Useless Apologies

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Talk is cheap.

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There are many relationships in this world that are continuing in an unpleasant mode because there are ongoing apologies for offenses when the person is not really sorry.

The offender finds it is easy to apologize, but not change their behavior, because the victim assumes wrongly that the offender actually means it.

So the offender just offends over and over again, and the victim remains the victim.

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Another sign that the offender is not sorry is claiming victimhood when they are apprehended for doing something wrong. Suddenly, their victim becomes the “bully.”

The offender transfers blame to his victim(s), and therefore victimize them more.

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Current examples:

(1)

Radical Islam tortures and murders Christians and other non-Muslims.

When true news is revealed or discussed, the Christians and other non-Muslim victims are accused of Islamophobia.

The blame/guilt has been transferred from offender to victim.

(2)

So called “comedian” Kathy Griffin is shown in the news with a mock severed bloody head of President Trump.

This is a clear hate action, and there is nothing “funny” about murdering him.

She is not laughing in the image.

She knows what she is doing.

People complain.

She apologizes because she loses prestige and jobs, not because she sees the horror of what she has done, or wants to offer acts of kindness to the Trump family, to reverse the harm done.

She pretends this is just a bad joke.

People reject the fake apology, as she has no intention of admitting the evil death threat.

Then, she claims SHE is the victim of the “bully” Trump.

Her true nature is revealed.

She has projected her own guilt onto President Trump, proving she sees no guilt in herself.

She is the offender, and has transferred the blame to her victim, President Trump.

(3)

Incidents are not confined to the non Christian world.

Christians also deal with this issue of fake apologies in their families, churches and workplaces.

Examples:

An unfaithful spouse, who just apologizes, with some excuse to smooth things over, so he/she will have a place to stay, and keep their mate around. Then, they will go out and cheat again.

Disobedient children who say “sorry” to parents, then disobey again.

Gossipers who apologize if they get caught, but continue to gossip.

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Jesus addressed offences during his time here:

Luke 17  King James Version (KJV)

17 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!

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Someone who is truly repentant will try to heal the situation, and make amends.

They will also STOP doing the offense.

So there is a positive change in their behavior.

If it is a habit, they will work hard to overcome the habit.

They will also avoid offensive people and bad company

Jesus said:

Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. Romans 16: 17.

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For Victims

You should evaluate the sincerity of the apology.

You do not have to forgive, if the offender is not sorry.

You should be ready to forgive, however, and have forgiveness in your heart.

Learn from your own mistakes of believing false apologies, and enabling the offender.

You are not obligated to believe people’s lies.

Raise your standards, and pick more sincere people to be around you.

If the offenders are family, you may seem stuck with them, but you can make your expectations known. You want sincerity, not fake talk.

Actions speak louder than words.

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If the offender is sincere…………forgive!

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If you are the offender, face yourself, and face the truth of your behavior.

People are not going to buy your story forever.

They will wise up to you.

Do not go into denial.

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Repent sincerely.

Realize the harm you have done.

See the injury you have caused.

See the evil.

Reject the evil for what it is, and stop doing it.

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Your sin nailed Jesus to the cross.

Think about that for a few minutes.

If you do not repent, God will not forgive you.

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“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Revelation 3:19

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For those who refuse to repent/apologize sincerely, divine punishment awaits:

But the rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, Rev 9:20

And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts. Rev 9:21

And men were scorched with great heat, and they blasphemed the name of God who has power over these plagues; and they did not repent and give Him glory. Rev 16:9

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