Are you REALLY sorry?


Is an apology good enough for your sins?

True repentance and confession requires information, understanding, sorrow for sins, and acting upon that sorrow.

Most false conversions occur when people do not understand what is required for salvation, and are not instructed properly by the church, when they express interest.

They have no clue what sin really is, what harm and damage they have done, what sorrow for sins really is, and the pulpit message is only about the blessings of God.

Repentance becomes a vague regret of mistakes made in life, yet one is still drawn to the life they led.

The person feels apologetic, although they do not consider themselves a bad person, just someone who could use God’s help in their life to make it better on earth.

It does not take long for them to go back to what they were doing wrong, because they don’t see anything wrong to begin with.

An apology is not enough. A vague regret is not enough.

You have to be sincerely sorrowful, realize the evil in what you have done, and be convicted to never do it again.

You will make an effort to know what sin is, what behaviors are sin, and how to avoid them.

You will do a complete turn around in your life, give your heart to God, obey Him with all your heart, mind, and strength.

It will break your heart to disobey God now. You see the reality of sin as a horror to you, and do not even want to associate with those who live in it.

You will see every act of disobedience as crucifying Christ all over again. You will see your sins nailing Him back to the cross. Out of love, you cannot stand this thought. You could never do this to Him again. Your love for Jesus will rule your actions.

The Holy Spirit will guide you, not your flesh.

Not even negative circumstances, or the threat of death, will make you deny Christ as Savior and Lord, or motivate you to give up and go back to sin.

Self check:

Are you really saved? Be sure you have met these basic requirements. Make sure you have not been deceived into thinking you are saved, when you are not.

Be a true convert to Jesus, not a false one. Take the time to examine your life, and come up to God’s standards for holiness and commitment.

70 Responses to “Are you REALLY sorry?”

  1. […] you REALLY sorry? Is an apology good enough for your sins? Click here for […]

  2. Well said, Marianne. Many looking at Christianity choose to compare themselves with others, and decide they at least measure up to them. We all fall short of the glory of God, and to use that as a measuring stick is folly. It would mean we are depending on our goodness, and not on what Jesus did for us on the cross.

    I admit that my seeing my sin was not very deep at my first coming to Jesus, but in time, He made certain I knew how depraved I was. Fortunately, His grace at my naive early repentance was just the start. DavWms

  3. Hi Marianne,

    Your question is: ‘are you really sorry for your sins?’
    When Nineveh felt sorry for their transgressions they sat in
    I haven’t seen anyone yet in sackcloth and ashes.
    So my answer to your question is:’NO!’

    But I would suggest it a Godly way to repent now …
    Before we are forced to sit in ashes wearing only rags!!

    How great would it be to see a nation, an entire people
    so sorry for their wicked ways
    that they would kneel down in godly repentance in sackloth and ashes!
    How great would it be to see a genuine people of God
    humbling themselves before their Creator!

    I suggest we do this …. while we still have some time.

    • Yes Abigail–we need to truly repent as a nation and especially as followers of the LORD. it is so easy to say sorry, w/out an real change or true hatred of sin. that is what true repentance of sin is, a deep loathing sorrowful hatred toward what offends God.

  4. p.s.

    And a question we should also all ask ourselves in honesty …
    ‘Would you sell the Lord for 30 pieces of silver???’

    • Hey, in regards to “Would you sell the Lord for 30 pices of silver” I know it’s easy for all of us to despise Judas, but we also need to realize that he represents all of us. Each one of our sins as trivial as it might seem did the exact same thing, and unfortunately, we will end up doing it again. Sin is a betrayal of the Lord’s love, it hurts him because it hurts us. Every time we sin we’re forcing him up on that cross because He loves us. Also, we need to remember to rely on him, we have to pray that He helps us to hate sin, and to realize it for what it really is and trust Him to make us truly sorry. Sacred Heart of Jesus, we place all our trust in you. ❤

  5. Or $20.00? What about $40.00? How about $100.00?
    What price is your Savior worth??
    Until we know the answer to this question we do not value Him.

  6. Excellente!

  7. Hi Marianne, i do agree with you and i like your blog about this.

    Am i really sorry for my sins?? i think, sometimes i really sorry with my sins. I’m afraid that Jesus hates me because of my sins, and also He don’t wanna accept me.
    People made me sad and angry, they said:’you’re nothing’, that’s the reason why i always feel that i’m nothing.

    Marianne, my life really hard…

    • Hi Esther,

      A beautiful name. Jesus does not hate you for your sins. He forgives you, if you are sorry. He died to take your punishment for sins, so you would not have to suffer.

      He did this because he loves you. Just trust Him, and he will take care of you.

      You are not “nothing.” You are very precious to Him. You were specially created by God to spend forever in heaven with him. There is a beautiful heaven waiting for you.

      Remember that God make you, not people. His opinion of you is more important than what people say. In your heart, forgive people who are mean.

      They do not have God’s love, and they are unhappy inside. So they hurt others because they have hurt in themselves.

      So just be patient, and trust God for the love you need.

      • Thanks Marianne for your attention, it’s really helpful for me ..
        I will remember that, and i’m waiting your other blog. I’m blessed by your blog, Have a great day dear!!! God Bless 🙂

  8. dear marianne,
    i have been sorry for all my sins and for the future sins that i may commit. I am just human. What is impt is that we sholdn’t make being “just a human” an excuse to commit future sins. Sorry is not enough, as the saying goes..” actions speaks louder than words. ” Sometimes i have this idea of not criticizing other religion but instead concentrate on mine and initiate peace amongst my neighbours irregardless of race and religion and for the rest of humanity to follow thru.


  9. Excellent article, it touches on the subject that should matter to all sincere Christians

  10. God bless you, Esther. I wanna give you a hug and tell you I love you and you are special. People can be very cruel.

  11. This is an excellent guide as to how to be truly sorry for your sins. I believe a person can’t expect to be saved unless he is truly sorry for his sins, both past, present and future. To be truly sorry one must truly love God – the way he expects us to. However, we are all imperfect finite human beings normally incapable of such love and goodness on our own. We have to ask God for his grace and mercy to be able to do this. To be able to love him – as he should be loved and do HIS will. By doing so we are almost guaranteeing a place in heaven for ourselves. It’s a constant struggle though, and we will always be tempted to sin by the flesh and the devil.

    • i agree with you, Jill. i would add, however, that we must look at love as a whole in its context with scripture. remember faith through grace alone with genuine repentance can give one eternal life. you said, “I believe a person can’t expect to be saved unless he is truly sorry for his sins, both past, present and future. To be truly sorry one must truly love God – the way he expects us to”. none of us will truly love him the way we are suspose to-that will take all of eternity. that would be saying that humans have the same capcity to love that God does and we know that wouldn’t be correct. true love of God that you mentioned is agape love and these are actions(note 1 corinthians 13:4-7) not feelings like the world thinks true love is. we know this would have to be a true statment b/c death bed conversions and the thief on the cross that got saved would all be in hell, b/c they never would have had a chance to ACT OUT God’s agape, but only show the worlds version of phileo and eros love in the greek. you can also note John 21:15-17 when Jesus was basically asking Peter if he apaped Him. even though Peter, said “yes, you know I love you,” he was really saying yes LORD you know i ‘phileo love’ you but not ‘agape love’. thats why Jesus asked him 3x b/c Peter was not getting it. so i would just say that according to the Word, a genuine repentant heart and faith in God aone in what he did through God the Son on the cross is the only way. to go a little further on that, personally, i have been working on my love walk in agape for 10 years, but the closer i get to Christ, the more the lack of love in my life seems to show in the brightness of his glory in all areas of my walk. b/c although true agape is attainable in all things, the odds of any saint truly reaching its full potential is slim to none in our fallen states. it will take me all eternity to try and grasp, let alone show it and do it the way God expects us to, but i never stop striving for perfection. i say since he is endless, we will never understand that love, but it will be very exhillerating growing in it throughout eternity. now it is true that in the book of James it says, “you say you have faith, great, I show you my faith by works,” which basically is proof positive to other christians that one is a genuine christian, but again as my point goes earlier, doesn’t mean that one can’t be saved without agape in their life, b/c we would have no conversion of the thief on the cross and millions of other “death beds”.

  12. This is a beautiful song sung by Andrew Johnston

  13. Latin English
    Pie Jesu
    Qui tollis peccata mundi
    Dona eis requiem
    Agnus Dei
    Dona eis requiem sempiternam
    Merciful Jesus
    Who takes away the sins of the world
    Grant them rest
    Lamb of God
    Grant them everlasting rest

  14. Correction: Actually I should have said it was a hymn not song.

  15. my entire life ive been set apart, ive seen other times other places the future, the past. seen things in color that were filmed in black and white. been plagued by the spiritual relhm. A pastor from south africa, Henkey i think his name was henny henkey, said he saw a powerful calling in me, but said that it was not yet his place to aid me. i am not a normal human, i know that much, not spiritually any it possible that i am a forsaken?

    • hi dante

      I do not think most people are “normal.” Do not feel forsaken if you feel you are different somehow. We are each unique beings. We each have something special to offer.

      It sounds like you have a creative imagination (seeing colors when others see black and white), and maybe you have an artistic gift to develop.

      Do not worry about what others say. just go with what is inside of you, and let it be expressed.

      • No, i know this sounds abit out there but i rember the rebellion, the fall, when the two thirds were cast out. i wasnt on the side of the majority (in fact i recall removing baal myself with help), but was later sent to protect humans from them. i recall the race of giants that sprang from me, or what was me at the time. my wings were stripped from me an i was told that sence i enjoy the flesh so much that i was to stay in it until the final trumpet sounds…then i would be judged on all my lives as with the rest of the humans. i recall 6 different lives,but i know there are more. i pray often, but feel as if noone is listening to me. i repent, but im not sure that it does any good. i know how this must sound, but i beleive these words written, and it scares the crap out of me, that i may not get to go back home because i screwed up once. im just not sure.

        • dante sweetheart

          Do you think you are a fallen angel? Where do these memories come from? Are you sure about them, or are they dreams?

          My thoughts are that you should never give up hope.

  16. I’m scared that when I die I’m going to hell,because I act so awful sometimes! I have alot of anger in me,I can’t seem to stop cussing so much & I sometime’s think & say horrible thing’s I regret later,and i’m afraid of what God think’s of me.I fear I’ve let Him down so many time’s.And a christian should definately not be this way!Iv’e prayed Sooo many times about help stopping with these issues but I keep on,.when I was a teenager I prayed to recieve Jesus,alng with the speaker praying & telling us how to pray to be saved,but didn’t really notice any major change.So I really hope my name is in the book of Life! sometimes I think I maybe need to have a near death experience or deliverance from a church,,or something to make me change my way’s,cause this anger I carry around is like a disease,& will destroy me,and I know God doesn’t want us that way.Is it the holy spirit speaking or angels when you pray & ask question’s,and a Bible verse pop’s into your mind? for instance,once I prayed saying”God,with all these different religions in the world and everyone is sure their’s is the true one.How can we know wich is the righ one?” and John 14:6 popped in there.That most definately must be my answer.And I love when that happen’’s a rare & beautiful thing.I guess iv’e kinda fallen away,and I’m ashamed.For a while 2 mormon missionarries wer’e visiting wth me,teaching me their belief’s and trying to convert me & asking if I wanna be baptized into their church,but it just seemed wrong to me,& iv’e already been baptized.I could not agree with their belief’s,and sometime’s in their church teenager’s would get up on stage announcing to the audience”I know this church is true & blah blah…”they wer’e absoutely convinced.Almost done,don’t worry! sorry to write a short novel here..once while the mormon’s wer’e studying with me one of them said”oh yeah there’s alot of mistake’s in the Bible(don’t know how they know that!) and they alway’s said they use the k.j.v. because it’s the one translated fewest times thruout history.and I said well if you think there’s mistake’s in the Bible then there’s probably some in the book of mormon too,and he said(all smart-aleky)”not really).Oooh dthat made me mad.I felt like saying,”o.k. getout!”

    • hi Emily

      True salvation is sincere repentance for your sins, turning away from them with all your strength, accepting forgiveness, and trusting in Jesus for what you cannot do.

      It sounds like you are on the right path with repentance. You need to just follow through with the rest of it. Jesus will help you.

      Since your anger is a troublesome issue with you, try to find someone trustworthy, and wise to talk to. Get to the root of your problem.

      Usually, it is due to childhood disappointments or frustrations, and can end up in more unhappy experiences as adults, which make things worse. You have to learn to forgive the past, because the past is over.

      Those who hurt you have gone on with their lives, and they feel fine and happy, while you are just punishing and hurting yourself by holding onto the anger.

    • Emily
      You were right to doubt the Mormon missionaries, In fact, the way you stated it above, It is the Holy Spirit that leads you away from them and their teachings. It is the Holy Spirit which made you feel uneasy about them. You show repentence in saying that you are letting God down. Know this though, It is not God that leaves us, it is we who walk away from God when we live our lives with us in control. Submit to the will of God, Trust that he will lead you Through the Holy Spirit by his grace, And God will work his perfect work in you. In other words, stop trying to be Holy, and allow God to make you Holy. Leave your burden at the cross, and trust in the fact that Jesus has forgiven your sins already, and start living for him.
      Forgiving others, then becomes a matter of looking at how Jesus forgives us.

      • Dru, I appreciate & agree with what you are saying about trusting God to make us holy. I have been a Christian for 17 years & have tried so hard to do the right things & live right only to find out that I’m still trying to control everything in my life. I feel frustrated a lot of the time especially with people. I came across this website a few days ago when I was crying out to God to help me surrender my will/control to Him & to come under my husbands authority as well as two other leaders that I believe God has asked me to. I wanted to read this article about truly being sorry as I feel I’m rebellious. In my heart I really want to please God but I still want what I want. I feel so bad about it as I know it displeases God but I still haven’t broken. It’s not anything bad, it’s just I’m strong willed & stubborn & am having a hard time giving up. I know on the other side of all of this is everything & more than I dreamed of, thought of or imagined. I’ve been told by a prophetic friend that I don’t have Jezebel but that she’s all around me & is doing everything to influence me. I feel so much anger & pressure rise up in me on a daily basis & am not sure how else to fight (myself really). I started praying the prayer against witchcraft & have noticed a difference at night. I also have started taking authority over the spirits of Jezebel/Ahab during the day but when my husband is around I feel frustrated & hatred toward him. He says I’m constantly pushing him away & it’s true. I know I should be thankful for him & I am sometimes but most of the time I’m annoyed. I’m so scared if I don’t change that I will lose him for good as well as disappoint God. He’s a good man, I think it’s just the evil I’m battling with that hates him. Please pray for me. I’m so scared as to what God will allow in my life to break me. I’m like a black wild stallion that wants God but wants it’s own way.

    • The Holy Spirit is the one giving you the scripture 🙂

      John 14:26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

      John 15:26 “When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me.

      John 16:13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

      And the fact that you feel guilty over your cussing and anger is the Holy Spirit convicting you….that is good!! 🙂

      We are human Emily. That is why we need Jesus and the Holy Spirit! 🙂 That is why G-d sent His son and why His son gives us His Holy Spirit 🙂

  17. Thankyou all for your wise,& helpful advise.I’m so glad I stumbled upon this very interesting website,with so many different topic’s.I could stay up all night reading if not careful!

  18. What about handicapped people,with mental retardation,or autism..etc… that don’t understand about religion & accepting Jesus,cause of their condition..Do you think they would automatically inherit Heaven cause they are innocent & their mind’s aren’t the same?? I hope so.just wondering

    • G-d will have mercy on whom he will have mercy. G-d is not evil. The innocent have nothing to fear. It’s folks like us who should fear G-d’s rightious anger.

      I think we are seeing a lot of it in the storms, and earthquakes these past few years.

    • Emily

      God knows how people are born, and their afflictions. He would not hold them accountable for actions they did not understand. They are like children, and lack understanding. These people are protected by God.

    • Hey Emily,

      Without a doubt, G-d has His hand on these “children” no matter how old they are!

      I believe with all my heart that they are blessed to “see” their angels.

      I have a son with Autism and he would often stare and laugh at “someone” that I obviously could not see. It was amazing to watch.

      The scriptures talk about the angels of these children being the only angels who can see the face of G-d! Think about that statement! This is how much these “children” mean to Him!

      Matthew 18:10″See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.

      I feel very blessed to have a son with Autism! And tho it may be odd for me as a mom to say this, but I have peace knowing that he is sealed and I don’t have to worry for him 🙂

  19. someone said — are you sorry for your sins or sorry you got caught ?

  20. “That the Holy Ghost comes to dwell with us in water baptism and salvation, and then dwells in us in a more intimate way in fire baptism, in which we receive special ministry gifts to serve God in humility.”

    What happens if a person misuses the gift God gave them to serve in humility? Does this mean that He will take it back from the person? I wish I knew about this website earlier…

    • Also…if someone (like me) receives spiritual gifts and gets baptized into a cult and backslides does that mean God will take away these gifts and His spirit?

      • You may or may not be able to use your gifts if you are in sin.

        God’s calling is, however, permanent.

        If gifts are not working, then repent of the sins, and get back on track.

        God forgives and restores.

  21. Dear Mariana, l feel I can relate to a lot of people here. The Holy Spirit has been telling me of late that I just need to trust Jesus and turn my will over to Him and he will direct my paths. I have had a negative complaining spirit for most of my life and am fearful esp with my addiction to food that I am going to hell. I really like the pray of protection. I also feel I have a lot of unresolved issues and feel That I am not as forgiving as I think I am. Jesus has given me so many miracles in my life, He has been so good to me, yet l feel I am always doing the things that displease Him. Wondering if you can help me see things in a different light. Thank You so much.

    • dear marlene

      I think you are seeing things clearly enough. Most people complain when they feel like there is no emotional support for them, and they are left alone to carry the burden they have. Hence, the eating problem, where you drown your sorrows because there is no one to talk to.

      Read the bible each day, find some psalms that speak to you and pray them. Find inspirational movies to watch, with christian themes, and find some friends you can rely on for emotional support. Between input from friends and what you read in the bible, you should be making better decisions….

      whether it is online or in your geographical area, there are people like you looking for friends….so do search…and don’t give up so easily… will eventually find others who are great, wonderful, and glad to be your friend.

      You will be more forgiving when you are happier.

  22. Hi Marianne and all the above commenters,

    I came across this article and I want to reassure you that if you believe in the Lord Jesus and His sacrifice for your sins, you are saved. That is the only basis for salvation, and anything to do with needing to feel sorry is not found anywhere in the Bible – please read this excellent article, complete with Bible references:

    I understand that sometimes that almost seems too simple and we assume there must be a catch or other hidden conditions, but there aren’t any, praise the Lord!

    Repentance is still necessary for receiving the fullness of God’s blessings and to live the life you were truly meant for, but not for salvation itself – and repentance does not mean you have to feel bad, though “godly sorrow” (2 Cor 7:10) can help you turn away from destructive sin.


    • matt

      repentance IS required for salvation…..that is what both john the baptist and jesus taught…..

      you cannot live a sin filled life and be saved.

      • just to clarify something I worded incorrectly – repentance is necessary, where the definition of repentance is turning from unbelief to belief in Jesus’s sacrifice for all of our sin on the cross. Turning away from our sin is so important in our walk with God, and being sorry helps us to turn towards God, but those things in themselves do not save us – the above articles from myself and Marianne confirm this. But as the Bible tells us, this is not an excuse to keep sinning, and the Holy Spirit does help us to turn things around. Turning from our sin is where blessing lies, and will help protect us from ourselves in our walk with God.

        Hopefully I explained myself a bit better this time 🙂

  23. This past summer I began to question my faith. I questioned whether or not it was strong enough or good enough because I saw people who had Jesus and I didn’t feel the same way. I don’t want to sound melodramatic but I felt really down. I thought I was going to hell because I didn’t believe in Jesus hard enough. This way of thinking has continued and go on for so long and I cried out to God asking to feel him in my heart and forgive me. Then I had a thought that maybe I didn’t really feel sorry for my past, because I hadn’t done anything truly horrible, but I know that is wrong, I know I have committed sin. Now I keep saying I’m sorry and I think I mean it but I don’t want be one of those people who Jesus says, “Depart from me, I never knew you.” I’m just so scared that I’m not being sincere and I have beaten myself so much up about it and I’m tired of hating myself and just beating myself up, but I don’t want to stop short of Jesus. I want the suffering to end but I feel like I can’t stop fighting for him because I’m not sincere. Help! I’m so twisted up about this that I don’t even know my the conviction of my own feelings

    • chloe

      I think you are TOO sorry, and cannot forgive yourself, while others are not sorry enough.

      you are burdened down with worry and doubt…..let it go.

      put it all in the arms of Jesus, and let him love you, and let yourself RECEIVE his forgiveness….which has been there all along.

      • Thank you for telling me this. The past few days I have felt less guilty about my sins and therefore I felt as if I wasn’t truly sorry for them. I kept trying to be more and more sincere each time I talked to God, but now I realize that even God is not that hard on me. Thank you for setting me straight. I’m also beginning to think that maybe God wanted me to go through this so I could seek the truth and have absolute certainty in the Bible. He doesn’t want me to worry and you are proof of that. Thank you for being a light in my life. God was definitely talking about you in Matthew 5:16. Thank you and God Bless!

        • chloe

          you will be ok….jesus loved you and died so that you could be forgiven.

          accept the forgiveness and you accept his love.

          love is 2 way.

          he loves you and forgives you… you love him back and accept his forgiveness.

          • I will. I understand that and I will go after Jesus with all my heart. I know he is already there and I just need to embrace him. Thank you

  24. I do get to a point where I feel good about myself and thought I was sorry but the next time I’m faced with the same situation I fall again and repeat. How do I stop repeating my sins once and for all?

    • gaylynn

      what you need is the holy spirit actively working in your life. he quietly transforms us. with him, we lose the desire to repeat a sin. we cannot stand the sin, we hate it.

      for example, if I were in the habit of telling lies, he would show me what it is like to be lied about, allow me to be hurt by the very sin I practice, help me feel the harm, repelling me away from it. he would also show me what my lying did to my victims. he would expose the sin for what it is, and expose it in me, where I am ashamed and remorseful if I repeat it

      Spend time with God, ask him to have the holy spirit work in your life to remove this desire to do whatever you are doing….this is a daily practice, not occasional. Jesus died for the forgiveness of sins, and then he said he would send the holy spirit to minister to us afterwards. this is the grace of god in action.

      so rely on God for his grace, associate only with those who are godly people, if you are surrounded by bad characters, then isolate yourself. spend more time in the Word of God, reading every day, praying the psalms if you don’t know how to pray, listen to only godly music and praise god every day. if you watch TV, turn off anything offensive to god, where sin is in the story, and watch only decent programs, which to us would be G rated.

      god has a lot available to us, but we also have to make some effort ourselves and cooperate with god to achieve the righ results.

      hope this helps.

  25. I was a false believer before because I never felt sorrow for sinning and sometimes I still have trouble feeling guilty about some habitual sins. I start to hate myself for certain sins and I regret them and take care to not commit them again but mostly because I’m afraid of my punishment and sometimes because I just feel bad. I want to be sorry, I want to be a true Christian but sometimes I feel pike ive done terrible things. My main motive should be love for Christ but I know that fear is what’s pushing me to him more than anything and I don’t want that because I want to be saved. I want to be sorry, I want to truly love him, I don’t want to follow him out of fear because I know that I will not truly be saved if I only receive him because I’m afraid of hell. This has been struggling me for most of my life. How to I truly repent, how do truly love him. Am I just paranoid?

  26. Stop saying sorry and change, right?

    I wish I had the way to ask you for help but please pray for me. Me and my family have been living in a cheap motel for a year now which is more horrible than it might seem, and they don’t deserve this. I stumbled upon your blog and am impressed by your writing style and the inspiration behind your thoughts and messages.

    God blesses.

    • frank

      I am so sorry to hear of your circumstances. i really hope you can get out of that situation.

      I have been in cheap motels, and they really were awful…rotten carpet that made my feet turn black due to mold, mice in the walls, roaches, bad smell, creepy people…etc

      I assume you are working or you would not be able to pay for the motel….I pray that something better comes for you…

  27. well, Im about 7 years late here, but maybe God will bless me with a response from you. Anyway, I have some questions…

    I was “saved” as a 6 year old, and my mother claims I was too. But that is a downright lie. I don’t believe hardly any children that young could truly get it. But that is besides the point. Because of that, I was deceived all my life up until now (I’m 16). I thought I was saved until I began to doubt maybe 2 years ago in fear and ultimately come to the conclusion this year I am not saved at all. It’s terrifying. But I’ve come to this upon realising just how fake I am. I don’t long for purity, I just try to follow some rules! I’m not sorry for my sins, I just beg for forgiveness in fear of hell! I’m not made new, I’m faking it. I don’t hate my sin, I just have a small tinge of “feeling sorry” on occasions if Im not overwhelmed by condemnation and fear!

    The problem is, I can’t figure out how to be truly saved… The bible says I must believe, and I THINK and HOPE I truly do. I don’t even know my heart… But yet, I have no fruit of the spirit or evidence of being born again! I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong, why God hasn’t replaced my heart… But it also says REPENT and as I’m getting that wrong because my heart has false motives, I feel like I can’t truly repent and change. It would all be in my own power because simply put, the Lord hasn’t GIVEN it to me!

    I’m so frustrated I feel like I can’t be saved. I cry and cry over it because even in my beggin it still seems God won’t help me soften my heart and become genuine. What shouldbI do to change this? If God makes the change what can I do? Its so so difficult and scary. I’m worn out. Why won’t God save me as I’m calling upon his name in such fear? Why won’t he grant me a heart transplant to know him?

    • nate

      your problem stems from not really knowing god. to know him is to love him.

      if you hurt someone you really loved, you would really be sorry….this is because you know them and love them and can see their pain..they MEAN something to you…..the love makes the repentance easy and also sincere….you are really sorry you hurt them..and you do not want it to happen again.

      if you loved god the same way, then repentance and salvation would come easy also..because you would really FEEL this.

      you have to learn to love him like you would anyone……read and listen to his thoughts, spend time with him, talk to him and share your own thought as well…this is called prayer

      get your nose in the bible and start reading it…start with new testament, then the psalms, and prophets…then read the whole old testament….god’s rules for living are there…for now, you can skip the complicated parts and this genealogy etc. …let the words speak to you…and ask the holy spirit to help you get that heart transplant you want.

      also look around at the evil in the world….this will make you appreciate how good god is…

      when reading you will find god expressing his feelings also. you will see him get angry or hurt when Israel sins and rebels….identify with him.

      this is a process, and a journey…but you will be on the right path…

      be patient…relationships take time..if they are worth anything.

      • Hi, my name is Logan.

        I’m 24, and I’m in the exact same situation as Nate right now. He is right, it is a very hopeless feeling place and I don’t think anyone ever talks about it. For one, most people aren’t honest enough to admit they are there. Second, those of us who are made to feel ashamed for being here and for not understanding.

        I have watched more videos, and read more articles and sermons about repentance in the last couple of months than one can imagine…and when it is all over, I am in the same position as Nate. It’s like getting gut punched; and feeling isolated from God and Christ by your own wretched heart and motives…and He’s the only one who can help you fix it.

        I want to thank you, Mariana, for giving such a practical response that one can actually be proactive about; while hoping for God’s help. I actually believe what you suggested is true.

        I am insecure though, because while I want to follow your advice here…I worry that God still won’t help us. All things work for the good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).

        If Nate and I don’t know God (according to your analysis, which I would agree with), and therefore do not love him…then why would he want anything to work for our Good? I want to believe that God loves me, and is with me while I seek him, and that he will help purify my motives for coming to him…but I oftentimes feel alone in my wretchedness.

        The very thing that only he can help me with (through Christ), is the very thing that is keeping me isolated from him. I feel stuck within myself where I cannot even reach out to the only one who can help me.

        Why would he help a wretch like me get to know him when I cannot escape my evil self-preserving motives for coming to him in the first place?

        • logan

          god goes by what is in your heart, not what is in your brain.

          the desire for god is there in the heart

          do not worry

          god loves you and does enough loving for both you and him

          just seek god in your life, read and learn the bible ( a life long task), and pray each day

          you will be ok

  28. I am honestly not sure sometimes. I agree with the bulk of your message here and it makes me wonder if I have ever truly repented or just thought I did. We can perhaps truly have repented but then the enemy usually tries right away to get us to do something that was in accordance with our old way of life, so he can use it to accuse and say `See, you never REALLY repented, you are just the same as before“ using accusation to drag us all the way back to where we once were, if we have no good instruction on what that`s about and how to deal with it. He can BURY someone under so much accusation that they fall away back into sin too.

    I guess what I am saying is that in a case like that, it can look as if one is a false convert who never really repented, but it can also be a case of a beleaguered Christian under attack by the evil one, in the battle described by Paul where he did the evil he did not want to do, and not the good he did want to do, whilst their fellow Christians stand around and make judgements because they have no sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and do not think to inquire of God. Not at all meaning to suggest this is you, I think you article is very good and has many valid points on what true Christianity should look like. Trust me, I`ve witnessed this many times, even amongst charismatic Christians. No one asks `God this looks pretty bad in that person`s life but what is true; please give me your opinion so I do not misjudge by appearances; what would you have me do or pray regarding that person? How many times have you ever been in a meeting where various problems, issues or courses of probable action were being discussed, and heard anyone say `Shouldn`t we inquire of the Lord first?

    I would be interested if you could suggest a means by which one could evaluate whether its a situation where one has truly repented and been born again but the evil one is on a seed stealing mission by trying to entrap the person in a sin, and has managed to gain some ground, or when its the actual false convert situation you`ve mentioned here. Thank you 🙂

    • rex

      I think the main sign of true repentance is a turn around in the person’s thinking and behavior, and a strong desire to do better. this does not mean that the person will be perfect from then on.

      he may make many mistakes, but each time, there is regret and the thought that he has sinned and is sorry.

      when we get closer to the lord, we start thinking of how we have grieved him by sin, ie he think of HIS feelings and heart, and not just our own. if we focus on just ourselves, then we have not gotten to the right place in god yet, and we need to work on achieving that.

  29. i don’t think i can come to true repentance. This whole time i have had worldly sorrow rather than godly sorrow. i feel as if my heart is so calloused to the point to where God is not going to save me. i have chose to sin many times and i have recently read about what a reprobate mind is and the Scriptures like Hebrews 6:4-6, Hebrews 10:26-31, 2 Peter 2:21, and Romans 1:28 and i believe that because of my choices that to ask Jesus to forgive me is to have Him be crucified again and to put Him at an open shame.

    i used to think that because i am still alive that i still have a chance but maybe God wants me to know that it is too late for me so i can live with the fact that i chose such insignificant pleasures, continued in iniquity and sin. I feel as if i cannot be sorry for my sins because i am such an abominable person. i am like the dog that runs back to its own vomit.

    i am scared to pray or try to speak to God because i believe that my words and tears are empty and there is no way you can come to Jesus with empty tears and empty words. that is disrespect to Him.

    There’s even a part of me that wishes that God does not exist so that i can feel comfortable with the fact that i will not go to hell. How HORRIBLE IS THAT?! i try to suppress that thought and tell it to go away but i believe that that is truly my hearts desire.

    i want God’s conviction and Holy Spirit. i am not sure that i have ever been saved. i have been baptized 3 times and the 3rd time i believed that God told me to do it so i jumped in the water and it was an amazing feeling, but then after a while i went back to sexual sins (i have a sexual, lustful demon in me from a generational curse i believe).

    i don’t even know if i actually spoke in tongues from The Holy Spirit, but i’m scared to say that because i DO NOT want to blaspheme The Holy Spirit.

    People have been telling me the fact that i want to be saved and that i am worried about my salvation that it is not too late and i am not a reprobate, but what if it is too late for me? What if i am like Esau when he repented? i can’t just simply repent just so i don’t end up in hell.

    Has anyone ever been through what i am going through?

    Also, i want to warn people: DO NOT CONTINUE IN INIQUITY! It will lead you to your doom and you will receive a punishment far worse than those who were ignorant of Jesus!

    • bryanna

      I think you are so discouraged you cannot tell what you feel. god looks at the heart, and he sees you struggling in bondage.

      you have said enough to me to indicate you WANT to be sin free, and bondage free…so salvation is not “too late” for you.. you may be already saved, but stuck in bondage..

      you need deliverance

      I think you need support on I am suggesting 2 parts

      – prayer on your part, and I will keep you in prayer

      – get support from a local pastor and church….”church of god” recommended

      I am attaching some prayers for deliverance from all sorts of spirits. you can pray the whole thing, or just the parts that fit you.

      also a salvation prayer

      and a prayer for strength, and encouragement

      say daily

      I will agree with you in prayer

      remember to get local help

      god is with you… not give up…you will be ok….. life is hard, but you can make it

  30. Hi. I thought I was saved a year ago. But since then I’ve had horrible doubts. At that time I knew nothing of the Bible and had just started attending church and heard people talking about salvation so of course I thought it was important I’m pretty sure I’ve never been convicted of my sins. I’m worried I never will be. What should I do? I know I can’t really do anything but wait but I’m so worried

    • amber

      this is easy to clear up and get certainty about your salvation.

      you came into the church ignorant and should have been pastored and taught from there, to help you build your faith, and to be sure about the sin aspect.

      I am sending you a list of sins, to help define for you what sin is.

      if you realize how bad sin is, and see your sin on the list, just be sorry for it, and do not do it again

      then say the salvation prayer to confirm the choice to reject your sins, be sorry, and accept jesus as your savior

      if you are not sorry for your sins, then you are not ready, and may need to talk to a pastor about what is blocking you

  31. This is awesome

  32. Hi I’m sorry for my sins but I’m not sure if I’m sorry enough. I still feel drawn by sin although I rarely commit it and don’t feel devastated by it. I’m not sure I am really saved. I’ve asked God to help me feel sorry for my sins and to see the sins for the evil they really are so as not feel tempted to do them again. Yesterday I felt grateful for what Jesus has done for me but it didn’t make me want to change my life.

    I have religious OCD and feel terrified I am going to hell and never sure if I’ve repented genuinely enough. I’m always worried I’m not up to God’s standards. I do want to know God and I do want him in charge of my life although I struggle with having to give up selfishness.

    What can I do to get truly saved and become a new creation? I have prayed and prayed for God to make me truly deeply sorry to see sin for the evil it is, to enjoy serving others and see to hand my life over to him

    • hannah

      while for many , salvation is an emotional response and feelings are attached to it.

      but for others it is a mental commitment to stop a sinful lifestyle, and avoid situations where sin is possible. there is an awareness that sin is evil and the mind rejects this evil.

      salvation does require an emotional drama….it just requires the commitment.

      of course, we all fall back at times due to human weakness, so god just says to repent, and mean it, and renew our commitment. if we do this, we are forgiven. god allows us to be weak, so we can realize we need to depend on him to make it through.

      god looks at the heart and the efforts….if you are sincere, and trying, you are forgiven and you are still saved.

      you are saved… are so concerned over failures it shows you CARE

      if you were not saved, you would not care and sin more

      just do your best. that is all god asks.

      I had a friend who struggled with drugs. he loved god, but failed many times….I am sure he is in heaven now…he CARED and he TRIED

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