or is that the best you can do?

      I am not in a american church, but at least americans do not bow down to allah yet and turn their churches into mosques.

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  48. I came across your site, all I can say is you have so accuratly articulated exactly what I have experienced in churches. Wow! it’s painful to go to churches seeking fellowship and people (though friendly at first) then later ignore you and treat you as a parriah. I am divorced, my two children are in college and the youngest is a junior in high school. I’m trying to find a church but the ones here are heavily legalistic or emergent churches.

  49. I have been divorced for over 2 decades and celibate since 2000. I stayed away from the Christian church and ‘really’ backslid’ into New Age for a short time during the 1990s. Then I tried for about 7-8 years to return to the church. Everything in this post was VERY ACCURATE in terms of my experience. Around 2008, after making a sizable donation to my church from my inheritance, ‘all hell broke loose’ ,and I found myself becoming ostracized and isolated. This has gone on now for over 5 years. Rejection from my church was done all through comments from the pulpit and technology (i.e., watching LIVE services online). I’ve not been able to bounce back being quite devastated by the only church I became a member of in over 4 decades as a Christian. I now mostly give tithes and offerings to ministries and outreaches that are non-local. In many ways I am living an even more holy life and perhaps God used this suffering to sanctify me further, but the ‘stigma’ of being divorced seems even BIGGER and I no longer find I can attend any one church for very long.

    • cindy

      I understand perfectly, and wrote this from experience, being on the same path as you.

      all hell broke loose for me when the women, who were jealous and suspicious of me, being the REAL jezebels, were also in charge of the books…..

      I guess they figured I would win the favor of the pastor, so they began to gossip against me.

      I give outside the church now too….to those I know are decent ministries.

      there are too many demons in the church now….it is better than you distance yourself from them and have peace at home.

  50. This article is full of generalizations. As a single woman with a child out if wedlock. I can’t day that I’ve experienced such.

    • dear sherrie

      I am happy to hear this has not happened to you. But it does happen. I hope you continue to experience favor in church environments.

  51. dear friend
    i am very happy to you. my name is Elijah from Kenya grace mercy and peace will be with you from God the father and from the Lord Jesus Christ the son of the father in truth and love. Please for your kindness i request you to join together for our project and spiritual needs. nice day.

    God bless you my friend
    yours
    Elijah O. Ondiba
    P.O BOX 47-40200 Kisii county Kenya

  52. It makes me very sad that so many single people are treated so badly in church. I’ve attended various pentecostal churches over the years and have had similar experiences of rejection and I’m married but my husband is non-christian and doesn’t attend church. So in away I’m viewed in the same way as singles or divorcees in that I attend church alone and don’t fit into a neat family unit. In the past at least 2 pastors’ wives have been unpleasant and ‘snobby’ towards me – obviously they have jealousy problems. I always dress tidily and make an effort to talk to other women but never talk to the men. I live ‘downunder’ and churches in my city are only just getting on their feet because we had several major earthquakes 2-3 years ago. Many churches fell down or had to be pulled down. I’ve come to the point where I’ll go to a large church, stay on the fringes and not get too involved in house groups etc or just watch christian content on-line and do my own thing. Jesus was such a gentleman and would never treat others the way some of these nasty people treat others in church. There are alot of insecure people out there and they take their insecurities out on people who are more mature and kind-hearted. God Bless Single Women!
    Cheers from Jo

    • hi Jo

      Don’t stay where it is uninviting.

      Maybe gather a group of “singles” and start your own fellowship group.

      Look around the church and elsewhere, and find people like you.

      Hang in there.!!!

  53. Hi Marianne
    Thanks for your message of encouragement and I agree with your suggestion of maybe starting my own fellowship group. Yes I’ll hang in there and above all I know that God is faithful and good.
    Jo

  54. To call these people in these “churches” “christians” perpetuates their evil. What did Christ call the Pharisees? To identify these hateful, people as “christian” insults Christ. They are not followers of Christ but of their father who is a liar. Can’t we “man up” and rebuke these behaviors?

    • jean

      I agree. Christ is not in churches that act like this. It would be wonderful to see real men stand up and take charge, but there are too many ahabs supporting the jezebels.

  55. All I can say is that the Truth nor Love are able to attack! We are Truth and God is Love. Jezebel would simply be untrue the same way that a may would be untrue if he sees not the Truth in Love. No need to make it a women thing and continue hatred or false illusions of women. We are all either True by knowing the Holy Spirit or we are still perceiving with our eyes and are not yet able to see the vision of Truth and Love. Remember that Love and Truth do not attack because of their nature. All of this is attacking and cannot be seen as anything else but error.
    Truth and Love do not need anyone to protect them, they only need us to share them with others.
    God Bless everyone including the Jezebels because we are all from one universal mind and claiming other brothers to be Jezebel Spirits is nothing more than seeing an Ego instead of seeing a brother in need!

    • danny

      both men and women can be jezebels….we are NOT from universal mind….believers in God have God’s mind, and jezebels have the mind of satan….it is not ego, it is a demonic spirit.

      • What is the difference between satan and the ego? If it is not true it cannot be of God. Everything of God is Holy which means unified or Oneness and is eternal . Everyone of Gods children are here to find the Truth which God has placed in all of us.

        Sin, guilt and fear has been bombarded upon our brothers and some have not been able to handle it all so well. Loosing themselves into the fear of the Ego or Satans trap.

        Your eyes are only for perceiving and give only a belief at best of being able to trust what you see. Thanks to Jesus we have a vision of the Truth through Christ to follow rather than a belief our own eyes perceive.

        This is the Truth that does not Judge at ALL. Once you Judge you immediately block off the Peace and Love which is our natural state of Being.

        Affinity

        Danny

  56. Never in my entire life have I’ve read an article that portrays so-called church women that are married the only ones worthy because they are married, and that older single women and divorced women are hot to trot and after their men. -What nonsense! What types of churches are these? I’m a divorced woman and remarried. My sponsor who was assigned to me to help me convert from protestant to Catholic was a woman, rest her soul. She and her husband were a great help and very supportive of me. However, I underwent an ecclesiastical divorce through the Catholic Church. For those of you who are single moms or divorced, I say come on over to the first church. I belonged to an African Methodist Church and the pastor who counseled me at the time said I needed to divorce my ex. I will never understand any religion that would want any one to stay in an abusive and adulterous union. These types of unions are detrimental spiritually, mentally and physically. This article sounds more like religious fundamentalist attitudes that are down on women.

    My current husband is Catholic. We married at the grand old age of 56.

  57. I need to make a correction to my reply. I meant ecclesiastical annulment.

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