Marriage is not an excuse for abuse.

I was told by a friend whose wife had left him over intimate issues, that the bible says the marriage bed is undefiled, which, to him, means people can do or demand whatever they want, and the partner has to go along with it.

This is what he was quoting

“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”  Heb 13:4

What this means is that the bed CAN be defiled by whoremongering and adultery, ie., sexual sin outside of marriage.

It does NOT mean someone can do whatever they want, especially it is forced on the other person, or the mate is coerced into doing something against their will.

The bible says:

1 Corinthians 7: (KJV)

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Defraud here defined:

To deprive of right, either by obtaining something by deception or artifice, or by taking something wrongfully without the knowledge or consent of the owner; to cheat; to cozen; followed by of before the thing taken; as, to defraud; a man of his right.

2. To withhold wrongfully from another what is due to him. Defraud not the hireling of his wages.

3. To prevent one wrongfully from obtaining what he may justly claim.


So defraud means to deny or cheat someone out of sex, …….or the opposite, to make someone to do something without their consent.

In other words, they do not want to, but the partner forces them into the activity.

The rights of BOTH parties have to be respected.

One example of forcing is if one partner is sick, and needs to be left alone to heal, but the mate insists the mate has his/her own way anyhow. This shows a lack of compassion for the sick partner.

Another situation is when one partner does not like something (example sodomy, sado-masochism, etc) or receives no benefit, and the other partner makes them do it against their will. Imposing emotional, physical, or psychological harm is not love.


The most obvious example is seen in Islamic child marriages, where the child bride has no choice in the marriage.

The marriage is used as an excuse to rape the child, and there has been many cases where the tiny girl is killed on her wedding night.

So whatever marriage contract there is, does not justify the rape and the murder. This is a defiled marriage as the child bride is a slave, not a willing wife.

Child marriage is also found in other cultures and religions besides Islam.


The defilement can occur after marriage, outside the marriage, or it can be before marriage, and brought into the marriage.


Love and respect your partner.

The marriage will last much longer that way.

You both have rights.


6 Responses to “Undefiled”

  1. Exactly!

  2. […] Source: Undefiled […]

  3. Sickening world, we are living & knowing the all the wickedness of the world!

  4. There are thousands of child marriage occurring right here in the USA but you dont hear much about it. Do a Google search and check it out.

  5. The Life of an American Jew in Racist Marxist Israel 😮

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