Do people despise you?


What kind of Christian witness gets you despised? This does not sound too good, or is it?

Included in with a list of other adjectives, being “despised” has a softer presentation:

1Cr 1:27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

1Cr 1:28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, [yea], and things which are not, to bring to nothing things that are:

1Cr 1:29 That no flesh should glory in his presence.

1Cr 4:10 We [are] fools for Christ’s sake, but ye [are] wise in Christ; we [are] weak, but ye [are] strong; ye [are] honorable, but we [are] despised.

But wait ! What does despised mean?

Despised :

1. to look down on with contempt or aversion

2. to regard as negligible, worthless, or distasteful

Synonyms: despise , contemn , scorn , disdain mean to regard as unworthy of one’s notice or consideration.

despise may suggest an emotional response ranging from strong dislike to loathing.

contemn implies a vehement condemnation of a person or thing as low, vile, feeble, or ignominious

scorn implies a ready or indignant contempt <scorns the very thought of retirement>.

disdain implies an arrogant or supercilious aversion to what is regarded as unworthy

This means despised by everyone? …  NO.

Christians should love one another, and respect each other. We are warned against strife, and wrong speech and unkindness. We are to walk in brotherly love, forgiving, and protecting one another, showing mercy.

True witness to unbelievers will bring persecution. They will despise the true believer, who is not ashamed of his faith, and lives it.

2Ti 3:12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

Act 8:1 … And at that time there was a great persecution against the church which was at Jerusalem; and they were all scattered abroad throughout the regions of Judaea and Samaria, except the apostles.

Suffering – Paul’s Example

2 Corinthians 11:23-27 tells us that during his ministry Paul was imprisoned, flogged, beaten with rods, stoned and shipwrecked. Many times he labored without food, sleep or adequate clothing.

Look at what he went through with most of those who heard him:

2Cr 11:23 Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I [am] more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.

2Cr 11:24 Of the Jews five times received I forty [stripes] save one.

2Cr 11:25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;

2Cr 11:26 [In] journeyings often, [in] perils of waters, [in] perils of robbers, [in] perils by [mine own] countrymen, [in] perils by the heathen, [in] perils in the city, [in] perils in the wilderness, [in] perils in the sea, [in] perils among false brethren;

2Cr 11:27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

Why did he suffer to such extreme? For the sake of the gospel.

Even God was “mean” to him:

2Cr 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

Paul, writing from prison, says to Timothy: “And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am.” (2 Timothy 1:11-12a.)

But with all this suffering, God’s response to Paul:

2Cr 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

And, this is Paul’s response:

2Cr 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.


But what a horrible thing……to be despised. This is to be our goal? How can this be effective?

If we are this hated and disrespected, how can this do God or the gospel any good?

1. Endurance:


“Consider it pure joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance” (James 1:2,3).

Is James telling us to rejoice in our trials? No, he is not. If we look closely, and if we read on, we see that the basis of our joy is in what our suffering produces.

James is telling us that when the Christian faces trials it “produces endurance.” In other words, suffering has a purpose.

Suffering will either teach us that God is sufficient, or it will crush our faith in his goodness.

If suffering threatens our faith in the goodness of God, then it also threatens our ability to enjoy God.

And if suffering threatens our ability to enjoy God, then it also threatens our ability to glorify God.

Therefore, to endure suffering in faith, which includes persecutions, hatred, disrespect, being despised, and seen as worthless, actually positions us to enjoy and glorify God, as we see that the world no longer has a hold on our affections. Its opinion does not matter any more.

So, as we are rejected, all we have left is God. And when we come into his presence, we finally understand his joy. Because we finally endure to the end of the suffering, we are still available, with faith strong, to continue to witness to others.

If being despised stops us, then we do not have the right level of faith to impress anyone.

2. The psychological effects of being despised.

This is a deep trauma to the self esteem. We are wounded. The poison of others has been injected into our soul.

We are left paralyzed by the horror of the moment. It affects our public reputation, alienates us, and may destroy our career. What do we do now?

We are scorned, rather than listened to. Have we failed God, because are so despised in the world, that they reject the truth we have to offer? Is it our fault?

Did we do something wrong? Fellow Christians may avoid us, so they won’t be rejected either.

Stress increases, and the body functions are compromised, and resources depleted. We slow down emotionally, and life is just not that worth it anymore.

We wonder, is all this worth it? Where is God’s justice and mercy for us.

The scornful ones have plenty of mercy, and we are left to be destroyed.

How can a destroyed person have any value?

The answer comes in a conversation with Jesus, before his death:

Jhn 12:23 And Jesus answered them, saying, The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified.

Jhn 12:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abides alone: but if it die, it brings forth much fruit.

Jhn 12:25 He that loves his life shall lose it; and he that hates his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

So, this is the mystery revealed.

We should hate our lives in this world. We must die, and be destroyed, that we may live. If we are not destroyed in the flesh, we will never produce the fruit that the Lord is looking for in us.

Jesus could not bear the fruit of salvation, unless he was despised, and destroyed. He also had to die to the flesh, so that he could overcome the death of this world, and come back to life, offering us life.

The hope of glory

Being destroyed only means the end of us in this world, but it is an open door to the next one.

We also have to die, so we can rise again.

We have to partake in the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings, in order to rejoice in the glory of his resurrection !!

Unless this spiritual death process occurs, the ego will remain strong in the person, and the flesh will rule.

Flesh rebels wars against the spirit.

As long as this flesh is at war with God, the Holy Spirit is quenched, and there is no fruit.

Be encouraged

If you are despised, hurt, a fool, and unsuccessful according to man’s standards for godliness, you may be nearer to God than you think.

The path of holiness is a narrow path, and will be painful, but the destination is pure joy.

See also:

Holiness unto the Lord. Let us return! Click here for more

Are you In, Permeated, and One with God? Click here for more

Will God Split Your Red Sea? Click here for more

When God rejects us Click here for more

49 Responses to “Do people despise you?”

  1. […] kind of Christian witness gets you despised? This does not sound too good, or is it? Click here for […]

  2. Thank You for post! It’s so true! Timing is everything. This exact thing was heavy on my heart, today.

  3. Hey David,

    Well, I do not despise you. You are my friend, and brother in the Lord. 🙂


  4. Good article Marianne, so true, so true, God bless!

  5. Great article!!! 🙂 I had a question for you…

    My husband seems to be having a lot more mental (as in, bad thoughts) attacks from the enemy than he EVER had when he was living in BLATANT sin…

    I mean when he was a outright sinner and doing EVERYTHING he knew he wasn’t supposed to do he says he never got so many bad thoughts, but now that he is trying to live HOLY and learn to control the thoughts, as well as tuning away from all sin, it seems he is having a ton more bad thoughts as well as dreams.

    Now we know that ‘the battlefield is the mind’, but does he have to go around all day rebuking and binding demons EVERY time they come harrassing him in thoughts and whatnot,or what?

    What are your thoughts on fasting?

    AND heres another question I had… When casting out demons, do you just tell them “I rebuke and bind you in Jesus Name, Leave” Or do you have to tell them WHERE to go? Do you tell them to go back to hell or do they automatically go back to hell when casted out? (I noticed the story in the Bible about the demons begging Jesus to cast them into the pigs- Why were they so scared?)

    By the way, I have a story I wanted to share with you but I’m not goin to post it on here…It is something of the supernatural sort that happened a few months or so ago when I was feeling rather oppressed and waas not wanting to go to church that Wednesday night… my husband quoted some scriptures out loud over me… We saw some supernatural things happen! Not even sure exactly what it was!

    Anyhow, Have a great night and rest of the week!

    In Christs Love- Catrina 🙂

    • Hi Catrina

      Your husband is being attacked more with thoughts because he is saved now. The devil does not attack his friends, only his enemies.

      instead of driving himself crazy rebuking all day, just tell him to say a simple “no.” or “no, in Jesus name.”

      he does not have to get into any discussion with a demon. “no” is enough…..he does not have to say “go to hell” or anything like that

      What he needs to do is flood his mind with good thoughts …..which will crowd out the bad ones…lots of bible reading… stories….good movies…..christian music……good conversation….etc.

      fasting and prayer is a good practice……do what is most comfortable for you.

      write your experience in an email to me…….just hit the reply button when you get this


    • for catrina…

      but first, for marianne… amen to your posting. Jesus said if the world hated Him it will hate us. then comes a testing question… if the world does not hate us, are we not separate from the world as we ought?

      catrina, your husband’s experience is like mine. i have been “Christian” all my life, but things didn’t really change in me until around 6 yrs ago. SINCE THAT TIME i have had all the worst things in my life happen, including psyc ward hospitalization 3 times, wife left me, false accusation of molestation, and lots of bad thoughts entering the mind. i agree so much with what marianne said. and now i remember a story that Jesus said, and forgive me for not quoting it properly. but basically… sweeping the house [heart] clean of a demon is NOT enough, because he/it will just return with more of his friends. so we need to sweep the house clean and then put the STRONG MAN (Christ) in the heart… then the demons CANNOT enter, NOT ONE CHANCE. this is something i learned, and i hope it is of some help.

      may God keep us.

    • The only way to overcome evil thoughts is to devote yourself to the word of God. The word of God will renew your mind daily and before you know it, all the evil thoughts will disappear. The light drives away darkness but you have to walk in that light(word of God) consistently.

  6. Amen to this! What a great post, and some very insightful comments too! I think we need to be really careful that we’re not bringing some of this on ourselves for being legalistic and narrow in our zeal. I’ve seen folks get really goofy, impractical and so “spiritual” that others cannot stand them anymore; and they end up w/ a martyr complex.
    But when it’s the real thing, as in this post, it is tough at the time but will work together for the good of all, if we hang in there w/ Christ and let Him work things out. He knows what we can endure, and is always there for us. I’ve found the best way to handle those who despise me ‘for all the right reasons’, is to simply pray for them. Sometimes you will be the one they turn to first, when their lives begin to unravel.

  7. u dont have to be a witness or a christian of that matter to be despised, most of the world despises the homeless,politicians, homosexuals, and those with mental illness becuz they are afriad of what they do not understand.

  8. btw mary i crashed my car today, i am ok, but it is 4000$ worth of damage, i do not know wat to do

    • Hi Kyle,

      You are right. Some people are just mean, and do not care if someone is christian or not. They just hurt everyone.

      that is terrible about your car. How in the world did this happen? tell me off line.

  9. hi!

    john chap 8 Jesus dialog with the pharisees… we see that their “native language” is the lie, for they are children of the devil… they CANNOT understand the truth. so it upsets them.

    so sad that sometimes it is “supposed Christians” who despise us.

    it’s so delightful to me that the apostle who is basically our apostle of joy and contentment is PAUL… the one who suffered so much and often dictated this JOY from the damp dark prison cells.

    may we lose our lives for Christ! (easy to type, accomplishing it is another thing.)

    thanks for article,
    may God receive glory,

  10. Hi Marianne;
    I am severely despised.
    Great post, it made my whole day.

  11. i am hurting reeeeeeeaaaally bad,people have insulted me and say all manner of things against me and this are people i have been nice to.

  12. Hey Marianne,

    As you know the situation regarding my Aunt and Uncle and the “episode” that occured this past week. My feelings were deeply hurt and as I sat outside crying, the Holy Spirit said to me “remember they hated me first”. I did feel better but my heart broke over how He probably felt too. It doesn’t feel good when you know how much you love G-D and then people falsely accuse you of being the opposite. One of the things my uncle said to me was “we are not like you”….this hurt….but then I realized (G-d probably brought it to my attention) that I should be glad that I am not like them…what are they like? well, for starters, they are racist and my uncle is a mason. I don’t want to be like them and so without their even knowing, they were giving me a compliment..:)

  13. Yes Isaiah 16 predicts that the USA will be despised as a nation. No surprise really after what it as done to the rest of the world. The throwaway society that aborts babies like throwing away a beer can.

  14. Russia as been a communist country. Russia take storm into other peoples countries and send in the economic hitmen. Russia hasn’t been creating an empire, nor is it a super power. Russia doesn’t hold 85% of the global new age market. Russia had to learn the hard way just like the USA is doing now.

    God gives us the choice the easy way or the hard way. The hard way is when you go your own way. The easy way is when we do the will of God in the sacred union of the divine.

  15. As Christ said about the USA, ‘It is the house that Jack built’. He also said that Christians were deaf, dumb and blind. He said that the USA was the Church of Satan.

    • Only the USA has Satan? That is quite a claim. I would say many people are deaf, dumb and blind, and they all do not live in the USA. This is a universal problem.

  16. Americans made the Son of God an idol and the bible tells you that your covenant with death is annulled.

    • the Son of God is an idol? That is an oxymoron.

      Americans do not sacrifice innocent blood to Jesus.

      I agree that abortion is evil.

      Those that do it have no god, except themselves.

      they are doing it more because they put their personal comfort and desires before the life of the child. This is their idolatry and sin. They do not necessarily sacrifice to false ancient deities.

  17. “Therefore, to endure suffering in faith, which includes persecutions, hatred, disrespect, being despised, and seen as worthless, actually positions us to enjoy and glorify God, as we see that the world no longer has a hold on our affections. Its opinion *does *not *matter *any *more.

    So, as we are rejected, all we have left is God.”

    Amen! What people think doesn’t matter. The Holy Spirit is the Only friend we need. He’s the best friend in the whole world!!:)

  18. Hello Marrianne, May the Lord bless you for writing this article. Your obedient to the Word of God has help alot of people….I know I’ve been helped by reading this article 🙂 All Praise to the Most High God!!!

  19. […] Do people despise you? […]

  20. I’ve also been heavily persecuted by my own adult daughter (my only child) through the years to a point that I’ve cut all relationships with her many times. She despises me in every way but covers her real feeling under words like “I love you mom, kisses”. It took me some time to realize what was going on. I forgave her and pray for her on a daily basis. When she was 13, she said she was attracted by the dark side of life. I was already saved at the time and she was already incapable of staying with me for a long period of time, so sad. I hope one day God will touch her heart. I don’t want her to spend eternity in Hell… (French from Montreal)

    • Jomaryca

      that must be very hard for you. since she is an adult now, just keep praying for her to be saved.

      something will happen.

      either god will send someone her way to help her change, or god will allow disaster to hit her life, to make her cry out to him for help.

      I am sending you a prayer for unsaved loved ones….once the spirit of god is in her, she will come back to you

      I am also sending you a prayer against witchcraft and curses. print everything out and say each day. I will be in agreement with you.

  21. Nobody Has Never Despised Me Before? Everybody Loves Allen Wang!!!

  22. One of the best posts Marianne.
    I was not familiar w/ this site when this was written : ( was going through so much back in 2009 also. Some comments are fairly recent; good one can access all past writings.

    What transformation we have when caused to exchange our own life worth for HIS. It does not get easier as time goes on, yet as we fix our hearts’ only on Jesus & what HE suffered in our behalf we find a true hiding place from pain, knowing real love at last~

    • hi susan

      this was a lesson that took a lifetime to learn, and understand.

      For most people the same thing holds.

      we get hurt our whole life, and told it is our fault…..

      but that is not the truth…

      the holy spirit told me one day, it is THEIR sin, not yours!

      that opened my eyes….and helped me to calm down and heal.

      I hope the same revelation for others.

  23. So true Marianne.( working… Holy Spirit in me…)>>> x out blame.

    I know you experienced this to have written it. I had a

    hard time finding it again because this site is overflowing w/ posts, comments….quite a journey for you….!

    This is hardest for me to know, what you wrote back about. You say it takes a lifetime…Hum must be why we are still here…me for sure.

    We have such a loving Father; learning, knowing, allowing this perfect LOVE to fill overflow in me…Can’t contain it or get enough of it…

    Embrace me / us Abba~

  24. I am isolated and utterly despised. I have been discredited for doing good, black listed for having integrity and doing my job and therefore I can no longer get work even though I am well qualified, experienced and a very hard worker. The people who have done the worst against me are the ones to whom I have given most. Over and over and over and over and over. I have just had my welfare payments stopped after being bullied mercilessly and the whole thing is obviously unfair in the extreme and they are VERY happy to leave me to die, quite literally.

    It is not just that but I pray and pray and pray for the vicious neighbours dogs who are kept on short chains and kicked, beaten and choked to within an inch of their lives. The police literally care nothing for them and that is also true of the animal cruelty people. They are all related and in bed with each other in a tiny, isolated, inbred and very nasty little town in which I am now forced to live. I cry out to God for justice, for the animals and for myself but there is no answer other than to criticise me for wanting justice against these vicious people who have returned evil (with a promise of murder) for good I have done and I have done only good.

    I just told God that he could have his eternal life because I would not want to spend it with a God who punishes me for my sin and punishes me if I am good through vile people hating me and torturing his animals in front of my eyes. I cannot help, I cannot get anyone to help. I have been a spirit-filled Christian for a long time but the constant, unrelenting persecution is getting to me. And now God is going to add more torment onto me, possibly madness and death like on Nebuchadnezzer for not praying blessing on the vicious sadists who literally torture their animals (they are crying as I write) and who constantly attack, along with many others, my house, car, garden and character. Many so called ‘Christians’ would also happily cast the first stone and if they are in company, they like it all the better.

  25. After coming across some horrendous things on Facebook, I realise there are much worse things in life. God’s way of helping me.

  26. PLEASE pray for the release of the dogs to kind and gentle homes.

    • mickey

      god is not punishing you, but you are going through tribulation due to satan

      I am sending you prayers for strength

      say daily, you need to keep up your faith

      You have my prayers for support and that the dogs are released

      • Thanks Marianne. The Lord has dealt with me regarding my anger. I have been and am continuing to fast and pray a lot. The situation with the dogs, when I can hear them crying and I see this shocking abuse, feels more than I can bear. I am a long-term, Spirit filled, experienced Christian. I always put on the armor of God, thank you. Perhaps God wanted me in this place to pray about these issues; Lord knows there is not a single person here who cares at all. There is one old man who is also distressed and who sees similar things but not as bad and he is not a Christian as far as I know; he also believes one of his dogs were poisoned; you have no idea how bad it is here. It is a truly Godless and horrid community. I have reason to believe there is also child abuse and possible sexual abuse from a few things a little girl said, I’m not sure but there were things that made me concerned; I know you would think so too if I told you.

        I am very spiritually sensitive, my property is attacked constantly and I can feel an almost constant stream of hate directed towards me. This is 100% undeserved; I have actually helped these people much more than others would, they were kicked out of the last place they lived. That the things they do are not addressed by anyone…there are no words. And yes, I am attacked on every other level of my life in addition to this. I am strong but this situation needs an army of prayer warriors to shift. The people here are so evil and most of them are inbred; it is like a whole web of evil and they believe they are unconquerable and that no one can touch them and anyone not born here does not belong and what goes on here is none of their business. Can you see how strong this Satanic web is?

        Thank you very much for your encouragement and reassurance. If you will pray, that will surely help. To keep your faith whilst watching torture going on and on and on is a very hard thing to do and that is not the only thing that is going on, my life is literally threatened in various ways. I don’t know what to pray anymore; if I have to not be angry or cry out for God to move against these vicious, evil, thieving, violent people. I cannot and will not bless them and I know the vast majority of Christianity would pray against me and judge me for that. I will praise God for His strength and mighty hand that is all I can do and beg for the dogs to be released into kind homes and that the things threatening my life will be taken away. Thanks Marianne.

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