I Dance in his Shadow
As I look back, and reflect, I felt the greatest sense of liberty, was when I was dancing, but as someone who knew nothing.
My time with the dance group
I belonged to a group, and I was only a beginner. What I experienced was not the freedom in a high level of skill, but freedom in the lack of it.
How could this be? Isn’t our greatest expression of self released when we can do the most?
In my case, it wasn’t. I was to learn that my lack of short term memory, and inability to learn the dance movements, would create a sense of dependency on others. I was also dyslexic, and it was hard to follow mirror image instructions.
They could do the same dance 50 times, and I still could not remember what to do. I was helpless.
So how could I be so free when I knew nothing?
The answer: I had a kind male friend, named Itzik, who was a wonderful dancer, and he sensed my inability. I would stand beside him, and shadow his movements, as he would softly call out the steps in a way that was quick to understand. He also had nice big feet, dark shoes against a light floor, and they were easy to watch!
I could eventually incorporate the melody into my inner self, but never the steps. He did not look down on me for being so dumb, and unable to learn. He was very patient, repeating things over and over.
He was the embodiment of the music. He had danced his entire life, and here I was, knowing nothing. He had internalized the music so well, that it seemed he just lived and breathed the music, and the dance movements just flowed out of him. He could go on for hundreds of dances, maybe thousands, and know all the steps.
The music and dance had become part of who he was. He WAS the music.
I was just his shadow, adding nothing to him, but receiving everything back.
Once the music started, he would move to the right or left, and I would follow. He lifted his arms, and I lifted mine. He turned and spinned, and I turned and spinned as well too. As one foot would move, my same foot would move. Then the other foot moved, and I moved mine as well. If he bent at the waist, I did also.
The music would then start to pick up speed, and we would whirl around the room, flowing, and bending, and spinning, and leaping around, with our arms going through all sorts of patterns. It was so much fun! And I didn”t have to know anything about what I was doing either! I just followed my friend Itzik.
Each song was danced to, and followed by another, until several hours would go by. At the end of each song, and at the end of the evening, I could not repeat even one move, that I had done the whole time. I was such a nothing on my own.
But what was nice, was that when the music started, and Itzik moved, and I moved with him, my inability no longer mattered. He was one with the music, and I was one with him.
He was the substance. I was his shadow.
My dance with my God –Yahovah
Sometimes, in my walk with God, I have no idea what I am doing.
Although, I understand His will in general, I do not know what to do, or what the specific steps are, that I should follow.
So I stand alone, in the middle of the dance floor of life, looking around. I cannot move on my own. I am lost.
But, then suddenly, the lights go down, and the shadows rise, and the music starts.
And, out of the shadows, the Spirit of the Lord comes to show me the steps. He takes my hand.
I do not have to understand. I do not have to memorize. I just have to follow.
He moves, and I move. He lifts his arm, and so do I. He moves his feet, and I move mine too. He speaks, and I speak what I hear him speak. He stops, and I stop. He leads, and I follow.
He tells me what to do, and I do it.
Around and around we go!
I am having so much fun! I can move around now, and feel free. I can dance to the music, and enjoy what He is doing, without any demands on me at all. It is so much fun to just dance, and dance, and dance!!
I love to dance!
He IS the music. I just receive who He is.
He has done everything. I have done nothing.
He is the substance. I am His shadow.
He is Liberty. I am free, all because of Him.
He is my God. And I bow down before him in gratitude, for a chance to dance with Him. He is my King, and He loves me. And I love Him back.
At this time, I am crippled, and it is too painful, and dangerous for me to dance.
Someday, I will get to go to heaven, and be with Him forever. He says He has a place prepared for me.
It is a beautiful mansion, but with not much furniture.
This is because the mansion needs none. All the empty space is for dancing!
Because someday, in heaven, I will dance again.
And He will dance with me. He will lead, and I will follow.
And we will spin around, and around, and around, and I will have so much fun!
Come, Lord, come!