The Peter Pan Jezebel

Are you with someone really nice, but they are nothing but problems?

Male or Female

Immature form of Jezebel, undeveloped, but still a big problem

Has a pre-adolescent mentality

Friendly, adventurous, seeking fun and mischief, but breaks social rules to do this, thrill seeker, likes challenges, does things to see if she/he can get away with it

Socially very agreeable, but actions can reflect rebellion against established values.

Not intentionally malicious, but it has the rebellion tendencies, and will lie. It causes damage this way, through breaking social norms and rules.

Irresponsible, does not admit to wrongdoing unless they get caught

careless, so may get caught a lot

takes risks

steals

Can tell the truth, but can also lie if necessary

“sincere liar” – they can sincerely believe what they are telling you is the best thing to say, so that justifies it.

Sincerity is motivated by practical considerations.

May have very sincere look on their face when they are lying to you. May be very sweet about it.

poor judgment, impulsive

May appear independent, but since makes so many mistakes, has certain dependency needs on others to compensate for them

They need the success of others to balance out their failures. This is good for them, but pulls down the other person, burdening them

fantasy thinking. unrealistic

escapist – will try to run away from problems, and “start a new life” with someone who may not know about all the problems, entangling them

actually desires a good life with others, wants acceptance

Has the attitude “the end justifies the means” – example, stealing is ok if it is for a good reason. lying is ok if it impresses a potential mate. Cheating is ok if you need something more than they do.

deception

Poor decisions affect the rights and opportunities for others, does not consider consequences of actions, especially how it affects others.

examples-

a. careless with car, ending up in accident, this destroys the only family car. Now others cannot get to work, school, etc.

b. criminal or indecent behavior hurts family reputation

c. does drugs or steals, and gets caught by police, family now suffers as they have to pay for a lawyer, and do without income, or money provided by person.

d. wastes his/her money and does not help with their share of the expenses.

e. drinking while driving – may cause accident and kill someone

f. looses driver’s license for violations, and now others have to taxi them around everywhere. This causes a burden to others. This person may also try to drive with a revoked license.

g. puts expenses on credit cards or causes other expenses, knowing they have no way to pay for them. They let others assume the burden on joint responsibilities.

h. abandons children to the care of others, and goes off to become a prostitute, exotic dancer, or to just to live a life without the children.

Little or poor self control – they do what they desire to do, even if they know it is wrong. Their desire overrides any conscience they might have.

“Repeat offender” character type. does not seem to learn from mistakes. repeats mistakes, causing more undue hardship on others. It is like they “just don’t get it” They cannot seem to make the connection between behavior and consequences, and that the behavior is really wrong.

Will first deny wrongdoing, then may admit it, apologizing, but really this does not register in their brain, because they will go right out and do it again.

They make excuses, rather than express true understanding of their wrongdoings.

They can put others at risk

They may conceal their delinquent behavior from a potential mate, and limitations and problems that result from that. This may adversely affect finances, credit, social standing, job status or opportunities.

Promiscuous behavior starts at an early age. Sees nothing immoral about it.

Can be religious, but mirrors spirituality of others. Has no depth of their own. Cannot really relate to God, but may express faith of some sort. Expressing faith may be useful in impressing someone. Faith and religion, to them, is something you “do.” It does not really change your life. They know the right words to say.

If they get rejected by you, they will just re-align with another person who feels sorry for them, and start another life

Dealing with them

They do not want to grow up. Usually, only a series of major shocks will begin to change them in the sense that their behavior might be more under control, and more responsible. However, even with a shock, like punishment, they may go out and repeat behaviors again. There would have to be strong responses to each behavior, and that is more than any one person who is dealing with them has the internal resources for.

If you stay with them, be prepared for a life full of losses, and missed opportunities, and regrets. Compensating for their mistakes will drain you emotionally, financially, socially, physically, and spiritually.

If you break it off with them, it may hurt, but you might be better off.

Pray for their deliverance, and yours. Only God can change a person from the inside. Try spiritual counseling. They actually do not want to be this way.

***If this person is still a child, and you are the parent, you should be disciplining them, and giving them strong moral guidance.

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