Eunuch from Birth

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Can this be a blessing, and not a curse?

Physical level – concepts

Definition of eunuch:

1:  a castrated man placed in charge of a harem or employed as a chamberlain in a palace

2:  a man or boy deprived of the testes or external genitals

3:  one that lacks virility or power (libido)

Seen as an abnormal condition:

Loss of sexual desire, known in medical terms as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), is the most common form of sexual dysfunction among women of all ages

In men, it is called erectile dysfunction.

What Is Low Sexual Desire?

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/when-a-mans-sex-drive-is-too-low

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-sexual-desire-in-women

When a woman experiences a significant decrease in interest in sex that is having an effect on her life and is causing distress, then it’s considered a problem of low sexual desire or HSDD.

Kingsberg says that sexual desire is more than just an issue of low libido or sex drive. She says sexual drive is the biological component of desire, which is reflected as spontaneous sexual interest including sexual thoughts, erotic fantasies, and daydreams.

Common causes for a loss of sexual desire and drive in women include:

Interpersonal relationship issues. Partner performance problems, lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship, the birth of a child, and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire.

Sociocultural influences. Job stress, peer pressure, and media images of sexuality can negatively influence sexual desire.

Low testosterone. Testosterone affects sexual drive in both men and women. Testosterone levels peak in women’s mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause, when they drop dramatically.

Medical problems: Mental illnesses such as depression, or medical conditions, such as endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid disorders, impact a woman’s sexual drive both mentally and physically.

Medications: Certain antidepressants (including the new generation of SSRIs), blood pressure lowering drugs, and oral contraceptives can lower sexual drive in many ways, such as decreasing available testosterone levels or affecting blood flow.

Age. Blood levels of androgens fall continuously in women as they age.

The cause of lifelong/generalized HSDD is unknown.

In the case of acquired/generalized low sexual desire, possible causes include various medical/health problems, psychiatric problems, low levels of testosterone or high levels of prolactin.

As with men, various medical problems, psychiatric problems (such as mood disorders), or increased amounts of prolactin can cause HSDD. Other hormones are believed to be involved as well. Additionally, factors such as relationship problems or stress are believed to be possible causes of reduced sexual desire in women.[9] A

Hyperprolactinaemia, or excess serum prolactin, is associated with hypoestrogenism, anovulatory infertility, oligomenorrhoea, amenorrhoea, unexpected lactation, and loss of libido in women, and erectile dysfunction and loss of libido in men.[48]

Inhibited Sexual Desire

http://www.healthline.com/health/inhibited-sexual-desire#Overview1

Inhibited sexual desire (ISD) is a medical condition with only one symptom: low sexual desire.

A person with ISD seldom, if ever, engages in sexual activities.

He or she does not initiate or respond to a partner’s sexual overtures. This condition is also called hypoactive sexual desire disorder, sexual aversion, or sexual apathy.

ISD is one of the most common problems couples face today.

ISD can be seen as either a primary or a secondary condition. For treatment purposes, this is an important distinction.

Primary: The person with ISD has never had sexual desire.

Secondary: The person with ISD began a relationship with normal sexual desire, but later became disinterested.

Contributing Factors

ISD is often an intimacy issue. Common relationship factors that can reduce sexual desire include:

conflicts

toxic communications

controlling attitudes

contempt or criticism

defensiveness

breach of trust (infidelity)

lack of emotional connection

spending too little time alone

People who are most at risk of developing ISD have experienced trauma (incest, rape, or sexual abuse), or were taught negative attitudes about sex by their families while growing up.

There are many medical and psychological factors that can also hamper sexual desire, including:

painful intercourse

erectile dysfunction (impotence)

delayed ejaculation (inability to ejaculate during intercourse)

negative thinking patterns (fear of intimacy, anger, dependency, or feelings of rejection)

pregnancy and breast feeding

mental health problems (depression, anxiety, low self esteem)

stress

use/overuse of alcohol and street drugs

chronic illness

pain and fatigue

side effects of medicines (especially antidepressants and anti-seizure drugs)

hormonal changes

low testosterone (in both women and men)

menopause

Sexual Anorexia Defined

Sexual anorexia is having little or no desire for sexual contact. Anorexia means “interrupted appetite.”

People who have sexual anorexia actively avoid, fear or dread sexual intimacy. Inhibited sexual desire, sexual avoidance, and sexual aversion are phrases that describe the same condition.

Sexual anorexia can include problems such as impotence in men, but often there is no physical cause. Both men and women can suffer from sexual anorexia.

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/what-sexual-anorexia

Symptoms

The main symptom of sexual anorexia is a lack of sexual desire or interest. A person with sexual anorexia may also show fear and anger when the subject of sex comes up. Slovenian physician Dr. Sanja Rozman explained at the 2011 Global Addiction Conference that someone with sexual anorexia can become obsessed with avoiding sex to the point that it “dominates one’s life.”

Causes

Both physical and emotional problems can lead to sexual anorexia in some people.

Physical causes can include:

hormone imbalances

recent childbirth

breastfeeding

medication use

exhaustion

Common emotional causes of sexual anorexia are:

sexual abuse and rape

negative attitude toward sex

strict religious upbringing in relation to sex

communication problems

power struggles with a partner or loved one

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While some physical forms of sexual disinterest may indicate a pathology due to physical or emotional reasons, is there another side to this issue?

The bible seems to commend the single life as holy:

Jesus:

For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others–and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." Matthew 19:12

Paul

32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33 But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

36 But if any man think that he behaves himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sins not: let them marry.

37 Nevertheless he that stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

38 So then he that gives her in marriage doeth well; but he that gives her not in marriage doeth better.

39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

King James Version (KJV)

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Now, how could a person be called to a single life, if they are battling with unmet sexual desires?

They could, if by an act of grace, God decreased their desire so they could focus on Him, instead of the desires of the world and flesh.

In this case, loss of libido would be a gift, to enable holiness as a single person.

The loss of libido would be considered a pathology to a secular, unbelieving word, but to God, it is normal and acceptable, and makes sense.

The life- long single person is not mentally ill either, at least not to God.

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God’s grace is sufficient

Singleness, the state of spiritual eunuch, can be a gift from God.

Grace from God enables this state.

The person can focus on holiness full time.

Marriage is also holy, but it is done as a couple, not as a single person.

Problems life long singles face:

Church

The church tends to judge the single person, treating them as if they are somehow lacking because they have no partner.

I have had one friend be told that she was unmarried because she lacked holiness to attract a good partner. This was an insult.

Older single people are overlooked when planning events at church.

Most church activities revolve around the family structure, with the only acceptable singles being in their teens, or early 20s.

When most evangelical churches are so family-oriented, a woman (especially past the age of 35) simply no longer fits in if she does not have a husband and/or children.

Church can be the loneliest, least supportive place in the world for a person living life as a virgin life out of obedience.

For the most part, no one in most churches is able to relate to that single life experience, which only magnifies the isolation and loneliness that many older lifelong singles live in.

Churches will tolerate a single man better than a single woman, who is sometimes viewed as a “loose woman,” or a “loser.” The man is just considered “available.”

Single men may minister, but single women ministering is not encouraged, or ignored if they try.

Women may minister if they have a husband. Restrictions on single women are suffocating.

Some people are married first in life, then become single once their spouse dies or leaves.

There is a spiritual or physical change after the spouse dies, and a loss of sexual desire to accompany that change.

So, although they are not born with low desire, they accept this change as they enter a new path in life.

As the bible says, they make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of God.

Or, as they age, hormones change, and enable this person to remain single.

The single person gets hit from different directions:

1. The world sees them as having a psychological or physical problem that has to be fixed, since having sex is required to be “normal.” Potential partners pressure them into sex to be accepted, then criticize them if they do not perform correctly, or with the desired level of interest. Therapists assign abnormal medical diagnosis to them to label them and make them feel inadequate.

2. The church seems them also as deficient or a threat. Life long singles do not fit in. Many times single people over a certain age get labeled as jezebels, looking to rob members of their spouses. They forget that the original Jezebel was married, not single.

3. The commercial media is there to sell them a pill to fix them in their “problem.”

4. The movie industry promotes mating and finding a partner of some sort, in marriage or just in a promiscuous relationship. Hollywood tell us what is acceptable and what is not.

Being single in a world that “mates” is a very lonely position to be in.

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Life long singles are in good company

Jesus was single.

One could say he was a spiritual eunuch from birth.

Most of the apostles were single, at least at the time Jesus was here.

(Peter must have been eventually married, as Mark, in 1 Peter 5:15, is noted to be his son.)

Mary, mother of Jesus, appeared at the foot of the cross without Joseph, suggesting that Joseph had died by then. She was now a single widow.

Many people today find themselves alone in life, either to divorce, or death of spouse, or it has always been that way for them.

Most people desire a partnership with someone.

But, just because this is the norm, it does not mean the choice to remain single is abnormal in some pathological way.

Remaining single and holy would require a low libido.

I cannot imagine a single virgin with raging hormones and sexual desires looking for fulfillment.

The person would spend too much energy trying to get themselves under control.

So, whether someone is a “eunuch from birth (physical or spiritual),” or eunuch as a result of life time changes, or choices, they should be treated as normal, because they are fulfilling God’s plan for their lives.

They are on their own path of holiness.

They do not need mental health therapy or drugs.

They do not need a medical diagnosis of ISD (inhibited sexual desire), asexual, HSDD (low sexual desire), ED ( erectile dysfunction), sexual anorexia, etc. This type of diagnosis is reserved for those WITH the desire, but DO want a relationship.

They do not need mistreatment by the church, people interested in partnering with them, or the medical profession.

They do not need discrimination at work or in social circles either, as “unattached losers.”

They need respect for who and what they are.

They have ALL their time to spend on God’s kingdom, if they go in the ministry direction.

So God bless them, as well as anyone married, who pursues this path of spreading the gospel.

 


13 Responses to “Eunuch from Birth”

  1. It’s sad that society can not take an individual as an individual, instead of that “one” having to fit in with the “whole.” Instead of spinsters, old maids, or eligible bachelors, that one has chosen their status in life, or, perhaps are in transition (which is a state in itself) or finds oneself in a position not of choice but of circumstance.

    We should celebrate our life stages or choices instead of vilifying them.

    • I think the problem we see is that the majority rules…if you are not part of it, then you are abnormal..

      there are lots of single people now who do not fit in

      • My understanding, there are more singles now who choose to be. As far as church acceptance of this status, well really what does a church really support, a rummage or bake sale perhaps?
        Know this is sarcastic; point, we must rely on God’s acceptance alone; the personal judgments of our circumstances & obedience do not involve others’ faulty judgment, especially among believers.

        Jesus never fit in, that is encouraging.

        • yes we have a choice…tradition dictates we all get married and have children…if we don’t, then we have failed somehow…

          but this should not be so….the single life has its rewards also, benefits, challenges, and contributions to society , as well as to god’s kingdom

  2. It will be 5 years ago the 10th of this January – My wife had a stroke. And at 62 it was not in my family planning. I have been faithful to my wife and we have had no sexual relationship for the last 5 years. It was very, very hard to except. But finally God just Takes over. And I’m glad He does. Cause I would not have made it without Him. But it gets a little better all the time.. But I must always keep myself from spirits of seduction as we all have to even in regular marriage’s. This world makes it very easy to sin sexually. But we can survive and I must say having a clean conscious helps my faith a whole lot more than I thought. And I do not flirt with no one or give my attention to long to any kind of lust. Yet their is plenty of temptations without looking for it. They just present their selves at any second. But God is my refuge and my strength.

    I thought I would doomed in the first 6 months . Yet when I look into my wife’s eyes I love her and she is me and i am her. We are one. And God has blessed us. Also being a caregiver is a really hard job. But Gods Grace is greater than my flesh. I actually do feel more holier than I use to. And I’m always believing my wife is going to get better. Which she has. We been married 49 years. I would feel like a louse and a big time sinner to do anything to hurt my wife. And I really, really do give all the credit to my Lord and Savior. I heard at one time in life. That sex is to powerful for most men and women. But that is this generation of thought. I thought that at one time in my life. But it was a lie. Your flesh man has to bow down to God even without a sexual life. Keeping the faith and being full of joy is a wonderful life. My wife is an angel to me period. And she keeps me going – faith that worketh by Love – her love for me and my love for her. Still satisfies us without sex. And I also know God is pleased with us. What a mighty God we serve.

    I hope this confession of mine will help someone. To never give up. Cause the Lord is watching over our lives. He will help you even if He has to Carry you. Which He has me many a time. Depression is easy to lean on. Feeling sorry for yourself will not help you Overcome either. I tortured myself for a long time and I blamed myself even. I said I should have known that she was in that bad of shape. Just tell the truth to your God and He will be their for you. And when you think you cannot do it. God takes over. Somehow He does it.

    Never give up hope. Bro. Tom

    • Thank you for sharing your life Tom. I am blessed to know you have true intimacy in your marriage union, in sickness & health.
      Our spiritual walk is personal, yet we all have accountability in which nothing will be hidden.

    • tom

      that was beautiful… you have something most people can only hope for and dream about

    • “To never give up. Cause the Lord is watching over our lives. He will help you even if He has to Carry you. Which He has me many a time.”

      Tom, I am reminded time and time again, by others’ stories, and by my own, of that poem, “Footprints in the Sand” where the person saw only one set of prints and thought that God had abandoned them, when in fact, it was when the Lord was carrying them that they saw only one set of footprints.

      I have a small sign by my door that I see every time I leave the house, and it simply says, “If God seems far away . . . who moved?”

  3. Yes, we have a choice & as stated sometimes we don’t. Many have wed, reared children become widowed or divorced, have become outcasts within church.

    I feel for young people who want to marry, cannot find honest people with spiritual convictions, so they sell themselves short & compromise for worldly standards, getting into a union which changes their single status & not for the better.

  4. Islam is the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the God except through Islam.

    For God so loved the world, that he gave Islam, that whoever believes in Islam should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send Islam into the world to condemn the world, but in order that world might be saved though it. Whoever believes in Islam is not condemned but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the message of God.

    Ameen!

    • that is real cute hamza

      you know jesus said that about himself….

      so

      do you believer that jesus came to save the world, and that no one comes to the Father God except through Jesus?

  5. I recently have been going through menopause, I found for several months that I had zero desire for sex, in fact it seemed almost repulsive tome. Problem was, I am married, and my husband did not share this lack of desire. For the sake of my marriage and to be obedient to 1 Corinthians 7:5, and also to help with other symptoms such as hot flashes and imsomnia, I got bio identical hormone therapy. It has been a big help. But as for me, I would have been OK without sex, but avoidance of it was impacting the marriage.

    • amber

      this is hard what you say, when people cannot accept changes that naturally come with life as we age. it is a natural process, not a medical problem. I hope the hormone therapy is a comfortable one with you. as in anything “medical,” there can be side effects.

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