Eunuch from Birth

–

Can this be a blessing, and not a curse?

–

Physical level – concepts

Definition of eunuch:

1:  a castrated man placed in charge of a harem or employed as a chamberlain in a palace

2:  a man or boy deprived of the testes or external genitals

3:  one that lacks virility or power (libido)

–

Seen as an abnormal condition:

Loss of sexual desire, known in medical terms as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), is the most common form of sexual dysfunction among women of all ages

In men, it is called erectile dysfunction.

–

What Is Low Sexual Desire?

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/when-a-mans-sex-drive-is-too-low

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-sexual-desire-in-women

When a woman experiences a significant decrease in interest in sex that is having an effect on her life and is causing distress, then it’s considered a problem of low sexual desire or HSDD.

Kingsberg says that sexual desire is more than just an issue of low libido or sex drive. She says sexual drive is the biological component of desire, which is reflected as spontaneous sexual interest including sexual thoughts, erotic fantasies, and daydreams.

Common causes for a loss of sexual desire and drive in women include:

Interpersonal relationship issues. Partner performance problems, lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship, the birth of a child, and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire.

Sociocultural influences. Job stress, peer pressure, and media images of sexuality can negatively influence sexual desire.

Low testosterone. Testosterone affects sexual drive in both men and women. Testosterone levels peak in women’s mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause, when they drop dramatically.

Medical problems: Mental illnesses such as depression, or medical conditions, such as endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid disorders, impact a woman’s sexual drive both mentally and physically.

Medications: Certain antidepressants (including the new generation of SSRIs), blood pressure lowering drugs, and oral contraceptives can lower sexual drive in many ways, such as decreasing available testosterone levels or affecting blood flow.

Age. Blood levels of androgens fall continuously in women as they age.

The cause of lifelong/generalized HSDD is unknown.

In the case of acquired/generalized low sexual desire, possible causes include various medical/health problems, psychiatric problems, low levels of testosterone or high levels of prolactin.

As with men, various medical problems, psychiatric problems (such as mood disorders), or increased amounts of prolactin can cause HSDD. Other hormones are believed to be involved as well. Additionally, factors such as relationship problems or stress are believed to be possible causes of reduced sexual desire in women.[9] A

Hyperprolactinaemia, or excess serum prolactin, is associated with hypoestrogenism, anovulatory infertility, oligomenorrhoea, amenorrhoea, unexpected lactation, and loss of libido in women, and erectile dysfunction and loss of libido in men.[48]

–

Inhibited Sexual Desire

http://www.healthline.com/health/inhibited-sexual-desire#Overview1

Inhibited sexual desire (ISD) is a medical condition with only one symptom: low sexual desire.

A person with ISD seldom, if ever, engages in sexual activities.

He or she does not initiate or respond to a partner’s sexual overtures. This condition is also called hypoactive sexual desire disorder, sexual aversion, or sexual apathy.

ISD is one of the most common problems couples face today.

ISD can be seen as either a primary or a secondary condition. For treatment purposes, this is an important distinction.

Primary: The person with ISD has never had sexual desire.

Secondary: The person with ISD began a relationship with normal sexual desire, but later became disinterested.

Contributing Factors

ISD is often an intimacy issue. Common relationship factors that can reduce sexual desire include:

conflicts

toxic communications

controlling attitudes

contempt or criticism

defensiveness

breach of trust (infidelity)

lack of emotional connection

spending too little time alone

People who are most at risk of developing ISD have experienced trauma (incest, rape, or sexual abuse), or were taught negative attitudes about sex by their families while growing up.

There are many medical and psychological factors that can also hamper sexual desire, including:

painful intercourse

erectile dysfunction (impotence)

delayed ejaculation (inability to ejaculate during intercourse)

negative thinking patterns (fear of intimacy, anger, dependency, or feelings of rejection)

pregnancy and breast feeding

mental health problems (depression, anxiety, low self esteem)

stress

use/overuse of alcohol and street drugs

chronic illness

pain and fatigue

side effects of medicines (especially antidepressants and anti-seizure drugs)

hormonal changes

low testosterone (in both women and men)

menopause

–

Sexual Anorexia Defined

Sexual anorexia is having little or no desire for sexual contact. Anorexia means “interrupted appetite.”

People who have sexual anorexia actively avoid, fear or dread sexual intimacy. Inhibited sexual desire, sexual avoidance, and sexual aversion are phrases that describe the same condition.

Sexual anorexia can include problems such as impotence in men, but often there is no physical cause. Both men and women can suffer from sexual anorexia.

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/what-sexual-anorexia

Symptoms

The main symptom of sexual anorexia is a lack of sexual desire or interest. A person with sexual anorexia may also show fear and anger when the subject of sex comes up. Slovenian physician Dr. Sanja Rozman explained at the 2011 Global Addiction Conference that someone with sexual anorexia can become obsessed with avoiding sex to the point that it “dominates one’s life.”

Causes

Both physical and emotional problems can lead to sexual anorexia in some people.

Physical causes can include:

hormone imbalances

recent childbirth

breastfeeding

medication use

exhaustion

Common emotional causes of sexual anorexia are:

sexual abuse and rape

negative attitude toward sex

strict religious upbringing in relation to sex

communication problems

power struggles with a partner or loved one

–

–

While some physical forms of sexual disinterest may indicate a pathology due to physical or emotional reasons, is there another side to this issue?

The bible seems to commend the single life as holy:

Jesus:

For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others–and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." Matthew 19:12

Paul

32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. 36 But if any man think that he behaves himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sins not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that gives her in marriage doeth well; but he that gives her not in marriage doeth better. 39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God. King James Version (KJV)

–

–

Now, how could a person be called to a single life, if they are battling with unmet sexual desires?

They could, if by an act of grace, God decreased their desire so they could focus on Him, instead of the desires of the world and flesh.

In this case, loss of libido would be a gift, to enable holiness as a single person.

The loss of libido would be considered a pathology to a secular, unbelieving word, but to God, it is normal and acceptable, and makes sense.

The life- long single person is not mentally ill either, at least not to God.

–

God’s grace is sufficient

Singleness, the state of spiritual eunuch, can be a gift from God.

Grace from God enables this state.

The person can focus on holiness full time.

Marriage is also holy, but it is done as a couple, not as a single person.

–

Problems life long singles face:

Church

The church tends to judge the single person, treating them as if they are somehow lacking because they have no partner.

I have had one friend be told that she was unmarried because she lacked holiness to attract a good partner. This was an insult.

Older single people are overlooked when planning events at church.

Most church activities revolve around the family structure, with the only acceptable singles being in their teens, or early 20s.

–

When most evangelical churches are so family-oriented, a woman (especially past the age of 35) simply no longer fits in if she does not have a husband and/or children.

Church can be the loneliest, least supportive place in the world for a person living life as a virgin life out of obedience.

For the most part, no one in most churches is able to relate to that single life experience, which only magnifies the isolation and loneliness that many older lifelong singles live in.

–

Churches will tolerate a single man better than a single woman, who is sometimes viewed as a “loose woman,” or a “loser.” The man is just considered “available.”

Single men may minister, but single women ministering is not encouraged, or ignored if they try.

Women may minister if they have a husband. Restrictions on single women are suffocating.

–

Some people are married first in life, then become single once their spouse dies or leaves.

There is a spiritual or physical change after the spouse dies, and a loss of sexual desire to accompany that change.

So, although they are not born with low desire, they accept this change as they enter a new path in life.

–

As the bible says, they make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of God.

Or, as they age, hormones change, and enable this person to remain single.

–

The single person gets hit from different directions:

1. The world sees them as having a psychological or physical problem that has to be fixed, since having sex is required to be “normal.” Potential partners pressure them into sex to be accepted, then criticize them if they do not perform correctly, or with the desired level of interest. Therapists assign abnormal medical diagnosis to them to label them and make them feel inadequate.

2. The church seems them also as deficient or a threat. Life long singles do not fit in. Many times single people over a certain age get labeled as jezebels, looking to rob members of their spouses. They forget that the original Jezebel was married, not single.

3. The commercial media is there to sell them a pill to fix them in their “problem.”

4. The movie industry promotes mating and finding a partner of some sort, in marriage or just in a promiscuous relationship. Hollywood tell us what is acceptable and what is not.

–

Being single in a world that “mates” is a very lonely position to be in.

–

–

Life long singles are in good company

Jesus was single.

One could say he was a spiritual eunuch from birth.

Most of the apostles were single, at least at the time Jesus was here.

(Peter must have been eventually married, as Mark, in 1 Peter 5:15, is noted to be his son.)

Mary, mother of Jesus, appeared at the foot of the cross without Joseph, suggesting that Joseph had died by then. She was now a single widow.

–

Many people today find themselves alone in life, either to divorce, or death of spouse, or it has always been that way for them.

–

Most people desire a partnership with someone.

But, just because this is the norm, it does not mean the choice to remain single is abnormal in some pathological way.

–

Remaining single and holy would require a low libido.

I cannot imagine a single virgin with raging hormones and sexual desires looking for fulfillment.

The person would spend too much energy trying to get themselves under control.

–

So, whether someone is a “eunuch from birth (physical or spiritual),” or eunuch as a result of life time changes, or choices, they should be treated as normal, because they are fulfilling God’s plan for their lives.

–

They are on their own path of holiness.

–

They do not need mental health therapy or drugs.

They do not need a medical diagnosis of ISD (inhibited sexual desire), asexual, HSDD (low sexual desire), ED ( erectile dysfunction), sexual anorexia, etc. This type of diagnosis is reserved for those WITH the desire, but DO want a relationship.

They do not need mistreatment by the church, people interested in partnering with them, or the medical profession.

They do not need discrimination at work or in social circles either, as “unattached losers.”

They need respect for who and what they are.

–

They have ALL their time to spend on God’s kingdom, if they go in the ministry direction.

So God bless them, as well as anyone married, who pursues this path of spreading the gospel.

–

–