Thank God I am disabled

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He waited 38 years in hope.  He could have left, but he didn’t.

Many suffer daily of some affliction.

They need God’s deliverance, and help.

But God is sovereign, and has His own timing.

Why so long, Lord? Why so long?

Waiting years for a healing or deliverance can be discouraging, and the soul becomes weary of waiting.

Life is passing by, and there seems to be no change or help coming.

What is wrong?

So many people give up after a short time. They do not endure to the very end.

Some miracles take a very long time.

Are you willing to wait, or will you give up?

The man who waited 38 years

Jhn 5:2 Now there is at Jerusalem by the sheep [market] a pool, which is called in the Hebrew tongue Bethesda, having five porches.

Jhn 5:3   In these lay a great multitude of impotent folk, of blind, halt, withered, waiting for the moving of the water.

Jhn 5:4   For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.

Jhn 5:5   And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years.

Jhn 5:6   When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time [in that case], he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?

Jhn 5:7   The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steps down before me.

Jhn 5:8   Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.

Jhn 5:9   And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked: and on the same day was the sabbath.

This man was brought there and left. He most likely waited all day, each day.

Maybe someone brought him there, and just left him for long periods, and came back when they felt like it.

No one was willing to stay with him, to wait with him for the pool to be agitated by the healing angel.

So, each time there was a chance for a miracle, he could not get in the pool fast enough.

He had no one to help him.

Years and years passed.

A lifetime passed.

He was old now.

.

Sounds like many of us. No one to help.

We are all alone.

But he kept hoping for a chance someday.

He never left the pool, where God sent an angel to bring the presence of God into the area.

He could have left and given up, but he didn’t.

So, for 38 years, he spent time each day in the presence of God, watching miracles, and waiting for his time.

There was something wonderful about the pool of healing, and God’s presence.

He wanted to stay. It was wonderful there.

There was no physical benefit, but the miracles must have been exciting.

He kept coming back, day after day.

He was blessed more than he realized.

But one day, his patience and faithfulness would pay off.

While he waited for a chance to get closer to God, God got closer to Him.

Jesus showed up and healed Him.

This nameless man, that no one helped, had just come face to face with his Messiah.

He walked away a new man.

While he waited for contact with physical water, he received the waters of eternal life.

And with this, came his healing.

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Marianne’s Application

For the past 10 years, I have had time at my own pool.

I hope, and pray, and wait, and nothing happens.

Day by day, I deal with my limitations.

In many ways, I am crippled.

Arthritis, bone fractures, limping around. Cannot stand or move well.

Total exhaustion daily.

In a state of total collapse, most of every day.

No one helps.

Doctors are useless.

Pain is constant, and movement is limited.

Yet, I do not look at today.

I look at the day that Jesus will come.

As I sit amazed at the miracles of life which occur daily, my soul grows stronger.

Being disabled keeps me in the presence of the Lord.

Before all this, I was busy and active in the world.

I spent little time with God, because I had so much to do.

Everything I have worked for, and my busy-ness, was motivated by the desire to have happiness, joy and fulfillment in my life.

But, the only way to have what I really wanted was to leave the world behind me.

Since I did not do this on my own, God did it for me.

In one day, the world was gone from my life, and suddenly, there was nothing but God left.

.

Now, I spend all my time with Him.

How amazing.

I have now the kingdom of God within me.

And now, ALL that I wanted from the world is provided to me, without even working for it.

It has been a humbling experience.

I thought I had to work for my happiness and provision.

But in fact, God had it there, waiting for me.

All I had to do was wait by the pool, and He would show up.

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Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Spend time at the pool.

The presence and kingdom of God is there.


50 Responses to “Thank God I am disabled”

  1. how very right you are .Like you i too was too busy for God but then one day all went dark into my life .I could not even hold my head up on my shoulders anymore .stress it was so intense that could not even think straight ,and them it come the feeling that you are worthless and afraid of even trying to do the little requirements of daily life .5 years have passed by and then another 3 and it was not until the 9th year that you start to recuperate ,but your life will never be the same .but God is there always .
    Rosa

    • God bless you Rosa. Thank you for sharing that.

      • Marianne, I found you searching for a city on 7 hills for my book that I am writing on 2nd Coming of Christ. I was touched by your disabled comments. I had a sudden death heart attack close to 2 years ago. My former pastor told me when I was in the hospital “well maybe now you will have time to write your book”. I took it as a confirmation of what God was telling me to do. I have a real Job story. But, what I wanted to mention was that there is hope for you. I personally had Arthritis for 20 years and it was getting so bad I couldn’t hardly pull myself up into my Bobcat skidsteer to haul wood for heating my house. I was seriously wondering how soon I was going to be in a wheelchair. I presently got on a product that helps the body heal itself with 72 various vitamins, minerals, herbs, and trace minerals that are in the proper balance to feed the cells for it to heal itself. It took me 90 days for my pain in my joints to leave and another 90 for my stiffness to leave. It puts the fluid back into your joints to relieve the pain and it breaks up the collagen which produces the stiffness that we feel with arthritis. My wife had lyme disease 4 times and had a frozen shoulder and a frozen thumb and released from taking this powdered product. Please email my wife at debbiesias@gmail.com In His love Marlon

  2. Marianne,

    I speak this into life to your dead dry bones in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Live you bones of life in Marianne. Be restored come back from the dead valley where you were sent and mount back upon the body of Marianne as the Lord made you and intended you
    healed this day. For we live in the day of restoration and the time of latter day rain and the demon who has climbed her back, climb under her foot and have your head crushed by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who paid the full price for our healing in his mighty and whole name Jesus Christ our life.

    Be3 blessed Marianne receive your healing, but remember as soon as you read to thank the Lord sing out loud his praise enter into his courts rejoicing for he is so worthy to be served, he loves you. Mount up a fierce words for him that describes the meaning of him to you. Take your step forward, he has healed you and you are his, sing it let him know it praise him in the church, in the market, proclaim him name and his healing. Remember we walk by faith so if you see not the second praise and know he has done it.
    Don’t let the evil one take it back, when he tells you different, listen not. Tell the evil words to die a death for God has given us all power to tread the enemy down, tread him down and be increased in faith to see in Jesus Christ name and by his love, he said it is done, there isn’t anything else?

    You believe and accept him and what he did right, it is your gift take it as the gift God gave to you.

    God Bless Sister Pattie

  3. what awesome and powerful encouragements and testimonies i read here,u helps me be more strong in faith in jesus,i love jesus soo much and am praying that his will in my life and mums and siblings life wil come to be accomplished us all,may the lord of peace and mercy keep u all now and forever more,amen.Thanks for all may u be blessed.

  4. Marianne, What a blessing you are! I am so sorry you suffer so. I will pray for your healing & God’s will in your life. Like you & so many, my life IS nothing like the life I tried to make! Our Heavenly Father had another plan, obviously. Altho, my lfe seemed to show happiness & provisions more than comfortable, suddenly my life was destroyed by a cruel act of fate, brought on by my unbelieving, exhusband, an illness which he allowed to destroy our marriage & family…a very sad tradegy. .That was the first time I felt the enemy in a stronghold in my life. I have worked so hard in this world but keep getting the “rug” pulled out from under me! I thank you for your blessed inspirations, @ least I have my health for now, altho, exhaustion may take it’s toll eventually! I’m in a mostly non christian environment, can be difficult, the ultimate test, I guess. I often wonder, how much or what we experience is from the enemy & what is from our Father in heaven, like in the book of Job? Peace be unto you!

  5. Remember dear friends that the Lord God will never give you more than you can handle .The way of God is not our way and He will go to extreme to save us from our selves .sometimes when we are down because life has plagued us we should remember that The Lord tests us like silver in the fire and only if we pass the test will we be able to enter the kingdom of God .I suggest to all of those who are in a situation like mine or Marianne to read JOB 1_10 and you all will understand what is happening in your life .That message was given to me by the Holy Spirit of God in a dream after I questioned what was going on .The Lord was very kind and allowed me to see what my life was going to be like .and let me tell you my friends that even though I have come a long way from what i was going through before I am still being purified as silver in the fire .To be hones it is not easy for me to deal with the ups and downs in my life most special when I know that it is the evil one ruining me but then again God has given him permission to to take it all away ,so i accept what happens and trust God for He alone knows what is best for me .Hope i was of some help. Hung in there it is for your salvation .Give thanks to god that he has chosen you to live .
    God bless you all .In Christ Jesus
    Your sister
    Rosa

    • hi Rosa

      Very true.

      And people need to realize that God judges us NOT by how well He comes to our rescue (that is HIS strength), but how faithful we are when he does NOT rescue us (that is OUR strength).

  6. We are a small world and there are believers everywhere all going through problems.A few short months ago I didn’t see anyone else’s suffering but mine. Now in my new walk I see how important it is to stand firm in your faith and know that we are not alone in our troubles. God hears our prayers and fellow Christians are all around us. I am learning to be grateful for the blessings that I do have, my Children and a God that Loves me unconditionally. I’ve learned whatever the problem, you are not going through it alone as your fellow Christians and your Father in Heaven are all with you at all times.
    Thank You Marianne for your inspiration, I will pray for you and all of the friends here. God Bless

  7. I know all too well what you are going through. I too suffer from pain daily. Back pain, nech pain, torn knee cartilage, magraines, can’t sleep are just a few. I want to be with Jesus, and have a new body that is pain free. No more sickness. No more killing.
    I look forward to the day we will all run through fields of wheat.

    • When God is on their side, the lame take the prey.

      Isa 33:22 For the LORD [is] our judge, the LORD [is] our lawgiver, the LORD [is] our king; he will save us.

      Isa 33:23 Thy tacklings are loosed; they could not well strengthen their mast, they could not spread the sail: then is the prey of a great spoil divided; the lame take the prey.

      Isa 33:24 And the inhabitant shall not say, I am sick: the people that dwell therein [shall be] forgiven [their] iniquity.

      Being crippled or sick cannot stop us from the victory.

      I most certainly would love to run again, just to see how it felt.

  8. I like this song and lyrics Emanuelle by Ace of Base:

    Where are you now little girl?
    How do you do precious pearl?
    Is this the nightmare that you used to feel?
    Did it come true little girl?

    Dreams that you’ve dreamt, turned to dust
    You ain’t got no one to trust
    What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
    You are addicted and must

    Cry Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle
    Cry Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle

    Selling your soul just to please
    To get some money to ease
    Ease all the pain that drives you insane
    that circle gives grief for ease

    Ummm Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle
    Cry Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle

    You ask me what do I know?
    Am I just telling to show?
    But there’s a thing in your eyes when you sting
    Doing that stuff makes me pray

    Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle
    Cry Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle

  9. Sometimes I bang on the door to your squad,
    Sometimes I wish I believed in your God,
    I’m bleeding from walking the night in your shoes,
    Why do my knees keep on hurting?
    I guess I can scare you when showing my scars,
    That’s how you won my heart!

    Chorus:
    You break me up,
    You heal me in,
    Cause a commotion,
    Drive me to spin.
    You break me up,
    You heal me in,
    Throw me to lions,
    Find More lyrics at http://www.sweetslyrics.com
    Tempt me to sin.
    You break me up,
    You heal me in!

    What was that coin that you threw in my mouth?
    Cause I’ve been torn between Heaven and Hell,
    Slowing the train I prepared to get of,
    That’s when the rush is returning.
    I guess I can scare you when showing my scars,
    That’s how you won my heart!

  10. Hello there. I am disabled too, 23 years officially, but struggling before that for decades without a diagnosis. Now I have three rare
    blood disease diagnosed. One of them, Polycythemia Vera, produces too many red cells and platelets, and I am in danger of stroke, but the chemo I tried 4 times was a nightmare. Now I have to decide whether to take another Chemo that everyone says is worse, but it might be better for me–Interferon. Interferon is listed safe for Porphyria, one of my other dx’s. I have to take the Interferon to the doctor and see if I can tolerate it in his office. One of the doctors is far away (40 miles) and I have no way to get home unless I hire my handyman. The other doctor is not sure she is qualified to give the shot, but maybe she will.

    Every night I nearly itch to death, another symptoms of too high platelets. My foot hurts much of the time so that walking is sometimes as hard for me as for Marianne, and very painful.

    But I am still grateful for my salvation. And I am grateful for my husband’s salvation, who accepted Christ at a healing service we went to. My husband died two years ago, the love of my life, and so I am
    alone like Marianne.

    Well, just another disabled person. But hoping for His soon coming in the rapture, and if not, then my homegoing through death. I am very frightened of death because there are a lot of increased pains and struggles with it. I sat with my husband for 12 days and nights as he died, in his room, and it was a struggle, for he was perfectly conscious and did not want to leave. No easy falling asleep. Nothing was easy, nothing is easy.

    But thank you Lord for life and the hope of being with You forever,
    and with my husband.

    Love to all here.

    Mariel

  11. Hello If you or anyone you know have cancer and is undergoing chemo treatment .tell them to stop.there is something a lot better than chemo it is a fruit called sower sap .it can be found in almost all the tropical nations of .and that works .you can eat it fresh or you can dry it up and make peels .good luck .

  12. Thank you Lord that you make us more like you during our suffering and times of trial. Thank you that there are others and knowing they are there provides a sense of comfort.

    Marianne, I am sorry for your suffering but I am so glad that you have this website. I have found that it gives me strength on the inside And encouragement as well. I left mainstream Christianity a little while ago. It can get a little lonely at times when you feel like you are the only one who doesn’t buy into the whole modern-day mainstream christianity scene. Sometimes it can be challenging when no one understands why you do or don’t do certain things. (Like choosing to attend bible studies instead of church services. I am not against fellowship but I have found that church buildings don’t automatically mean the closeness of ‘church’ as the Lord’s body.)

    I am looking forward to going “home” when Jesus comes back and I think that the trials we go through helps us not be so attached to the world. It helps to loosen our grip on this world (at least it has for me) and long for things eternal.

    I will be very happy to meet you someday. Your website has been such a blessing to me and I come here often for encourgement.

    Reziah

    • HI Reziah

      I would like to meet you too someday.

      Everyone that comes here is a blessing to me, and a source of fellowship outside of “church.”

      We are the church. 🙂

  13. I sometimes feel like I can’t take anymore. But then I just ask……………………………………….

  14. Oh Father touch my beloved brother and sister. Touch them with your healing power and with your tender love and mercy, deep oh Lord,deep within Father, where only you can reach!!! Deep within the midst of their being. Farther breathe healing on them in the name of Jesus. Let every need be met…….. God and we will so so careful as to give you the praise.

    • Beautiful songs….from deep within the soul

      Psa 42:7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.

      Psa 107:24 These see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep.

      Eze 32:14 Then will I make their waters deep, and cause their rivers to run like oil, saith the Lord GOD.

  15. Marianne Arthritis is to do with with being fixed, many fixed mindsets and orthodox minds get it. One has to be as flexible as the mystic rope in the mind to enter the eye of the needle.

    In the KJV it mentions the camel but that is an incorrect translation. In the Aramaic bible it is ROPE not CAMEl. Why rope? Rope is flexible. Open minded and open hearted.

    As the scriptures state, in New Jerusalem they will not say I am sick for they will be forgiven.

    He will gather the lame and make them into a strong nation.

    • HI Eliakim

      I hope you are well. My arthritis comes from an injury, that did not heal well.

      It is hard for feet to heal when you have to keep using them to walk and get around.

      I think I will have to return to braces on my legs to stop the pain. I was in braces for 2 years…then felt better, so I took them off, with the doctor’s permission.

      Now, I may have to return using them.

      Arthritis also resulted from shifting all my weight from one injured area to the better foot and side.

      this put too much pressure on the better side, and it got stressed and injured from the excess weight bearing.

      So the better side ended up with arthritis and cartilage loss due to too much impact on that one side.

      Now I have both sides to contend with.

      But yes, the joy of the Lord is my strength, and I will manage this, and hopefully heal in time.

      Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

      Patience is a virtue. We all need more of it.

      be blessed. and thanks for your concern.

  16. Best you see a sports injury massage therapist so that they help you. They are specifically trained healers to work with the kind of injury that you speak of. Even better if you find one that is a kinesiologist as well. Check out some videos on youtube also about lympathic drainage. The LORD sent his healers to help the people and now it is up to the people to turn to his healers that he sent out into the world to help the people that require help.

    As Jesus told the Apostles that they would do things greater than he.

  17. I’m always telling my daughter to be thankful for everything she has and what we have in America. Do you remember your parents ever telling you to remember the starving children in Africa and to be thankful you aren’t starving?

    I think what my daughter lacks is good Christian examples and mentors and friends, then maybe she wouldn’t feel the way she does. And she attended Christian school kindergarden/first grande and highschool. She sees mostly hypocrites and poor examples.

    And then theres the extreme cases God sends into this world to teach us we have no right to play God and decide who lives and who doesn’t. Here’s two examples:

    By the way, these two guys and their families are “Christians”

    Patrick Henry Hughes; He has two CD’s out and a book called “I am Potential”

    http://www.patrickhenryhughes.com/
    http://www.iampotentialbook.com/

    Nick vujicic:
    http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

    People who are against abortion are always saying “What if Jesus was aborted?
    It’s on facebook and there’s a blog for those talking/interested about it:
    http://whatifjesuswasaborted.blogspot.com/
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/What-If-Jesus-Was-Aborted/161386903893070

    I guess what got me thinking about this was the post by “Noncomformer” saying how much “The Tribulation” is focused on this blog. “I’m not focusing on it”. I’m not going to go through it. Unfortunately in the Bible we will have to go from point A to get to point B. So we need to understand it. I do believe there’s incredible/unparallel evil exising and being perpetrated today. It’s my responsisbility to warn others about it and point it. I believe we’re headed toward a repeat depression, to teach us we never learn from History. I believe this is going to be a time of testing. I believe the Tribulation won’t happen until all the Holocaust survivors, WWII Vets and even all the Pastors who are always talking about “Jesus Return” pass on. We get amnesia in this world real easy. It’s human nature.

    What I’m saying is not biblical. It’s just my personal opinion.

    Don’t get me wrong. I’m pre-trib. I wish the rapture was sooner than later.

  18. http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/the-boy-who-sees-without-eyes/

    The Boy Who Sees Without Eyes

    Mystery21

    Ben Underwood lives with his family in the suburbs of Sacramento, California where he attends his local high school. Like any other 14-year-old boy, he loves to play with his friends and chat to girls his age, with whom he seems popular. He looks like any other boy, until he removes his $4,600, hand-crafted eyes. Ben is blind and, like other blind people, relies on some specialist equipment to survive. He uses talking computer software and a Braille machine to help with his homework.
    Ben does not have a guide dog, uses no stick, and does not even use his hands to aid his mobility. Instead, he has developed something of a super sense: he is the only person in the world who navigates using clicks. As he walks, he makes a continuous clicking noise with his tongue. As these clicks echo around him, he is able to draw up a detailed mental plan of his surroundings and adjust his direction accordingly.
    So accurate is his technique that he is even able to go rollerblading on the street, negotiating narrow gaps between parked cars that even sighted children might find challenging. In fact, Ben’s mother, Aquanetta, inds that her son is far more attentive to the dangers of the road than his friends, always the first to move onto the pavement when a car approaches.
    Ben first noticed his talent at the age of seven, when at summer camp. While it began as just a habit, Ben explains, he soon realised that it had potential benefits for navigation. He began to practise every day and developed the system to the point it is at today. It is the fact that Ben is entirely self-taught that is perhaps most astonishing and has led people to use the term ‘genius’ when referring to the boy. (Excerpt from demand.five.tv)

  19. Thank you for this wonderful post. Its true, I have been experiencing ill health. It has stopped me from doing all the things that I need to do, it has made me see that indeed i cannot provide every need for every person. It has slowed me down and I have been stripped of all my crutches and now am starting a journey were i lean only on God.

    Thank you for your witness.

    • Dear no one

      You can do much with what little you have. I am limited with physical problems, but now I have this website that has reached over 2 million people, and daily visits are over 4000. With Jesus, anything is possible. He can use you just the way you are! God bless you!

  20. http://www.sidroth.org/site/News2?abbr=tv_&page=NewsArticle&id=9663&security=1041&news_iv_ctrl=1463

  21. Also Mcpherson (see above video first)

  22. God seems to me much like The Easter Bunny or Santa Claus,my worldly life was taken away too and repllaced with sickness,lonliness,depression,loss,and granted when I lean on my ownof course I do not understand but as far as I can,when bad things happen and unnecessary suffering I feel its foolish to believe He actually cares either He lacks the power to stop it or doesn’t care meaning He is neither benevolent or omnipotent,I am beginning to think the athiests may be right I do however believe in one thing and that isevil seems to be alive and well in this world so in many ways Satan has actually won I wish I didn’t feel this way but I am bitter and angry since my good life was taken away for no apparent reason by a God (or something?) That seems to have created humanity for needless suffering and pardon my french, to worship him as an egomaniac or meglomaniac, and basically to kiss his a$$… why create at all?I no longer wish to serve or believe in such a”God”soon He will go the way of gods like Thorand Zues,forgotten and seemingly made up by mere men.

    • dear bleuelectric

      I do not know the type of disability or sickness you have so I cannot comment there.

      From what I have observed, the problems we receive in this life are usually due to other people, not god, or even the devil. Sometimes the devil is active, but people mess things up so bad he does not have to work very hard on his own to hurt us.

      People damage us because they have chosen to have sin in their lives and reject god, meaning they have no rules to restrict their behavior. the average person, now, is selfish.

      God is there for those who call upon on his name. usually people do not do that….or they curse god, and blame what others do on him, so he does not answer

      sometimes we “lose” in life because what we wanted was not good for us anyhow….even if it looked good at the time.

      there are a lot of issues we all have to examine carefully, as to what actually caused them…..we do have the option to ask god for help, but he usually waits until someone asks him…he is polite, and does not butt in.

      also, to have god answer in a positive way, we have to have a good relationship with him….through his son Jesus, who died for us, so we would not HAVE to have hell for a life or afterlife.

      this relationship is like any other….. you will help those you are close to, trust, and who have shown you kindness and love…..you may refuse help to strangers who do not care about you.

      I suggest not giving up…..first seek god in your life, and read the bible, looking for it to speak to your spirit….ask god to reveal himself to you….to forgive you for any mistakes you have made in your life, and help you through your current sufferings.

      I pray that you find the peace and answers you are looking for.

      • Okay I am going to try but I am still doubtful and it still bothers me that if you do not praise Him? He will not help you?😦 THAT seems selfish to me….. /: sooo since I have been disbelieving and considering atheism I will not be healed and remain disabled? That is upsetting and dashes my hopes of regaining the life I lost,my job,the city I always dreamed of living in,a successful career,my love and the man I wanted to marry someday etc,seems unfair😦😦

        • well you have to make up your mind.

          you cannot have it both ways.

          you want god to help, but don’t believe him, think he is mean, and think he is unfair and selfish….if I were god, I would not help with your attitude now…..you have to stop flip flopping…on what you think

          seems like the job loss, the city and the man have nothing to do with god, so you are blaming losses where you had the primary influence,……. on god, who was not involved.

          • Erm😦 not to be stubbornI see what your saying but it feels like your basically saying,its all my fault somehow?:( sooo all the kids born retarded,their Mothers should blame themselves somehow?😦

            • you said nothing about your kids being born retarded.

              I do not know the circumstances around these births….whether it si hereditary, medical or what.

  23. My kids were not born,I have no children what happened to. Me was that at the age of28 I had a massive stroke out of nowhere with no warning signs and for no apparent reason,it caused me to lose everything and go thru much pain and loss and so it has been hard to see God in any of this ,as I type my lefthand still no longer works and all I want is to be able to use it again and feel with it again too and thru these losses any faith I did have ,has been tested to say the least:(

    • bleu

      this is a fallen world. and we are fallen creatures in it. our bodies are not perfect. we eat chemicals on our food. we breathe in toxins. our waters have poisons in them, or are polluted with awful things. even vaccines can kill us, or cause disease or birth defects.

      God did not cause these things to happen. man did…..

      we are victims of what man has done to this world.

      i understand medical issues…..in 2006 i was given a medication to reverse ulcers, and ended up with adverse reactions that have lasted to this day.

      no doctor was smart enough to record it, so nothing was done, and I have not worked since then. fortunately i was close enough to retirement to get money that way.

      god was aware of this…so is he to blame?

      no,……the drug company was….and the doctors who gave it to me and did not care about recording the adverse results so I could sue. they did not want to believe it or get involved.

      so why did this happen?

      for the past 7 years, god has allowed me to remain unemployed so I could start this website to help others.

      so in his plan, which i did not understand, and on the physical level looked like a disaster, there was good planned for me when I stopped working.

      we are not going to avoid trouble in this life, but with god’s help, we can OVERCOME the situations by finding the good in them and doing good because of the situations.

      only recovered drug addicts know what it is like and can help other addicts the best….. only those who have been abused can best relate to other victims.

      only soldiers who have been wounded in battle can relate to other veterans, and can sense the real dangers to america, having personally faced the enemy in war. without them defending you, you could be dead now.

      you must find the reason behind this stroke, and use it to help others like you…..you may have a medical mission to help stroke victims, especially those who are neglected or abandoned somewhere……

      god has a positive plan for you…..feeling the discouragement from you, I can also sense a need from you to find fellowship and purpose in what you have been through.

      I suggest you seek god in his word, and in prayer, and find out this purpose…..no human life was created for NOTHING good to happen.

      no matter how evil life gets, we must overcome evil with good……when we do this, we serve our purpose and glorify god..and doing this, we find the relationship with him we have been looking for.

  24. Wow. It’s been a year since any entry was made on this post. Marianne, sometimes I come to your blog and pass down the list of posts on the right side and “randomly” stop at a post. This is the one I stopped on tonite.

    I, too, was “too busy” for God. Even after I was medically retired from my career, I still found ways to stay busy – C.E.R.T. training and meetings, HAM (short wave) radio certification & licensing; volunteer at various positions at the local senior center; drive the Meals on Wheels truck once a week.

    Until – BLAM! It seemed all the injuries I had on duty plus the ones that retired me from a severe auto accident, were coming back to haunt me. I literally went from going 100mph to a dead stop. On top of that I had (have) insomnia so I get to lie awake and no just how little I am “doing.”

    But something else opened up for me – time with our Lord. Today I get to spend much of my day in prayer and much of time time listening to Him, reading the Bible, and visiting sites like yours. I have mentioned to you before on other posts here on your blog how you site, this site, has become my church.

    And I find, in all of this, how much of a blessing I have been given. And to have been rewarded with the opportunity to have all of this time with God and to share with people like you. 🙂

    • denise

      thank for the comment,,,,my feeling is that you will come out of your insomnia….i have had it for 8 years, and now I am starting to sleep through the night better…it is not perfect, but better…maybe once we get to where we should be with God, and there is NOTHING else, then our sleep will be restored…..just in time for what is about to happen in the world around us….he needs us dedicated to him, but also healed, to serve him…and if he serve him while disabled, then we will become more “able” to serve him more in the future.

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