In Memoriam 16 – To Where You Are

Happy birthday Sweetheart.   Miss you.

Who can say for certain?
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are my forever love
And you are watching over me from up above?

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing?
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me

‘Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are


~ by Marianne on September 10, 2010.

6 Responses to “In Memoriam 16 – To Where You Are”

  1. At work I am unable to view the video. Is it correct to assume this is a child you lost? If so, there is comfort in knowing she is of the age of innocents. It is my belief Christ has prepared a place for you. A place where he will give you this gift back.

    Stay strong. We humans have turned our backs on G-d first. Now, we pay.

  2. You can experience the pain of another when you have gone through it yourself. I know your grief for I experienced it but Yeshua the KING of kings filled that vacuum and made me realize that when I meet HIM face to face, HE will hand me my precious little boy. Have hope Marianne, for every WORD of GOD is a PROMISE to us.

    Isaiah 25:8 – He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people will he remove from all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it.

    Isaiah 26:19 But your dead will live; their bodies will rise. You who dwell in the dust, wake up and shout for joy. Your dew is like the dew of the morning; the earth will give birth to her dead.

    Isaiah 35:10 & 51:11- and the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away

    1 Corinthians 15:54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory”.

    Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

    Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

    Hosea 13:14 “I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death. Where, O death, are your plagues? Where, O grave, is your destruction? “I will have no compassion.

    Be Blessed, Bethany

  3. Correction: You can feel the pain of another when you have gone through it yourself…

    Sorry about that.

  4. God doesn’t let children ‘die.’ He lets them ‘live.’ I know this because I witnessed it in the hospital delivery room on August 5, 1983. Newly born Benjamin (named for Jacob and Rachel’s youngest) was struggling for breath (congenital heart defect). Two messengers from God (angels) stood against the left wall of the room. One was familiar since he had visited me before. The other I did not recognize. Their hearts were as broken as mine. They literally were grieving with me. Suddenly my little Benjamin’s mouth was longer struggling for breath. I desparately turned to the two messengers. They were gone. But his leaving was not without permission. As I lay on the delivery table…knowing the ‘life’ of my newborn was literally teetering on the edge….my heart cried out to God. I begged ‘what are you doing??? He was not planned!!! Why did you give him to us if you planned to snatch him away????’ I was BROKEN. I felt I would not survive the close encounter with what I thought was ‘death.’ In my desparation and distress, God spoke to my mind. With a kind, loving, compassionate male voice..He said, ‘You said you Trust me. Do you or don’t you.’ In my pain I considered His question. I considered the reality of ‘life’. I remembered that ‘it is He who has made us and not we…ourselves.’ I fully remembered that Benjamin belonged to God….and not to his dad and myself. Though my mother’s heart was being crushed, I willingly gave Benjamin back to his Father. I thanked HIm for giving life to Benjamin….and for taking Him back unto Himself. I thanked Him for the blessing of the two He had left with me. So when I turned to the two messengers standing against the wall….and saw they had left…I knew…I KNEW..WITHOUT DOUBT that little Benjamin was NOT dead!!! He had gone with two lovely and precious messengers of the Father… a place more alive than I had capacity to imagine!!! A few months later as I sat beside the tiny grave…with my mother’s heart still broken…but mending….that kind, loving…male voice spoke, again, to my mind, and reminded, “Carolyn, I didn’t let him die. I let him LIVE!’ Think I’m crazy, looney, deranged. Think what you will. But God LIVES!!!! In Him….all ‘innocents’ live. God even showed me, fifteen years before Benjamin was conceived, the event…and a manifestation of the ‘city’ where Benjamin would go to…still wet from birth. But…in His mercy..He did not allow me to know that what I had seen….would be happening to ME! When asked how many children we have…I answer, “Four. Three are with us. One is with the Lord.’ The word ‘dead’ cannot pass my lips. Because Benjamin is not dead. He lives!!! After long months of suffering and healing….I came out of the experience knowing this….that God is WORTHY of my TRUST…that His decisions concerning His children are ALWAYS…MERCIFUL. Why God chose not to leave little Benjamin here, in this ‘death’ which we call ‘life’….with a heart defect and its complications….I don’t know. He was no better than any little precious one to suffer such an affliction. The ONLY answer I have is this. Not many years before Benjamin was conceived, I stood looking out the window as my little son an daughter boarded the school bus. My heart was so full of appreciation for the blessing I had in them. Too, my heart was full of the knowledge of the worldly dangers they faced. I felt so helpless concerning things pertaining to the life and death of the soul. Only God…ONLY God had the power…the control…to bring them safe ‘home.’ My heart dropped to its knees and I prayed as the bus drove away, ‘Father, in your foreknowlege and wisdom…if you look into the future of ANY OF MY CHILDREN and see there….that they will reject you and damn their souls….TAKE THEM WHILE THEY ARE INNOCENT!!! And I MEANT it. I’ve ALWAYS believed in my mothers heart…that when the Father spoke to my mind and said, ‘Carolyn, I didn’t let him DIE…I let him LIVE’……that He was faithful and had answered my prayer.

    Marianne…sooo many mother’s hearts are broken..yet rejoice in the loving mercies of the Father. What I have shared is straight from my heart…with tears falling down my face as I type. The pain is so easily renewed….at the memory of such human loss….a child. So…read and delete if you choose. Just needed to defend the merciful Father in matters of ‘life’ concerning the little ones. I am often grossly misunderstood when I don’t gasp and shriek concerning the ‘innocents’…the little ones who are aborted. Reason being…I KNOW they have been gathered back to the loving heart of the Father…and rightly so. They are His!! They belong to Him….and not to us. Concerning all of the aborted ones…just like Benjamin…the Father is saying, “I didnt’t let them DIE. I let them LIVE.’ Years ago when Jim Bakker headed up PTL…they had a painting commissioned which showed a sad…sad..Christ holding the limp and lifeless body of an aborted child. It broke my heart to see such a distortion of truth concerning ‘life’ and ‘death.’ But I understood that most had not had the learning experience afforded me through my brief encounter with little Benjamin….and His loving Father.

  5. Marianne, I also share your loss and pain, tears roll as I read your beautiful poem…In our humaness we don’t know the reasons why…but in faith we have comfort in knowing God’s ways are beyond our understanding and His ways are for the good of all. May God bless you everyday with the beautiful memories and precious moments of life and hope, knowing you will be united again in the presence of His Holiness…

  6. Marianne;
    What branch of the Military was your son? My dad was army and my mom Navy. I went to four parades in 1991. Bob Hope was on a float in the Hollywood one. There’s actually a You Tube on it. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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